Worst Wedding Reception Ever?

[TheShellBeach]

I am still trying to get my head round this one.

It was a friend's wedding last week and they happy couple invited twelve people to their reception.

After the ceremony (which was lovely) we went back to the couple's house.

There was no wedding cake. No drinks. We made ourselves cups of tea and coffee.

Then the groom handed out menus for the local curry house. Once we'd all picked what we wanted, he asked us to transfer the cost of our orders to his bank account, before he phoned up and placed the order.

After we'd eaten and tidied up, the newlyweds asked us to leave because they were tired.......................no speeches, no fun, no dancing, no music and NO FOOD provided.

AIBU to think this was the worst wedding reception ever?

As a wedding planner I managed the wedding/reception on the day and watched a couple argue and then the bride punch the groom and break his nose at their reception. They announced they were splitting before stopping the reception and both leaving separately with family members.

I remember going to quite a big wedding, and the reception was in a good venue. The invitation said "Tea Dance" - we got a cup of tea, a couple of sandwiches and a small cake. I wish we'd had a curry! A group of us went out for a meal afterwards.

Asking guests to pay for food without prior warning is a bit cheeky. If they'd told you before hand itcwould ge ok. The rest is fine.

I'm off in May to a almost stranger to me's wedding.
Its DPs nephew. In 15 years I've met him a handful of times, I couldn't pick him out in a lineup with a gun to my head. I definitely couldn't tell you what the bride to be looks like.

And because there will now be questions, I'm going with partner who obviously knows nephew much better than me. I reckon its just timing why I dont know him better. I entered DPs life as nephew was hitting adulthood, nephew went away to university and lives away since, so not many chances to meet.
But I love a rare shindig and I've not been to many weddings.

😮blimey

@FlissyPaps think you might need to get a grip.

Families are weird @Ursuladevine

I caused a fall out when I didn't invite family I hadn't seen in 15+ yrs (or in some cases, even met) but they still expected a wedding invite. For context, we had a total of 35 guests.

A few years later my aunt took great glee in telling my mum that we weren't invited to my cousins wedding. I hadn't had any contact with the cousin since they were small so wouldn't even recognise them. However I suspect that had I declined based on not wanting to travel 200 miles to a wedding where I didn't know the bride or groom would have caused an even bigger fall out.

OMG! That poor woman.

Actually I hope the Daily Heil does pick this up , and the B&G see what a cheeky pair of fuckers most people think they see!

I'm looking back at this now and the bind boggles at how many think this is normal behaviour! Most of all, the couple had the cheek to ask for vouchers as presents, as well as not providing food or drink and asking for money for the take away.

It's extremely rude to host an event at your house and expect guests to pay for food and drink, unless you inform them in advance. I would say it's ok to ask people to bring something if you are also providing something, but you need to tell them beforehand. If you literally aren't going to provide either food or drink or entertainment of any sort then that's inhospitable and rude towards your guests. If you're on that much of a tight budget then best not to invite anyone. Even in these straitened times they could have spent £100 on some booze surely.

Went to a wedding last summer. We were served dog food on a plate, literally looked like something out my dogs bowl, however I bet my dog would have turned it down. None of the evening guests turned up, the disco was awful, no atmosphere, no one other than the bride, her children and her sister danced. Everyone was staying at the venue. By 10.30 everyone left for their rooms. The staff were happy to carry on until 1am but they decided it was pointless

In the OP’s scenario… both she and her husband only met the couple ONCE and a “wedding ages ago”

so kind of different to your scenario

I'd assume as the groom was the OPs husbands cousin 100 times removed that husband would have met him more than once in his lifetime. Otherwise why actually go to the wedding.

The OP states twice that both have met the couple ONCE at a wedding “ages ago”

hence me being more interested in the motivation of accepting the wedding invite, buying a new outfit and fascinating, spending £50 on a present, setting aside an entire day… for a couple that both of you have met once, briefly, ages ago.

but the Op scarpered before responding

I would be spiteful too if the reception was a takeaway curry that I had to pay for.

I agree . I had A low-key wedding we had A meal at A restaurant and we paid for all the guests.

Very mean and stingy behaviour. If you invite guests, you feed them (or at least make it clear what the deal is in advance).

I am not usually tight-fisted but I would have tried to swipe the gift voucher I had given back on my way out.

I’ve been to all sorts of weddings. Some huge flashy affairs with nearly 1,000 people (really!) down to the wedding I mentioned which was 5 of us plus bride and groom in their living room with a takeaway (though the bride and groom paid). No, the very small wedding was not normal but was genuinely one of the best weddings I’ve been too. We were expecting it though and were all very close to the bride and groom.

Your wedding reception can be whatever you want it to be. It doesn’t have to be in the traditional style and can still be a reception.

Your wedding reception can be whatever you want it to be. It doesn’t have to be in the traditional style and can still be a reception

no one is saying small weddings aren’t allowed, aren’t fun or aren’t worth celebrating. I’ve been to wonderful small budget weddings. What they are saying is- you don’t invite someone to a “reception” which has at least a minimal expectation of refreshments and then ask people to pay for their own takeaways. That’s rude. Would it be ok for the guests to ask the hosts to pay for their own wedding gift? After all if we are being conscious of those on a budget the same applies to guests surely?

@LolaMoon - The poster I was responding to said that having friends round for a curry wasn’t a reception and that anyone saying it was probably hadn’t been to a wedding.

It’s stingy not paying. I feel the same about weddings with paid bars too but these seem pretty acceptable 🤷‍♀️

Your wedding reception can be whatever you want it to be.

And if you want it to be totally shit, have everyone come back to yours only to be given nothing at all and told to give you money for the takeaway.

www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/20855580/worst-wedding-reception-ever-no-drink-dinner-music/amp/

Exactly- do it if you want but expect others to think its shit and dont kid yourself that your wedding was some kind of alternative, cutesy, intimate, norm swerving marvel when in reality it was just....shit.

Sounds bloody shit to me. But then I don't belong on Mumsnet because I love a big, flashy wedding with fantastic food, loads of free booze in a very extravagant venue. I especially like children free weddings too which makes me the anti Christ, I know.