Working from home with a 1 year old?

[Janedoe95]

Is it possible? Or completely unrealistic.

I work a 9-5 but I’m lucky that my job is more task based I’ve only been back to work a week but have managed to get all my work done using nap time, bedtime and sending the odd email whilst DS is distracted.

is it unrealistic to think I can survive like this for maybe 6 more months hopefully by the time DS is 18 months or even two it will be easier?

im only in my office two days a week so was initially planning for DS to be in nursery 3 days but the prices have just gone up and it’s so expensive!

I'm on almost 28K which I thought was a fair salary to have a baby on but 5 days a week would cost me nearly £2000 a month! Which is obviously more than I earn.

i think I’d probably be better off on benefits staying at home with my baby whilst my partner works but I’d be completely reliant on my partner and then have no pension too.

(my work do know my baby is around when I work from home some days as I breastfeed but they also don’t expect me to be looking after him and working so “legally he’s being watched by someone else”)

I really don’t know how other women do it especially single mums the I’m 26 and the majority of mums I know my age don’t work and others are having babies mid to late 30s and 40s

Your child would be better off with a kindly, reliable child minder or a daily nanny; cheaper than a nursery too,

Totally 100% not realistic nor is it the best for the child IMO.

During lockdowns I had a 3YO at home and WFH full time. It was hideous.

More recently, WFH with my 18mo here as nursery heating broke during the cold snap. Total clusterfuck. He was basically babysat by CBeebies which is so sad, and I wasn't focused on my work and tasks that would usually be quick to complete took far longer due to lack of concentration. Any calls I had to do with toddler hanging off my hip (tried to plan calls for nap only but life doesn't always go to plan - one day his nap went wonky, the other days work needed me on calls at late notice).

Childcare bills are shit. I see why you're considering this as an option, but it's just not fair on anyone involved. You'll be burnt out so quickly. Child will have less stimulation and attention. Work will be essentially only get you for your office days but somehow required to pay for 5.

Do you think everyone works down the mines?

I can easily write an email, check a report, send a voice note whilst playing with DD.

And yes doing both terribly, thats why I receive quarterly bonuses and a massive pay rise just last month for outstanding performance. DD is thriving and happily playing with her mother most of the day.

My role is incredibly flexible, I am fully in control of my own hours and how much I work.

I tried a (more ethical) version of this from 6-11m. This was before lockdown. I'd try to get close to half a day worth done during the day (so naps, and 2 x 15m of baby sensory) and then work for 3 hours in the evening.

It was manageable but difficult. It became much harder the older she got. I rarely got as much work done as I wanted, and my time with my child was very constrained. We couldn't do groups, because I couldn't risk her falling asleep when out, if I didnt have my laptop, everything was geared around multitasking. It meant I couldn't use naps to prepare meals or do chores, and obviously I was working all evening as well.

This was in a job with complete flexibility and without lying to anyone.

Absolutely, mine is a little younger than yours (just turned 1) I attempted it once when I kept him off nursery with a temperature (fine in himself) and it was an absolute disaster. He almost broke my laptop and I lasted about 35 minutes before booking leave 😂

I did something similar - 2 days a week paid employment plus 1 day a week freelance work but the employment is task based. I had a 2 year old in nursery 3 days a week and a 6 month old not in childcare. I managed until he was 15 months and then he started nursery. It was doable but meant literally working every evening and every naptime. Everything else had to be done when he was awake. I got very fed up with it and couldn't wait to have a full day to concentrate properly. Although you are getting full days sometimes so that could be easier in some ways.

I would look at a childminder or even just one extra nursery day.

I think it may get easier once he's down to one nap. He'll probably carry on having one nap of 2 hours ish until age 2 or 2.5. After that TV is your friend.

Agree with pp that childcare is split 50 50 and if you give up work your husband should be paying your pension and NI contributions so you don't end up worse off. Also remember that taking 2 years off could permanently damage your earning potential so if at all possible keep working. Only give up if it's the only alternative to getting into debt. It's 2 years until the free hours kicks in.

Ok, you’re doing well at work.

Where do you take your DD to socialise? When do you take her outside to play, whilst you’re emailing? Where DIL you take her with her wellies on to jump in puddles, whilst you’re earning your quarterly bonus and being outstanding?

No I don’t believe that you can effectively look after a child’s needs well and be a super hero at work and have no childcare.

Shocking that you even think that’s an acceptable idea.

Can you afford half days at nursery/child minder and flex your hours a bit? Mine used to do 7.30 to 1. DH would take them so I could start work at 7. Then I'd take lunch 12.45 to 1.45. They usually came in and had a nap or were shattered and happy to sit in front of a film for an hour then I was finished at 3. Worst case and they needed a lot off attention for that hour I could make it up in the evening.

100% not possible, kids that age can't entertain themselves, your focus would never truly be on your work.

Agree impossible to do more than the odd email sent from a phone while awake. That's not what the OP is suggesting though.

This is why service from companies is pretty crap at the moment. I called a firm last week to complain as I hadn’t received an item I was billed for in November. I heard Pepper Pig on in the background, and childrens’ voices. I felt the service I was getting was ‘distracted’, and the person was asking me to repeat things I’d already told her. I came off the phone and sent an email of complaint to the company. Received a response to say they were looking into it, but I’m not sure how seriously they took my complaint. I wfh full time, and honestly cannot imagine how anyone with young children can work and care for them at the same time. Something has to give.

She may be thriving and meeting her milestones, imagine how much better she’d do with proper childcare!

if you saw a mother on her phone constantly, you’d call her out as not being involved etc, but you’re just the same.

very poor parenting imo!

doesn’t matter if you’re on mumsnet or emailing, you’re distracted.

We go to toddler groups most days, she also goes to the crèche whilst I’m at the gym (again I go pretty much every day)

I have other friends who do the same so sometimes we WFH at each others houses and the kids get together, it’s great.

You can believe what you want, sadly you seem to be suffering with not understanding the world isn’t as small as your lived experiences.

And normally it’s the child. Because they don’t issue complaints.

Who is on their phone constantly?

This

I have made this work since 2018 with two children both who were babies in that timeframe. It can be fine but you do need a LITTLE help - I went to my in laws once a week to do really focussed stuff and do any phone calls etc. eventually when they were a bit older I got a nanny a few mornings a week.

You working I assume ?

im so glad to see the vast majority are saying it’s not possible, the thought of trying to work and parent at the same time is awful!

use your massive pay rise and bonus to pay for proper childcare?

it’s fairer on your child and employer.

Nope.just because you'll want to make the most of being a mum and meeting baby friends and going out to do things rather than being tied to your desk just in case. Its not the solution.

Exactly this!

Crikey it is all about you isn’t it!

And this, people, is why customer service is so shit at the moment. What you’re describing here is impossible. All I can assume from your post is that the person giving you bonuses and excellent feedback is in the same boat as you, and is standing in solidarity of your mutually crappy attempts to make it work.

And happy to parent “part time” whilst meant to be full time parenting!

Did no one teach you that classic saying around making assumptions?

And no thanks, we have Hawaii booked for New Years, it’s going towards that instead

Good thing I don’t work in customer service then isn’t it.

Neither do many, many working people