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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Worst Wedding Reception Ever?

495 replies

TheShellBeach · 23/12/2022 14:46

I am still trying to get my head round this one.

It was a friend's wedding last week and they happy couple invited twelve people to their reception.

After the ceremony (which was lovely) we went back to the couple's house.

There was no wedding cake. No drinks. We made ourselves cups of tea and coffee.

Then the groom handed out menus for the local curry house. Once we'd all picked what we wanted, he asked us to transfer the cost of our orders to his bank account, before he phoned up and placed the order.

After we'd eaten and tidied up, the newlyweds asked us to leave because they were tired.......................no speeches, no fun, no dancing, no music and NO FOOD provided.

AIBU to think this was the worst wedding reception ever?

OP posts:
ortonym · 25/12/2022 15:34

ReneBumsWombats · 25/12/2022 15:28

The thread title is clearly rhetorical.

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And yet people are answering...

ReneBumsWombats · 25/12/2022 15:41

ortonym · 25/12/2022 15:34

And yet people are answering...

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They're not answering a serious question of whether anything worse than this has ever happened at a wedding reception.

As well you know.

Tavaress · 25/12/2022 21:16

Never heard nothing like it, because they are not your friends and only distant relatives I would like to think after they suggested having a meal and you all having to pay I would have said to them " We are leaving now and going to the pub, you two are a pair of minge bags with absolutely no class and you won't see us ever again. Get my coat and Good night.

Lost123454 · 25/12/2022 21:48

Did they make you re-use the tea bags too?

therarebear · 26/12/2022 00:42

bjjgirl · 23/12/2022 14:48

Jesus you were lucky enough to be on of only 12 guests, I would have been honoured at that. Plus a curry and an intimate do sounds lovely

With no drinks and a curry they were told to pay for themselves?

PimlicoUK · 26/12/2022 01:40

If they didn’t even tell you beforehand that you’d be chipping in for the curry, then that is tight AF. And rude.

LoisLane66 · 26/12/2022 09:43

I'd not have given £50 to people I don't know and would have made my excuses and left if there was no food or even wedding cake of any sort. Dreadful.

eastegg · 26/12/2022 10:33

TheShellBeach · 23/12/2022 14:52

No, it was not mentioned. He is a distant relative of DH's and I have a feeling that a lot of people chose not to go because they know how tight the bloke is.

We were probably only asked because a lot of people did not want to.

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Well it’s an unusual wedding reception yes, but this is incredibly bitchy. You’re worse than them.

sue20 · 26/12/2022 10:46

Sounds quite nice I’d probably go for same in the unlikely event I’d ever get married. The wedding and reception are for the happy couple to do as they wish not for them to put on an expensive stressful event for their friends and family.

sue20 · 26/12/2022 10:48

therarebear · 26/12/2022 00:42

With no drinks and a curry they were told to pay for themselves?

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My understanding from the post was that the curry cost was covered by groom.

ReneBumsWombats · 26/12/2022 10:49

sue20 · 26/12/2022 10:48

My understanding from the post was that the curry cost was covered by groom.

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"Then the groom handed out menus for the local curry house. Once we'd all picked what we wanted, he asked us to transfer the cost of our orders to his bank account, before he phoned up and placed the order."

sue20 · 26/12/2022 10:54

eastegg · 26/12/2022 10:33

Well it’s an unusual wedding reception yes, but this is incredibly bitchy. You’re worse than them.

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Yes I’m shocked at the majority vote. Really thought more would be saying it’s up to the couple

sue20 · 26/12/2022 10:59

TheShellBeach · 23/12/2022 14:55

I don't think anyone was upset by the small numbers in the reception group.
It was being asked to pay for the curry which startled us.
We thought they were joking at first.

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If the groom asked the orders to be transferred to his bank account surely that meant he was paying?

ReneBumsWombats · 26/12/2022 11:03

sue20 · 26/12/2022 10:59

If the groom asked the orders to be transferred to his bank account surely that meant he was paying?

