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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Worst Wedding Reception Ever?

495 replies

TheShellBeach · 23/12/2022 14:46

I am still trying to get my head round this one.

It was a friend's wedding last week and they happy couple invited twelve people to their reception.

After the ceremony (which was lovely) we went back to the couple's house.

There was no wedding cake. No drinks. We made ourselves cups of tea and coffee.

Then the groom handed out menus for the local curry house. Once we'd all picked what we wanted, he asked us to transfer the cost of our orders to his bank account, before he phoned up and placed the order.

After we'd eaten and tidied up, the newlyweds asked us to leave because they were tired.......................no speeches, no fun, no dancing, no music and NO FOOD provided.

AIBU to think this was the worst wedding reception ever?

OP posts:
SirGawain · 23/12/2022 16:37

Only in the parallel universe which is Mumsnet would this be considered acceptable.

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 16:37

Well, in my OP I said they were friends, but actually he is a very distant cousin a hundred times removed on DH's side. We were surprised to be asked as we only met them once before.

easy mistake to make… referring to a “very distant cousin a hundred times removed” that you met “once at a wedding” with “friend” 🤔

Original poster
TheShellBeach · 23/12/2022 16:37

SirGawain · 23/12/2022 16:37

Only in the parallel universe which is Mumsnet would this be considered acceptable.

Grin
OP posts:
Sandra1984 · 23/12/2022 16:39

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 16:28

I’m curious

Was this entirely out of character for them?

Show quote history

Yes, it was quite out of character. All the guests were pretty shocked and 5 years later we still crack jokes about that wedding. Most of us don’t speak to the bride anymore. She has worked very hard on burning her bridges with most of her friends. A Very narcissist woman.

ShandaLear · 23/12/2022 16:40

I actually wouldn’t mind this as long as expectations were clear. If someone said ‘we’re getting married and we’d like you to come. Money is tight for all of us this year so instead of getting us a gift can you contribute £20 each for a takeaway and bring a bottle?’ If I’d gone to John Lewis and spent £150 on a Wedgwood cutlery set I’d have been well pissed off.

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 16:40

What drew you to accept the invite of a “very distant cousin hundred times removed” that both you and your DH had only ever met ONCE years before at a wedding?

😐

Wheredoallthepensgo · 23/12/2022 16:41

Only on Mumsnet could anyone think this was fine/an honour/that it's "entitled" to find paying for your own meal at a "reception" like this very rude and odd. I bet half the folk posting absolute shite like this don't actually believe it's fine and normal "wedding" behaviour at all but just love having a go at any OP who posts.

It sounds utterly dire. They sound tighter than a gerbil's arsehole. What a miserable fucking excuse for a wedding do. Bet everyone who knows them well declined cos they know they are fucking chancers.

Maireas · 23/12/2022 16:42

How did the invitation read?
Was it clear that there was no meal as such?

ReneBumsWombats · 23/12/2022 16:43

Only on Mumsnet could anyone think this was fine/an honour/that it's "entitled" to find paying for your own meal at a "reception" like this very rude and odd.

They don't really, they're just trying to be superior.

readingismycardio · 23/12/2022 16:44

Wtf! And the fact they also asked for money!!! This is so rude.

oviraptor21 · 23/12/2022 16:46

I am fascinated by this wedding with no parents on either side and only 12 guests, some of whom hardly know the couple.

What were the bride and groom like? Did the conversation flow? Are they off on honeymoon? What did the other guests think of the 'reception'? Were they normal people and did they know the bridge or groom well?

Wheredoallthepensgo · 23/12/2022 16:48

@Ursuladevine get a fucking grip. It's obviously extremely odd and fucking right to behave like this.

LolaMoon · 23/12/2022 16:48

jinglebells22 · 23/12/2022 14:52

It doesn't sound anything like a wedding reception. It sounds like having some mates round for a takeaway. If that's what they wanted fine but don't dress it up as a reception. And yes it's tight to expect you to pay and not to offer any refreshments. I'm presuming you forked out for a wedding present so it seems a bit mean on their part to not feed their 'guests'.

This. I mean, do what you want for your wedding but this isnt a "reception", its asking people to buy a curry. Low key is fine but asking people to buy their own take away is rubbish "hosting".

Wheredoallthepensgo · 23/12/2022 16:48

Tight!! Not right. Bloody auto correct.

