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AIBU?

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Original poster

I'm in bed crying..

87 replies

leopardprincess · 22/12/2022 10:07

I had booked to take my little boy to a Santa sleigh ride day today. He hasn't been since before lockdown and is so excited.

I've come down with flu. I've never felt so unwell in my life. I hurt all over, I'm freezing, I'm being sick.

My dads having to take him now as I'm just too unwell. I'm in bed crying because I'm missing it and I feel so unwell. It's 3 days before Christmas for gods sake.

Am I a pathetic excuse for a mother?

OP posts:
DarkKarmaIlama · 22/12/2022 12:33

OP I could have written your post. I’ve cried in bed too with flu. It’s fucking shit but even shitter so close to Christmas. Rest up lovely 💐.

BCBird · 22/12/2022 12:33

You are not being pathetic . The silver lining is your child gets to go with grandpa. U concentrate on being kind to urself.

mast0650 · 22/12/2022 12:34

How lovely that he gets to go with his Grandad. Hopefully they will have a really special time together. Get well soon.

AllOfThemWitches · 22/12/2022 12:35

You're very lucky you have family who can step in.

diamondpony80 · 22/12/2022 12:35

I’m just getting over that flu, it’s bad. I could barely walk from one end to the room to the other. Freezing cold one minute and sweating the next. I know it’s disappointing that you’re missing this, but just hope that you’ll be better in time to enjoy Christmas Day, which is the main event for kids anyway.

emotionallyfragile · 22/12/2022 12:37

I HATE this time of year and all the sad memories. I miss my son way too much.

PupInAPram · 22/12/2022 12:37

MolliciousIntent · 22/12/2022 10:09

...no? You're sick. It happens. This is quite a startling overreaction, do you think maybe being unwell is making you more sensitive to things or is there perhaps something else going on mental health wise?

Did you have your empathy amputated?

Mrstumbletap · 22/12/2022 12:40

If it helps your son will not remember the sleigh ride with Santa at all.

I asked my nearly 10 year old if he remembers going to Lapland years ago and meeting Father Christmas and he doesn't! Pretty much all lovely experiences before the age of 6 are forgotten.

Traumatic ones are sometimes remembered, but the nice ones, they haven't got a clue!

Rest up, that's what you need.

Summer2424 · 22/12/2022 12:42

Hi @leopardprincess no please don't think that at all x

ProfYaffle · 22/12/2022 12:45

Mrstumbletap · 22/12/2022 12:40

If it helps your son will not remember the sleigh ride with Santa at all.

I asked my nearly 10 year old if he remembers going to Lapland years ago and meeting Father Christmas and he doesn't! Pretty much all lovely experiences before the age of 6 are forgotten.

Traumatic ones are sometimes remembered, but the nice ones, they haven't got a clue!

Rest up, that's what you need.

Agree with this. We had a fabulous Santa visit one year, it was Narnia themed with a real wardrobe you climbed through, walked through various life sized themed displays, met the Queen, got turkish delight etc etc.

DC are 18 and 15 now. I commented on the visit when unpacking turkish delight from the Xmas hamper the other day - blank faces all round! They don't remember any of it Confused

LuckySantangelo35 · 22/12/2022 12:46

MrsMurphyIWish · 22/12/2022 11:27

No need to be so mean, we all feel sorry for ourselves, especially when ill.

I’ve also had a cry today. I have Covid and feel awful. Two years ago we didn’t have Xmas as Boris “cancelled it”, last year my children had Covid so we were is isolation and now this year I have it. I know isolation is mandatory now but I feel so rubbish. I had plans for DC to make up for their isolation last year and I can’t move off the sofa.

Here’s hoping we’re all well for Xmas dinner!

Show quote history

@MrsMurphyIWish

its not her feeling sorry for herself though is it? That would be fine.

Its her being self critical and self attacking - a terrible mother for being ill. That’s not ok.

