To uninvite a family member for Christmas dinner due to illness.

[ponderingnow]

I feel really stuck between a rock and a hard place. A family member who was due to have Christmas dinner with us is now unwell after spending time with someone else (staying over) with a household where they knew everyone had awful chest infections/the flu. I feel terrible but have to consider other family members and myself - I really don’t want this horrible bug that’s going around but feel very guilty. AIBU to uninvite them?

Take no notice OP. I al 10 days in with this flu/bug. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Truly. Covid was a walk in the park in comparison. It would be incredibly selfish of them to turn up.

"Sorry to hear you're ill, I'm sure you won't want to risk coming seeing as we will be seeing <vulnerable relatives> afterwards, but let's catch up in the new year once you're better." Job done.

If they reply and say that they're actually coming then act confused. "Oh don't be silly, of course you can't come - you're ill. Now rest up and hope you feel better soon!"

For goodness sake. If she's sick she shouldn't be coming, whatever age she is.

A shame it took Covid for some people to realise that if they're sick they shouldn't be mixing socially with others, even if it isn't covid they've got.

Absolutely agree. No need for nasty comments about a genuine health risk

Oh my gosh, no! You can't uninvite her!!

If you'd have said there was someone extremely vulnerable attending then I guess you would have a point but crikey.

Not in a million years would I uninvite someone. If she's too ill then I guess she won't come along anyway.

I hope the ill person does stay at home. One of my friends went to a pre-Christmas family get-together last weekend. One of her DH’s brothers said he’s better go home early as he hadn’t been feeling well for a couple of days.

He tested positive for Covid and now 6 of the 12 attendees are ill. As my friend said, he knew he wasn’t well, but he showed up anyway. It’s frustrating.

Ooh this is a tricky one. I hate the thought of an elderly person being alone for Christmas, but in your case you have other vulnerable people to consider so I think that yes you will have to explain your concerns kindly to your relative. You never know, if she’s that poorly, she may feel relieved that she’s not obliged to come.

What an idiotic response

There is an article in BBC news saying don't mix if unwell.

don't be daft you've got an immune system. Fuck it, it'll be fine

I would but would offer to plate up a dinner and take it over to them

How festive. Tepid turkey and soggy sprouts on your own like a charity case.

It's one day , one meal , just postpone it for them
Stop with the fucking drama

Stop with the fucking drama

Shan't. Try and imagine the relatives feelings - uninvited then shoved a 'plated up meal' and supposed to be grateful for the thought. Presumably OP will leave it on the doorstep so she doesn't catch anything.

Good grief @MrsDanversGlidesAgain talk about cup half full , they have been thought about
What a selfish attitude you have , think about the other people

& shan't, that did make me laugh Are you 6? 😆

Yes, selfish OP - you should be having them over then spreading it to your vulnerable relatives in care homes. If they become seriously ill they're just being dramatic.

Yes, selfish OP - you should be having them over then spreading it to your vulnerable relatives in care homes. If they become seriously ill they're just being dramatic

Point out where I said OP should do that. Helpful hint - I didn't. I was pointing out the miserableness of a 'plated dinner' being delivered to be eaten alone as an alternative to the expected Christmas dinner.

I think that this is a good development post covid. I really don't want to spend a week feeling miserable just because someone didn't want to keep their germs to themselves. Spreading your illness around is just rude!

If the relative hasn't had the decency to univite herself anything the OP does for her in terms of plating up a dinner is generous.

And if the relative has to spend the day alone it's hardly the end of the world.

I agree , it is miserable compared to what was originally planned @MrsDanversGlidesAgain but everything has shifted as they are now ill
You must see that ???

I’m surprised you think that being delivered a plated dinner when you’re ill would be miserable-personally, I’d be delighted that people were thinking of me.

Why would anyone want to sit in someone else's house when they are property ill. Xmas day or not. I can't imagine anything worst tbh

My husband, myself and my 15 year old son were un-invited to XMas at in-laws. My son was sick with the flu and fever for 4 days. Today, no fever, feels well and COVID test negative. But my inlaws still didn't want us to come over for fear of getting sick. They are still hosting and having other family members over. My husband and I are sad and hurt that we 3 are not allowed to go. So, we are doing nothing for the day. Are they being unreasonable?

No they aren't. With your child ill the previous days you should have got some food in just in case. They aren't unreasonable for not wanting to be around him if it's not completely gone or only just gone.