Working from home with a 1 year old?

[Janedoe95]

Is it possible? Or completely unrealistic.

I work a 9-5 but I’m lucky that my job is more task based I’ve only been back to work a week but have managed to get all my work done using nap time, bedtime and sending the odd email whilst DS is distracted.

is it unrealistic to think I can survive like this for maybe 6 more months hopefully by the time DS is 18 months or even two it will be easier?

im only in my office two days a week so was initially planning for DS to be in nursery 3 days but the prices have just gone up and it’s so expensive!

I'm on almost 28K which I thought was a fair salary to have a baby on but 5 days a week would cost me nearly £2000 a month! Which is obviously more than I earn.

i think I’d probably be better off on benefits staying at home with my baby whilst my partner works but I’d be completely reliant on my partner and then have no pension too.

(my work do know my baby is around when I work from home some days as I breastfeed but they also don’t expect me to be looking after him and working so “legally he’s being watched by someone else”)

I really don’t know how other women do it especially single mums the I’m 26 and the majority of mums I know my age don’t work and others are having babies mid to late 30s and 40s

Completely unrealistic 😂

Mine are nearly 5 and 2.5. I can just about get my last hour of work done after I've picked him up from school, but no chance with the 2 year old!

Here we go again.

This is going to go to shit, really quite soon probably, especially since work think your baby is being cared for by someone else when you're working. A young toddler needs watched. Properly watched, or things can go tragically wrong. And if work clock on that you're WFH without any childcare, you will find yourself on a disciplinary.

Covid taught me working with a 2 year old was impossible.
Ultimately I felt like a terrible mum and a terrible employee.
there are also lots of other reasons not to do it, but honestly this is the top one for me.

You can only try, but I can only say from my experience of running a business and trying to work from home with a 5 month old. It is impossible. I also have a 3 year old and when she’s home from nursery I get nothing done. I do see your dilemma but you can neither effectively parent or effectively work when you’re trying to do both.

i say this as I try and rock my baby to sleep so I can do some work, that I’ve been unable to do today, this evening.

Have you used tax free childcare and looked at childminders?

Its shit how expensive childcare is. But as your child becomes older, nap times will decrease and they are more likely to get into mischief when your back is turned for 30seconds.

Another option is both youvand partner compressing 5 days into 4 so you can each have a day off.

It's just not possible to work 9-5 with a 1-2yo in the house and be both an effective parent and employee.
You and your partner jointly need to fund the childcare for your joint child.
Have you set up a tax free childcare account yet?

It could be possible if you use nap time and evenings to do your tasks.
My three DC all dropped their naps at around 2 so factor that in.
Could you afford a part time childminder?
Do you have a partner?

Sorry, it gets worse not easier. My DS is 3 now and whenever I've had to WFH with him, it's far worse now he's more mobile, more demanding and doesn't nap/feed. I basically throw snacks at him while telling him not to jump off the furniture all day long if I'm trying to work at the same time. I was studying for a Masters when he was 1 and it was a piece of piss compare to working with a toddler/preschooler.

Unrealistic. Although you must have a fairly easy job or a baby who sleeps lots if you can manage to condense a days work into nap time and after bed time.

I actually think it's probably harder when they get older. They will nap less and then most kids drop a nap between 2 and 2.5. A baby is fine entertaining themself crawling around the house etc. A toddler needs to be out and about at activities. Between 1 and 2 is hard as they can run and climb and open things they shouldn't but aren't old enough to play independently or understand why they shouldn't do naughty things etc

it not fair on your dc, your employers or your colleagues

Sorry, you’re being totally unrealistic. It will get harder not easier as your toddler gets more able to get into mischief. You need eyes in the back of your head even when you aren’t trying to work at the same time.

It’s shit how expensive childcare is but this isn’t the answer.

i Work from home and it’s completely unrealistic to do this. I had to try it for a day when mine was ill and you fail as a parent and also don’t get any work done. Not fair in the child or your colleagues. I do sympathise as nursery fees are extortionate..I would say it’s possible to do the odd day here and there from when they are around 4/5 although you’ll feel guilty about the amount of screen time

In my role there would be absolutely no way this set up would work, and I’m sure plenty of others will be along to say the same.