Where do you women get these messages about motherhood??

emotionallyfragile · 22/12/2022 12:48

The point is there will be other times for you to enjoy with your son.
Some of us have lost that forever.
If it wasn't for my other children I wouldn't be here now.
I'm absolutely breaking my heart (and I'm really unwell too). Life is unbelievably cruel, but please just try to be thankful for what you have.

asblindasabat · 22/12/2022 12:49

No, you can’t help it that you got sick. It’s unfortunate but that’s just life sometimes.

At least he still got to go, and there’s always next year. Hope you feel better soon.

RedHelenB · 22/12/2022 12:49

leopardprincess · 22/12/2022 10:07

I had booked to take my little boy to a Santa sleigh ride day today. He hasn't been since before lockdown and is so excited.

I've come down with flu. I've never felt so unwell in my life. I hurt all over, I'm freezing, I'm being sick.

My dads having to take him now as I'm just too unwell. I'm in bed crying because I'm missing it and I feel so unwell. It's 3 days before Christmas for gods sake.

Am I a pathetic excuse for a mother?

Your little boy hasn't missed out and will be excited to tell you about it . Hope you feel better for Christmas day.

Sugarcube84 · 22/12/2022 12:52

At least he’s still going, look at the positives. We had to cancel as we are both too I’ll to take our ds so he’s had to miss it this year

Benjispruce4 · 22/12/2022 12:53

But he gets to go with his grandad and that’s great. Meanwhile, you concentrate on resting and getting as well as you can for Christmas. It’s life!

purpledalmation · 22/12/2022 12:54

You're sick. So much illness (me too) at present ruining so many aspects of Christmas ☹️. You'll get lots of lovely photos, and there's always next year. Just sleep and get better.

Benjispruce4 · 22/12/2022 12:55

I say that from my bed as can’t stop coughing so no sleep! Have had to cancel this evening’s meal with friends.

mammy2018 · 22/12/2022 12:57

This flu is awful we all caught it last week and still have lingering symptoms. Just rest up, your little one will still have fun. The more rest you have now the better you will feel Christmas Day. Sending love, please don't be so hard on yourself c

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 22/12/2022 12:57

Sorry you are feeling so ill. Rest and get better!

Your son will have fun and remember that. (Since it is so exciting, he probably won't even remember that you weren't actually there with him.) Next year - perhaps you'll all make it!

Tilllly · 22/12/2022 12:58

Make sure your dad takes lots of photos for you!
And concentrate on resting, drinking water and feeling better as soon as possible

Then plan something extra special next year

RedRobyn2021 · 22/12/2022 12:59

I'm sorry you're so poorly. I've been ill a lot the last few weeks and I've cried quite a bit. Concentrate on looking after yourself, the sooner you feel better and the sooner you can enjoy other Christmassy traditions xxx

Blocked · 22/12/2022 13:00

Mrstumbletap · 22/12/2022 12:40

If it helps your son will not remember the sleigh ride with Santa at all.

I asked my nearly 10 year old if he remembers going to Lapland years ago and meeting Father Christmas and he doesn't! Pretty much all lovely experiences before the age of 6 are forgotten.

Traumatic ones are sometimes remembered, but the nice ones, they haven't got a clue!

Rest up, that's what you need.

Yep. And I don't know about the rest of you but I'd have been delighted to get a run to the shop at this time of year when I was a child never mind Santa's sleigh! We beat ourselves up too much sometimes trying to take our children to all these experiences. Being at home for Christmas and all that comes with it is an experience in itself. Take care OP and have lots of lovely time together at home watching Christmas movies with snacks...that's what you both will really benefit from x

Benjispruce4 · 22/12/2022 13:03

Well said @Blocked

DaughterOfPsychiatrist · 22/12/2022 13:14

I once had a UTI that made me so depressed I thought I’d be better off dead.

it was genuinely just a symptom of the infection and as that physically cleared, so did my emotional misery.

Perhaps something similar is happening with you?

Good that your son got to on his day out. Try and sleep!