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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I'm in bed crying..

87 replies

leopardprincess · 22/12/2022 10:07

I had booked to take my little boy to a Santa sleigh ride day today. He hasn't been since before lockdown and is so excited.

I've come down with flu. I've never felt so unwell in my life. I hurt all over, I'm freezing, I'm being sick.

My dads having to take him now as I'm just too unwell. I'm in bed crying because I'm missing it and I feel so unwell. It's 3 days before Christmas for gods sake.

Am I a pathetic excuse for a mother?

OP posts:

MolliciousIntent · 22/12/2022 10:09

...no? You're sick. It happens. This is quite a startling overreaction, do you think maybe being unwell is making you more sensitive to things or is there perhaps something else going on mental health wise?

pastypirate · 22/12/2022 10:09

I've had that flu and I'm crying at everything too

RegularNameChangerVersion21 · 22/12/2022 10:09

Of course you're not a bad mum OP. It's amazing your little one will still get to go, he won't miss out at all. It absolutely sucks being ill so close to Christmas but it sounds like you have family about to make sure your little guy still has an amazing time. You're bound to feel emotional and crap when you're in bed sick but you're doing an amazing job. This won't feel as bad in a week's time!

fancyacuppatea · 22/12/2022 10:10

He'll have a fabulous time with his Grandad.
You just need to rest, plenty of fluids, paracetomol and more rest.
You can't help being ill.
💐

AutumnCrow · 22/12/2022 10:10

Don’t be daft. You can’t help having flu and you’ve arranged for your dad to take your DC instead. You’ve done your best, which is fine.

Karwomannghia · 22/12/2022 10:11

Oh you poor thing. At least he still gets to go. This flu sounds horrendous but you need to rest.

Beachsidesunset · 22/12/2022 10:13

I've just got back from hospital after having an organ removed. It's going to be a pared-down Christmas in this house. Sympathy, OP. Hope you're feeling better soon

edwinbear · 22/12/2022 10:14

Absolutely not a crap mum. A disappointed and sick mum, yes, but not a crap one. You’ve arranged things so he still gets to go and will be excited to tell you all about it when he gets home.

I had a similar bug a couple of weeks ago, I was WFH and when DH and DC walked in the door from school/work, I burst into tears I felt so ill. I’m not a crier, I’m not sure DC have ever seen me cry, but I felt so, so ill. I was much better after 2-3 days. Hopefully you’ll be on the mend by Christmas.

Latenightreader · 22/12/2022 10:15

Oh I can feel your disappointment. Flu can do strange things to your emotions and I remember weeping over really silly things when I had it a few years ago. It is really sad to miss something when your child is so excited, but you need to look after yourself, sleep, and hopefully you will be on the mend soon.

Montague22 · 22/12/2022 10:17

No not at all.
Stay in bed, don’t fight it or it will drag on. There’s ‘12 days’ of Christmas. If you manage a few good ones it’s fine. Plan something nice for Easter, it’s not so far away.

Brightstarowl · 22/12/2022 10:21

Oh come on love, give yourself a break will you?

Your little fella isn't missing out on anything, he will have a lovely time with his Grandad.

Hope you get well again in time for Christmas. 💐

BeautifulWar · 22/12/2022 10:24

Oh, poor you! I'd probably cry too, I'm often more emotional when I'm really unwell.

💐

StrawberryPot · 22/12/2022 10:26

You organised an experience for your little boy which he will love. He's still going, albeit with your dad. Hardly a parenting failure on your part!

As a child (and as an adult) I always found the period just after Xmas really flat. Could you console yourself with planning one or two fun activities to do with your ds when you're feeling better?

In the meantime, the most important thing you can do is focus on looking after yourself. Don't stress about things beyond your control

lollipoprainbow · 22/12/2022 10:36

From your first two paragraphs I thought you were going to say your little boy was going to miss out on the Santa thing. Your dad has taken him so it's fine !!

Sunshineandflipflops · 22/12/2022 11:10

Op, your little one will have a lovely time with his grandad and you will get some much needed rest.

A similar thing happened years ago when my two were younger. We were taking them somewhere just before Xmas (can't even remember where now, although at the time it seemed so important) and I came down with the flu/a horrible virus thing and just couldn't go. I also got upset but their dad took them and they had a great time.

booklovingmum · 22/12/2022 11:14

Oh OP you sound like a wonderful mum! I'm sorry that illness has struck and ruined this for you.

I hate saying "at least" but at least your little boy is still going to have a lovely experience thanks to you whether you take him or not.

Ask for lots of pictures and videos and hopefully you feel better before Sunday to enjoy Christmas with your little one ❤️

Wishing you a speedy recovery.

My DP has been in bed all week with it, and I've had 2 poorly kids to sort all week, and I don't resent him at all, honest 😉

piglet81 · 22/12/2022 11:16

Poor you! Cup of tea, paracetamol and off to bed with you - sleep is the best medicine. How wonderful that you have a nice dad who will help out. Hope you feel better soon.

Crackof · 22/12/2022 11:19

"a pathetic excuse for a mother"?

Good grief.

Mumteedum · 22/12/2022 11:24

Flu makes you feel depressed. It sucks that you missed out but your little one hasn't which is something.

Rest up and get better and you'll soon have other nice times to look forward to.

Baconand · 22/12/2022 11:27

We’ve all been ill with that and have missed all our Christmas activities so far. It is what it is, we couldn’t go. I’m gutted as it’s been a particularly hard year but I am focusing on being well by Saturday to enjoy what is left.

I have had a bloody big cry though.

MrsMurphyIWish · 22/12/2022 11:27

Crackof · 22/12/2022 11:19

"a pathetic excuse for a mother"?

Good grief.

No need to be so mean, we all feel sorry for ourselves, especially when ill.

I’ve also had a cry today. I have Covid and feel awful. Two years ago we didn’t have Xmas as Boris “cancelled it”, last year my children had Covid so we were is isolation and now this year I have it. I know isolation is mandatory now but I feel so rubbish. I had plans for DC to make up for their isolation last year and I can’t move off the sofa.

Here’s hoping we’re all well for Xmas dinner!

MrsMurphyIWish · 22/12/2022 11:28

*isn’t

Mariposista · 22/12/2022 11:29

Of course you are not a bad mother. You are doing the right thing, resting now so that you can be up and about on Christmas Day, which is much more important, and you will see your little boy open his stocking and enjoy Christmas lunch with the family. Relax!

Peasepuddingbloodycold · 22/12/2022 11:29

Crackof · 22/12/2022 11:19

"a pathetic excuse for a mother"?

Good grief.

That was my first thought too. So I’m glad I read through everyone else’s post first to see a far more empathetic and insightful perspective.

ColdHandsHotHead · 22/12/2022 11:34

Your little one is still getting to see Father Christmas, and if you're lucky you'll be feeling a bit better on Christmas Day.

Flu is shitty. The last time I had it, I was 21 and I didn't move for three days.

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