Wheredoallthepensgo · 23/12/2022 16:50

@Ursuladevine AND she's clarified about them being distant relatives not close friends. Wonder why they didn't have close friends to invite? Take a guess Grin

NoelNoNoel · 23/12/2022 16:50

I went to one that was in a borrowed garden, there must have been soft drinks but I can’t remember what they were and that was it. People were milling around saying how nice the garden was. It was really strange.

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 16:54

Wheredoallthepensgo · 23/12/2022 16:48

@Ursuladevine get a fucking grip. It's obviously extremely odd and fucking right to behave like this.

Also very odd to go to the wedding of a “very distant cousin hundred times removed” that you and your DH have “met once ages ago at a wedding”

What the heck made the OP accept! Who goes to the wedding of someone they’ve met once before ages ago at a wedding?! The OP it would seem.

So much of this scenario is odd!

billy1966 · 23/12/2022 16:56

TheShellBeach · 23/12/2022 16:37

Grin
Show quote history

Completely agree.

They sound ghastly.

At least it will be a story to tell all mutual family that you meet over the coming years.

I know I certainly would.

What a complete waste of your time.

FlissyPaps · 23/12/2022 16:56

This is why I hate weddings.

The utter snarky and snide attitudes towards them.

There is no rule book. There is no right or wrong way to do a wedding.

A wedding is to celebrate the marriage of 2 people. It is their day and they have every right to celebrate how they wish. If you don’t like that, then you’re not a friend. Not at all.

It’s not up to guests to dictate what food should be eaten and what to and not pay for. It’s a takeaway not a Michelin star meal. Get. A. Grip.

MargotChateau · 23/12/2022 16:57

Low key weddings are my favourite I think they are memorable, stress free and romantic, I’ve been to receptions which were picnics at the park and barbecues at the beach ( I come from a hot country), and a potluck for a hard up, but very special couple (here in the U.K.) who we wanted to surprise with a knees up after their town hall wedding.

Bar the one where my friends and arranged a surprise backyard reception, the food at the other modest weddings was provided by the bride and groom. If they want to have a paid for takeout at the end, let your guest know, and make sure to state no presents in the invite or it’s very grabby to not pay as the host but happily take presents.

NoelNoNoel · 23/12/2022 16:58

What the heck made the OP accept! Who goes to the wedding of someone they’ve met once before ages ago at a wedding?! The OP it would seem
My DH went to an overseas wedding of a couple where I’d only met the groom once at another wedding and my DH hadn’t seen the groom for many years. Neither of us had met the bride. We thought it would be good fun, it was and neither of us have seen them
since.

Aftersevens · 23/12/2022 16:58

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 16:22

The viper is the Op

starts a thread about her very close friends intimate wedding, how shit it was, on a huge chat forum that is often picked up by the DM

Show quote history

Yeah, no.
OP did not say they were very close friends. You’re just stirring. Admit it.

EmmaAgain22 · 23/12/2022 16:58

FlissyPaps · 23/12/2022 16:56

This is why I hate weddings.

The utter snarky and snide attitudes towards them.

There is no rule book. There is no right or wrong way to do a wedding.

A wedding is to celebrate the marriage of 2 people. It is their day and they have every right to celebrate how they wish. If you don’t like that, then you’re not a friend. Not at all.

It’s not up to guests to dictate what food should be eaten and what to and not pay for. It’s a takeaway not a Michelin star meal. Get. A. Grip.

I agree it's their day

so ideally, less pressure when you turn down the invite would be lovely! Some couples seem to want to be worshipped.

LolaMoon · 23/12/2022 16:58

Only on mumsnet would anyone say this sounds fine etc etc
It's a massive pile of shit. Who entertains guests without even providing food and drinks. Madness, very stingy and weird

Yep lol. Anything more fancy than having a "small" wedding wearing second hand rags, holding your reception in a public toilet and feeding your guests a pot noodle and puddle water you are clearly acting "superior" and "showing off"😜

BelleMarionette · 23/12/2022 17:00

Yes it's down right weird.

Low key and alternative weddings are fine (but let guests know in advance so they know what to expect).

Not providing any food or drink for your guests is terrible. It's not hosting. This applies wether its a wedding, birthday, engagement party etc. If you invite guests over, then you need to host them.

If they had food and drink provided at theirs then I'm sure the OP wouldn't have had an issue.

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