Worst Wedding Reception Ever?

[TheShellBeach]

I am still trying to get my head round this one.

It was a friend's wedding last week and they happy couple invited twelve people to their reception.

After the ceremony (which was lovely) we went back to the couple's house.

There was no wedding cake. No drinks. We made ourselves cups of tea and coffee.

Then the groom handed out menus for the local curry house. Once we'd all picked what we wanted, he asked us to transfer the cost of our orders to his bank account, before he phoned up and placed the order.

After we'd eaten and tidied up, the newlyweds asked us to leave because they were tired.......................no speeches, no fun, no dancing, no music and NO FOOD provided.

AIBU to think this was the worst wedding reception ever?

I did, but one never knows the true position of a couple's struggles. There must be an underlying reason. Anyway, you were one of a privileged dozen who got an invite.

You're telling someone they should be grateful for having to pay for their own meal at somebody else's wedding? Are you insane?

What? You think it's okay to make guests pay for their own meals? You sound crazy

If you invite guests to your wedding then you are then required to think about your guests. You don’t have to spend thousands, no. But you can get married, if you just want to be married and keep it simple, with two people as your witnesses. No guests required. If you decide, however, that you want your extended family and friends to dress up, travel, attend your ceremony, and ask them to give you gifts - then you absolutely owe it to them to provide a nice time and make them comfortable. If you can’t afford to feed your guests a full meal then fine: just bake a big victoria sponge or something and make it clear on the invitations that the ceremony will be followed by tea and cake back at your house. That’s what normal people would do.

Honestly OP, it sounds like a terrible wedding. If you can’t afford to pay for takeaway for 12 people don’t have 12 guests or at least warn them you expect them to pay for a meal. The guests took time out of their lives to wish you well.
The Bride and groom are very rude and extremely mean.

I didn't, OP did. And the "privileged" 12 were there because others (including at least 1 of the parents) had turned it down.

I wouldn't mind that but would have liked the radio on in the background or some music on the tv

Must have been a sought after gig to have such a response reserve list. Happy Christmas to you.

This sounds fab - especially if they encouraged you to change into your scruffs for the curry arrival !

They should have paid the food bill tho - that was rubbish I agree.

Ok so not the usual run of the mill reception but it was how they wanted it to be & you have to respect that.

I do find it incredible that people have this set idea of how weddings should go, each person is individual & do things their own way that’s part of the reason we like them in the first place.

My grandma who is 102 has often told me about her wedding day. Book the day/afternoon off work, go to the church to get married and then back to the house for a cup of tea and some sandwiches.

Sounds like a combination of low funds and lack of planning, but I’d feel honored to be one of such a small number of guests.

I was thinking you were being BU
until I read the bit about buying your own curry.
how tight is that!

But being invited to any of the following would be fine

Wedding then cake/tea after
Wedding then all go home
Wedding then you are welcome to attend meal after, set menu costs x

All up front and you can decide to attend or not /eat first etc

Not be told you are invited to a reception then pay for it yourself! That incredibly rude as no one can decline at that stage.

I would probably been happy about some of it as most weddings involve standing around making small talk with people you hardly know. But as I hate curry, I would have resented paying for it!

This is just the sort of thing my nephew would organise, he is autistic and just doesn't understand "the done thing".

Don’t know why so many people are trying to justify this?! It’s weird as fuck!

I mean, it’s unusual to just go back to your home after your wedding, but to ask your guests to pay for their own dinner is shit.

YANBU OP.

MN is so contrary. I bet if you posted saying you were going to marry, invite only 12 guests, ask for vouchers and offer no refreshments other than tea/coffee, later letting them order their own takeaway you'd be told you're a CF. But no, many people apparently think this sounds great.

IMO a young or very hard up couple letting close friends and family it's BYOB and paying your way, fine. Asking near strangers to give up their day, requesting vouchers and providing no hospitality is just deeply bizarre.

If they only invited 12 people, and you’ve only met them once before, I’d keep your distance! 😆

Even though you've only been invited because so many others had turned it down? Some honour ( o piss off spellcheck, I'm English).

You could’ve protested or simply left at any point instead of bitching about it behind their backs after the fact.

Yes, I'm sure the happy couple would have loved that.

Throw a shit non-reception, expect guests to talk about it.

There's a weird assumption here, from some people, that being invited to a wedding is somehow a favour the couple are doing for the guests. I don't see it like that at all. People go to both expense and trouble to attend weddings. It's the couple's job to make sure they have a great time.

It's their wedding no? Theirs. It's better than spending thousands of pounds on a do just so people like op don't make shitty judgements like this. Good for them if that's what they wanted.

Yes. There is NO MIDDLE GROUND whatsoever between spending thousands on a wedding and making guests make their own cups of tea and purchase their own takeaway. None whatsoever. These are the only two options in life. 🙄