If you’re genuinely able to flex when you work/deliver on your tasks in nap time & bedtimes I’d suggest you’re honest with your employer.
You could consider working compressed hours where you work 5 days worth of hours over 4 days and save a day of childcare fees that way.

Also, childcare isn’t just your responsibility. What’s your partner doing to help (either with costs or with taking care of DS)? When mine were little I basically worked to cover childcare costs but it meant that I still had a job once they were in school and kept up my pension. If you can manage financially like that, it won’t be that long before you get pre-school hours etc and it’ll get a bit easier.

Have you looked at childminders? I can believe that sort of cost for nursery (similar where I am) but I think a good childminder round here is about £65/day. Perhaps explore if you can do some of your hours on a flexible or compressed basis and use a childminder for 4 days a week?

it unrealistic to think I can survive like this for maybe 6 more months hopefully by the time DS is 18 months or even two it will be easier?

So your baby is 1 now? It doesn't magically get easier in 6-12 months, try 3 years. When your child is between 1-3 years you will not get any proper work done unless you sit toddler in front of the tv all day, which many toddlers won't tolerate anyway.

I wfh and I still send my 2 to after school club and holiday club in the school holidays when I'm working - and they are 4 and 7. When I have both of them, like if I had a childcare emergency, I can get a bit of work done but not a huge amount. It's a bit easier if I just have 1 of them but it's still not a full day. I'm not planning on relaxing my childcare arrangements for at least 3 more years.

No, no and no.

Someone at my work essentially got fired for giving up childcare and looking after 3DC while 'working from home'. She was totally unproductive and unreliable.

It definitely won't work, I mean.

I had to do this during the first lockdown, baby was 11 months old. Absolute nightmare, lead to me almost having a breakdown. I feel like I borderline have PTSD from that time, certain CBeebies theme tunes from things we watched then make me feel all weird and depressed. I felt like I was constantly letting work down (trying to teach kids over teams) and simultaneously letting my daughter down. My sister’s son actually got a nasty head bump during that time because she wasn’t watching while on a call and he fell off the sofa.

It depends on your job I guess. I started my own business from home. I used to work during my daughters naps when she had 2 a day and then in the evening.

You do what you have to do. She went to preschool at 2, sometimes I still do some bits of work in the evening.

It depends on you as well, if you can make it work.

Also you could hire a VA to do a couple of hours a day for you of admin if it would be helpful 😂

I’ve heard of people totally outsourcing their jobs.

DH reckons, if DS had been ~ 12 months during lockdown, he could have just about managed to scrape together enough work from home. Since DS turned 18 months it would have been very, very hard and since he turned 2.3 and dropped the nap, would have been absolutely impossible. Sample size of 1, but it’s only gotten harder, not easier to complete tasks.

I'm on almost 28K which I thought was a fair salary to have a baby on but 5 days a week would cost me nearly £2000 a month! Which is obviously more than I earn.

Yes but your partner would be paying half. And pension, job prospects, experience etc. aren't worth nothing.

Look at sharing a childminder or something.

And no, you can't work and look after a child. You'll do both badly.

Firstly, pretty go if you're idea that it'll be easier when they get to 18m-2y. If anything it'll be considerably HARDER.

don't forget that lots of us were forced to try to make this with during lockdown. It doesn't. You can manage for the odd day, odd week even if necessary, but its not viable long term. And even it needs to be with the knowledge of those you work with, otherwise it's going to be clear you're not doing your hours. You won't be able to answer phone calls or video meetings - even during nap time because if they wake it will be obvious that you have no childcare.

Frankly, you'll be exhausting yourself to be rubbish at your job, and a rubbish and borderline negligent mother.

Doing it short term with a knowledge of an employer is difficult and should be avoided. Trying to do it long term without their knowledge is absolutely barking.

I did it no problem but then I work for myself so could work around it much more rather than working to a boss' deadline necessarily.

No way, and it's not fair on your child.