To think buying a teacher gift but not a TA one is a dick move?

[Wannakisstheteacher]

Last day of school today. Standing waiting for the gates to open and see lots of children holding gift bags etc. One child showing the other children all the things she has for the teacher but doesn’t mention the TA. Another parent says she’s bought in chocolates for the teacher but again nothing for the TA - seems like the common theme from general chat.

AIBU to think it’s really low to bring in something for the teacher but nothing for the TA? They are so incredibly badly paid and have to do so much more than ever before so to bring in a full bag of stuff for the teacher but not even a small box of chocolates for the TA just seems like a dick move.

There are a group of TAs who work with each year group at my DC’s primary school - I send a teacher gift (x 2 as they job share) plus 2 cards and small gifts (large tube of smarties size) to the TAs my DC gives me the names of, but I know there must be more she sees for certain activities. So currently that’s 4 gifts per kid (was x 2 when both in were in primary school) for Xmas and year end (plus after school club) but maybe it’s still frowned on that some are left out so am not giving enough? I’d assume there would be some sort of sharing out so dinner ladies, office staff and other TAs etc who aren’t as visible as they don’t see parents as much don’t get left out but I’ve always wondered how that works with gift vouchers.

And I admit I do look round the playground and wonder why people who earn less than teachers feel they have to dig deep for Xmas and to contribute to gift vouchers for teachers at the end of the year to the total value of £100-£300. And apparently should do the same for all TAs too, or be seen as rude and ungrateful. Only happens in primary though - no pressure to demonstrate gratitude with cash in secondary, why is that?

Of course I value what teachers, TAs and all school staff do for the children. Hugely, and I thank them in person and tell them how much they are appreciated. I just don’t get the gift thing, it seems really odd to me, especially at the moment when lots of families are struggling.

It's never judged. Getting a gift never ever affects how I treat children or think of them/their family. Please don't give it another thought!

How would you like parents to ‘register the existence’ of every member of staff at their kid’s school, though? Especially if you’re saying you don’t expect it to be through gift-giving - is it that people should be sending a handwritten card of appreciation to every individual teacher, TA, member of office staff, midday supervisor, kitchen staff, janitor, cleaner etc?

Don't buy for either.
They are doing a job that they are paid for, not going above and beyond.

Plus, a TA knows the salary when they take the job on, so rather disingenuous to moan about poor pay later down the line.

Our school always does a group gift too. I organised the collection this year and we had £275. We gave chocolates and wine to the teacher and both TAs. The teacher also got £100 voucher and the TAs £50 vouchers. Each class gives £15 from the collection to a separate pot which is used to buy gifts for the 11 non-teaching staff.

Well they could start by not putting ion mumsnet that they don't influence their child at all.

Well aren't you a treat

Benefit of being in an Indian area. Teaching is something a lot of working mums decide to go into because it’s perceived as more family friendly / acceptable. So there are always a lot of well educated & fairly wealthy professionals wanting to make the jump into teaching. We even have fully qualified Indian teachers as TAs and they are bloody amazing - they choose not to requalify here for various reasons but love teaching and it shows.

@RunLolaRun102 sounds amazing x