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He asked the guests to transfer money for their orders to his account before he ordered.

Againstmachine · 26/12/2022 11:26

sue20 · 26/12/2022 10:59

If the groom asked the orders to be transferred to his bank account surely that meant he was paying?

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He's paying with the money guests transferred not sure why that's so hard to comprehend.

Ursuladevine · 26/12/2022 12:47

sue20 · 26/12/2022 10:59

If the groom asked the orders to be transferred to his bank account surely that meant he was paying?

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Are you being serious @sue20 ?

TheGoodTheBadAndTheIrritated · 26/12/2022 12:48

@sue20 that sounds like something my kids would say!

Zax · 26/12/2022 14:27

sue20 · 26/12/2022 10:46

Sounds quite nice I’d probably go for same in the unlikely event I’d ever get married. The wedding and reception are for the happy couple to do as they wish not for them to put on an expensive stressful event for their friends and family.

Absolutely, some sense at last. Those that attend weddings just to sink the champers and over indulge in the Canapés etc. are there for the wrong reasons.

Markovenchip · 26/12/2022 14:45

I think it's for the best to put the whole fiasco down to experience, and try to put it behind you, it's unlikely you'll visit them again, though I would be peeved if I had spent £50 on them, some things you just have to write off !........🙂

ortonym · 26/12/2022 15:30

Zax · 26/12/2022 14:27

Absolutely, some sense at last. Those that attend weddings just to sink the champers and over indulge in the Canapés etc. are there for the wrong reasons.

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"Sense". Coming from somebody who thought that the groom was paying for the food because the orders had gone into his bank account.
And to expect guests to pay for their own food after being invited back to their house is just downright rude and tightfisted. If the guests had been told beforehand of the setup, then that might have been more acceptable..

Original poster
TheShellBeach · 26/12/2022 15:50

sue20 · 26/12/2022 10:48

My understanding from the post was that the curry cost was covered by groom.

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No, it wasn't. That was literally the whole point of the thread - we were all asked to pay for our own curry.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheShellBeach · 26/12/2022 15:55

Zax · 26/12/2022 14:27

Absolutely, some sense at last. Those that attend weddings just to sink the champers and over indulge in the Canapés etc. are there for the wrong reasons.

Show quote history

Oh FGS. DH and I have attended low-key weddings and enjoyed them very much. We have also attended huge weddings where no expense was spared (by the hosts).

For those who asked why I bought an outfit - I wanted to! I think that women particularly like to get something new for a wedding. I do not begrudge that at all. I can wear it again (hopefully at a wedding where it is made clearer in advance what kind of reception guests can expect).

The bride and groom did not ask for specific sums of money - just asked for gift vouchers for a list of shops. We thought £50 was about right. I expect others gave less and possibly others gave more.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheShellBeach · 26/12/2022 15:56

If the guests had been told beforehand of the setup, then that might have been more acceptable

Exactly.

OP posts:
Ursuladevine · 26/12/2022 16:00

I remain intrigued why you and your dh would accept an invitation, but new outfit, spend £50 on gift, set aside the day for the wedding for a couple you have both met once years ago at a wedding.

What drew you to accept?

Delatron · 26/12/2022 16:06

sue20 · 26/12/2022 10:46

Sounds quite nice I’d probably go for same in the unlikely event I’d ever get married. The wedding and reception are for the happy couple to do as they wish not for them to put on an expensive stressful event for their friends and family.

You can do as you wish but it’s the height of bad manners to charge guests for food when you have invited them to a reception. And provide zero drinks. Just terrible hosting.

If people do wish to do something so crass at least warn upfront - ‘Please come and watch us get married, then back to ours where we’ll all chip in for a curry - well you will, we won’t..Sorry no drinks to be provided. Maybe BYO? We’d love a gift voucher as a present’

Sound good to you?

Jesus. Just awful.

OP - it’s not just the paying for the curry it’s that they didn’t have the basic manners to offer you a drink! I would have made my excuses and left.