To be steaming ! Does anyone else have guests that are hardly lifying a finger to help ?!

[Duvetdaysaregood]

Arrived 22nd.
3 young adults . Dc plus partner . Today ds partner relative arrives at her request .
invited self for night .
have cooked , shopped cleaned .
constant grazing between meals , constant hungrry , requests for me to
chill instead of load dishwasher , clean up the mess.

i asked partner to do one jib to help and rhe resonse was i will do it tomorrow . I was so taken aback .
i am getting really cross now .

anyone else ???
its like running a hotel ! I have just made one of them
hoover .

Why does the bathroom need cleaning on Boxing Day?!

OP shouldn’t be making all the food but I don’t treat guests as maids or expect the house to be cleaned from top to bottom on bloody Boxing Day.

Also who invites guests and then tells them to pay for a takeaway and alcohol? So rude.

Me too.

Why does the bathroom need cleaning on Boxing Day?!

How many guests are using that bog?
The basin, bath/shower?

Also - they've been there since the 22nd.

If you were in a hotel and it wasn't cleaned for 5 days, would you be happy?

What are people doing that means it needs cleaning every two days?!

The don’t do it.

They will soon step up when there’s no food, no clean plates etc.

Stop acting like a servant.

God just leave the hoovering and chill. You sound so stressful. Why have guests and be such a moany arse

I couldn’t live like that..must stink with yesterdays dirty dishes and cooker.

I do know how you feel- problem is an 83 year old male with a very bad leg here for 5 days isn't the kind of person to ask to 'help' and my24 year old son home for 7 days is more of a hinderance!

I think my annoyance is more of a mental thing that Islthough I'm a very sociable person, I don't like the feeling of others being around all the time for days on end and constant conversation and the 'what's the plan' kind of stuff - I've gone into town to get some solitude! I do realise it's actually my issue.

We just keep to ourselves for this reason every year. I couldn't be bothered with hosting at Christmas. Usually one of us is unwell. This year is no exception.

It's very stressful being in a house with someone who thinks all chores must be completed immediately and refuses to countenance any socialising or enjoyment until that happens. The epitome of martyring

@gannett it's far more stressful as a host to leave everything until the next day, it's just putting off the inevitable. It is possible to chat etc whilst also getting a bit done, "socialising and enjoyment" doesn't necessary mean you have to be sitting down doing nothing! With that many people one dishwasher load isn't going to cut it, personally I like to get bits done as I go, always with a glass of wine in my hand, and I would be mightily pissed off with any guests who thinks this is "the epitome of martyrdom!"

Why on earth are you letting them get away with this. Don't be such a doormat, such a martyr, say something.

Depends. Does it all need doing right now or are you one of those twitchy people that "can't" relax if the place isn't spotless?

If so, that's a you problem and don't spoil everyone else's Christmas by insisting they pitch in to get it to your standards.

You need to just tell these people to do something. Don’t expect them to, it’s not a hotel. In our house DH is chief cook (I’ll just peel the sprouts and put all peelings in the bin) Afterwards, whilst he’s recovering, I’m chief cleaner. It works for us 🤷‍♀️

Although, saying that, we’ve decided on steak and chips for next year’s Christmas dinner 😋 😋

You have a tongue in your head?
start giving directions…”can someone empty the kitchen bin please whilst I empty the dishwasher. Then I’ll need some help in the kitchen”

If you chose to martyr yourself don’t complain when people abuse your hospitality.

Tell them you can't relax until the chores are done, so if they'd like the pleasure of your company, they could get off their lazy arses and pitch in to help so it's done all the faster.

I'm betting it's not about missing your company, it's about feeling bad about obviously leaving everything to you. They want to chill out until they leave, at which point they won't care about the several days worth of catch-up chores they've left behind them.

Don't invite people who don't help out. Including your DC, although if you raised them, their laziness and poor manners are at least partly on you.

I've just hoovered the bit around the coffee table, it was covered in crisp crumbs.

You need to sort a simple rules system. Like if you cook you don't clean up. If you ask for a drink you get everyone's. You don't get another drink till the first cup is in the dishwasher. If you fill the dishwasher you turn it on. If you need something from the clean dishwasher you empty it.

Simple, easy rules that'll become second nature but drastically cut your workload. MIL has always had stuff like this and it makes it super easy for us to know what wants doing without intruding, plus once you're doing one thing, you naturally feel more comfortable doing others. Neither me or MIL can relax till things are squared away, so it really does help both of us enjoy ourselves.

😂😂 be thankful he's not a cat ordering you to wait on him hand and foot!

It's OP's house. She has done all the planning and cooking. If she wants the house to be kept clean and tidy over Christmas so that she can enjoy it then other adults should help get in that imo.

OP they sound like lazy slobs. I would be very direct especially with your own DC.

The problem with going on strike is that they're likely to raid the fridge and fuck up all meal planning etc

It’s not a hotel.

I don't get why people are saying just chill. With a house full of guests if nobody washed up or unloaded the dishwasher we'd not have anything to eat off. Yanbu OP! My pet peeve is dh's cousin who came for Christmas day, no presents, no food or wine brought, no help. Who does that??

How much can the hoovering really need doing on Boxing Day? Unless something has been spilt no harm will come of the house not being spotless for a few days. It sounds like you are being overly obsessive about the cleaning and do just need to chill out and give others a chance to chip in with stuff like the dishwasher.

Streaming means mad/ angry to me not drunk.
Anyway different people have different standards and some find it hard to relax with piles of washing up etc.
I think you need to let some things go( accept this is hard!) But it is boxing day so focus on enjoying spending time together.
I think it's more about your effort being appreciated.
Ask DCs/OH to do lunch/ tea/ buffet.
They are more likely to comply with this as they won't want to go hungry.
OH saying he will do it tomorrow would be like a red flag to me too if I had been going nonstop and was relaxing!
I have just hoovered- took 5 mins and I relax more when I'm not looking at a floor covered in dog hair.
I would have to load/ unload dishwasher too as couldn't leave yesterday xmas dinner washing up til this morning.
Hope you get to relax and enjoy the day OP.

You’re in the wrong, op.