To be steaming ! Does anyone else have guests that are hardly lifying a finger to help ?!

[Duvetdaysaregood]

Arrived 22nd.
3 young adults . Dc plus partner . Today ds partner relative arrives at her request .
invited self for night .
have cooked , shopped cleaned .
constant grazing between meals , constant hungrry , requests for me to
chill instead of load dishwasher , clean up the mess.

i asked partner to do one jib to help and rhe resonse was i will do it tomorrow . I was so taken aback .
i am getting really cross now .

anyone else ???
its like running a hotel ! I have just made one of them
hoover .

I put the baking dishes back in the oven and washed them this morning. Do I win a prize for my slovenly ways?

Steaming means drunk to me too - and getting drunk defo sounds like the thing to do right now op. Sod it, it’s Christmas! Down tools, get a drink, relax!

I just have this image of everyone pissing themselves laughing at the passive aggressive antics of the poundshop Hermione Granger infront of them.

Totally with you, OP. It’s your house and you’re asking for help with 5 min jobs. It’s not up to anyone else to determine if it needs hoovering or not; it’s fait to ask everyone to pitch in a bit. Unbelievably rude for your guest to say they’ll do it tomorrow. WTF.

Blackpear
yes i felt after ive done so many things a small job was a normal thing to do to help out .

Not any more. Did it one year,spent a fortune.took the pee once. They will never get the opportunity to do it again.

An easier solution would have been to ask your extra guest if they could please bring their own duvet and pillows, as you don't have enough bedding for everyone. Towels too. If people are driving, it's not much trouble to shove your bedding in the car.

Sounds like you are being a bit of a martyr. Why do you need to hoover on boxing day? Do you have shedding dog? A messy toddler? Doesn't sound like it.

Three to one says they don't 😄

So you just ask DS to strip the bed when they get up then leave clean sheets on the bed for the new guests to make up themselves and give DS new sheets to take with them to their next bed 🤷 (or let them take the duvet/pillow they've been using with them and replace with the one from the new bed if that's logistically possible (eg not different bed sizes etc)

Surely, since it's family, they would have no issues making up their own bed? Whenever me or my siblings stay at my parents house it's a 50/50 toss up as to whether the beds are freshly made up or just stripped with fresh sheets folded on the bed - none of us would have any issues with making the beds up ourselves, it takes minutes. You don't have to do it, you're choosing to do it.

OP doesn't need to serve any food nor request that jobs are done. It sounds like the fun police have arrived! It's takeaways or help themselves or just take yourself upstairs with a wine and a box of chocs and have a bubble bath followed by crappy telly.

It sounds like the fun police have arrived!

I find that really strange. Who stays in someone's house and ignores the requests of the host?

When ds has mates to stay, they all do 5 minutes whizzing round, one each stacking the dish washer, putting the rubbish out or hanging up coats & clearing the hall of boots etc, while I clean the bathroom, and then everyone can relax.

It's very difficult and I think the only answer is to agree roles well in advance. I've had a similar experience but my twin toddler nieces added to the general stress as they would be allowed into the open plan kitchen when cooking was going on and it all got a bit dangerous. I called the parents, by phone within my own house, as they seemed to have selective hearing and told them I couldn't continue the meal dish out until they were removed .
Some of the other stresses I created myself such as having linen napkins and table clothes, china settings and cut glass. I do love all this but can't complain it creates extra work.
Prepare for next year in terms of what you want others to do but don't overthink it too much.

I would find this so obnoxious. Why should OP have to remove herself from Christmas in her own home rather than hope that people might spend 5 mins helping out, when she’s provided the food and place to stay etc? ‘fun police’ is very teenage

Reading this , it seems to assume that people have tvs upstairs in bed roomthat they can escape to to watch .
We don't have this , so this is not an option!

Also , assumption is that you can just strip a guest bed , then present them with fresh sheets.
sounds like op does not have that option . We would also have to wash , dry, re make in fast turnaround to go back in the bed .
.. again , not everyone has these things , or spare bedrooms etc so it can be hard work for sure .

Steaming means getting mad or angry to me.

I wouldn’t expect guests to help cook or clean, although it would be nice if they helped to clear plates to the kitchen etc. I certainly wouldn’t expect them to change bedding.

However, I do think the response you got was rude, and it is nice for them to offer to help.

I still don't see the issue ... If the beds need to be stripped, washed and then remade as you have no extra sheets surely you do the easy thing and ask the person getting out of the bed to strip it when they get up and bring it to the laundry; you wash/dry it (literally requires a few minutes of active work to fill the machine/switch the load etc); and then either remake the bed yourself or just give the freshly laundered sheets to the bed's new occupants to remake before they get into it that night?

But who doesn't have at least one extra set of sheets? In our house we have two sets of bedding for every bed, even if we were using some of them for extra make shift beds (eg sofas/air beds) then we'd still be able to get sheets washed/dried in a day ... And if we knew we were really short of bedding, we'd just ask guests to bring their own with them, especially if they're family, or borrow stuff from other family who live close by (if we weren't in a position to buy more) and it would be no issue.

You're creating issues where there aren't any to justify your martyrdom ...