To be steaming ! Does anyone else have guests that are hardly lifying a finger to help ?!

[Duvetdaysaregood]

Arrived 22nd.
3 young adults . Dc plus partner . Today ds partner relative arrives at her request .
invited self for night .
have cooked , shopped cleaned .
constant grazing between meals , constant hungrry , requests for me to
chill instead of load dishwasher , clean up the mess.

i asked partner to do one jib to help and rhe resonse was i will do it tomorrow . I was so taken aback .
i am getting really cross now .

anyone else ???
its like running a hotel ! I have just made one of them
hoover .

Have you also asked your DC to chip in? Or just the partner?

But I sympathise to an extent. When are they going?

What are the DC who invited these people doing?

Does the stuff actually need doing, or are you just making a martyr of yourself?

The fact they are telling you to leave the dishes and chill and that jobs can wait until tomorrow and that you're making people hoover suggests the latter. If you cleaned before they came the house can go a few days without a hoover unless somebody has made a specific mess on the floor.

Martyring yourself is the worst of all worlds.

Don't do it.

Steaming to me means drunk!

Ask people to help if you need help but yes would agree that the point of Christmas is to chill so if it can wait until tomorrow then leave it! And never be afraid to say ‘can I’ve a hand, can you do x’ to everyone!

What's the dc doing whose invited these extra people?

We've always had a rule in this house that I'm responsible for preparing the food (which I enjoy doing), but that my responsibility ends the minute the food is on the table. After that, all table clearing, washing up and putting away is for someone else to do, and I don't much care who that is, or how long it takes.

Me too 😂. Was expecting a different thread lol

Stop running round after them, why are you doing that? Tell them you’re not cooking, if they want something, there are shops open and they need to clear up after themselves as they go. I’ve just done a huge cleanup/clean, didn’t even have guests, but beds needed changing, the stairwell/windowsills were filthy and the dishes needed clearing/dishwasher on/washing machine on, tumble dryer filter needed cleaning out. I’m happy to do it, DH is walking the dogs and I’ve hurt my leg so can’t do the walking. If I had guests, I’d be asking for them to do anything needed.

Your DC need to sort this - have a strong word with them!

Why does the house need hoovering on Boxing Day?!

Same!

I hate people "helping" so this is my idea of heaven if I'm honest 😂 it does wind me up when people go "oh just sit down for a minute and relax" - I'm much happier cleaning and tidying and cooking than watching some shitey tv show 🤣🤣

requests for me to
chill instead of load dishwasher

It's very stressful being in a house with someone who thinks all chores must be completed immediately and refuses to countenance any socialising or enjoyment until that happens. The epitome of martyring.

The dishwasher didn't need loading right that second. The hoovering definitely doesn't need doing on Boxing Day unless you've actually spilt something. Whatever your partner said he'd do tomorrow can wait until tomorrow. Enjoying your loved ones' company is more important than keeping the house pristine. Whoever suggested you chill might be on to something.

Learn how to say no
Learn how to delegate
Learn how to let it go

Exactly, me and DH have only just done the last dishwasher load from yesterday’s lunch. Christmas is a different land, time moves slower here!

Allocate jobs to each and tell them you won't be serving any more food or drink until the work is done.

Stand over them silently, with your arms folded and wait. They will either comply or leave.

Don't put up with this shit !

I'd walk out and go somewhere else. Cf's all of them.

The one thing I love about Christmas is the fuck it when it comes to jobs
big pile of wrapping paper still in corner of back room
just finished yesterdays washing up and cleaned cooker from yesterday’s dinner

flapping about doing pointless jobs that don’t need to be done there and then just makes it a miserable experience for everyone

unclench relax just leave it

OMG just chill.

They can feed themselves.

(I also understand 'steaming' as very, very drunk - it describes a physiological reaction. Steam coming out of your ears = angry, is that it?).

You need to raise the charges at your hotel.

Yes. My dog. He's done fuck all to help around the house all weekend. The bastard.

Steaming means very annoyed, mad!!

Down tools.

No more food until the kitchen, bathroom and living room have been cleaned/stuff put away.

Then tell them they're paying for a take-away tonight AND alcohol AND washing up afterwards.

Don't fall for it again next year.