My Mum is a Christmas Feeder!

[brandylegs]

My mum is a feeder generally. It's her way of showing affection.

However, it particularly annoys me at Christmas.

She asks what she wants her to bring with her for Christmas Day.

I always say nothing but as she loves cooking she will generally say, for instance, she will make a Christmas pudding.

I then buy everything else and ensure I tell her I've got everything.

She'll turn up with the Christmas pudding but also a Christmas cake, a Yule log, mince pies, sausage rolls, a sausage plait, huge trifle, biscuits, chocolates, cheeses etc.

I know she's trying to be kind but it annoys the hell out of me. We then have two lots of everything. I don't want any more. I've already brought it. It's a waste of my time and money!!!!

Oh my goodness, the idea that waking up to a house full of unhealthy food on Boxing Day is “grim” 😂😂😂

Midnight on Christmas Day that’s it, biscuits out for the birds, chocolate in the bin, Pringles just go flying out of the window - your one day a year of unhealthy food is over, kids! Get back on that kale and start counting down until next year 😂😂😂

MN never disappoints.

If you know she does it every year, why do you buy it all yourself anyway?

I would give a body part to have my Mum here. Being as you know this about your Mum, adjust your own thinking.

If you know she's going to do and she takes pleasure in doing it why don't you work with her on it? Might be a bit less jaw clenching for you.

I understand. Mostly because I like to know what's what, have planned things out and don't like last minute additions when hosting. But also because I often don't have extra space in fridge and freezer and couldn't possibly use all that in 1 day! Also we both have some weight to lose and beingnleft with loads of sweet foods becomes torture for us.
Food bank? Elderly neighbours who may appreciate something dropped round?

Just be grateful and if you don’t want to eat it don’t!

If you know she’ll always bring stuff then why don’t you give her a list of things to buy so you’re not wasting money…

Send your mum to mine for Christmas in future op, she sounds fabulous.

Well, at least someone here knows how to party.

Enjoy her, you will miss her when she's gone. I would give anything to have my DM back for even half an hour, all of her annoying habits and all 😊merry Christmas

Oh relax would you 🤣🤣

I get where you’re coming from OP, I’d have to say something (not this time but next time I’m advance)

”Mum, you know I love you and I love your baking but you’re sort of stepping on my toes a bit when it’s my turn to host. I love the opportunity to feed you for a change so please just bring <insert name of appropriate item> and I’m sorting the rest”

If she then ignores this, send her home with all her extra food. It’s a teensy bit controlling of her to disregard your wishes just because she’s a feeder!

Nah not this op

Your thought processes dont sound very healthy. Reading all that into a caring mum who is bringing food gifts. Its xmas, people eat and eat and eat and appreciate home baked stuff.

I'm with you completely OP. I hate food waste, but this sort of food I actually would quite happily chuck in the bin. I hate food waste because I care about the environment. But the food's already there and I'd have had no control over it. And me putting food in my body that I don't need has no benefit over throwing it out. I'm over 50 and struggle with my weight. There are lots of things I'd do for my lovely mum but getting diabetes isn't one of them. So I'd smile, say thank you, and chuck it all in the green bin as soon as she goes home.

If you know food is her way of showing affection, get her involved with the Christmas food buying list.

It's not difficult to find a solution here.

Most of your posts are about dieting and weight etc, so all this is you projecting. Not a balanced view at all.

You're not going to get diabetes for eating xmas food for a week a year.

Obviously everyone can arrange their lives however they like, but this does sound a bit Puritan and joyless. In our house, one of the highlights of the days between Christmas and New Year is knowing there will be plenty of cheese, cold sausages, ham, chocolates, etc to pick at any time you fancy a snack or if people come round.

I hope so too smiling NinjaWarrior. Have a happy New Year also 🎇

Yes I buy doubles of everything so there are 'left overs' for days

She'll turn up with the Christmas pudding but also a Christmas cake, a Yule log, mince pies, sausage rolls, a sausage plait, huge trifle, biscuits, chocolates, cheeses etc.

My MIL does this. I'd be grateful if she wasn't such an atrocious cook. We had to have her salmon quiche yesterday 🤢

She also brings stuff unannounced and then gets shitty if it's not eaten, because I should be able to shelve everything I've planned and serve her dry horrible crap instead. Honestly, a sausages roll must be about 40% fat, how on earth does she make them so dry???

OP if your mum is bringing edible food I'd just try to plan around it next year and take the risk that she might depart from the script and you end up with nothing. Honestly I'd love it if someone brought delicious food to my house.

When she asks what you want her to bring, ask her to bring some things you know she'd like to bring this saving you having to buy it? Unless the things she brings aren't very nice?

We have family who never quite bring what they're supposed to bring and lots of extra things we don't really want or need but we try and just work our way through the leftovers and extras throughout the week!

We did our shopping lists together so my mum knew what I was buying and vice versa.

She has still turned up with half the stuff on my list including 4 packets of pate. - enough to feed 12 people even though she knows only one person is having pate.

If anyone else on here is in Germany please tell me where I can buy mince pies and Yule log.