To think buying a teacher gift but not a TA one is a dick move?

[Wannakisstheteacher]

Last day of school today. Standing waiting for the gates to open and see lots of children holding gift bags etc. One child showing the other children all the things she has for the teacher but doesn’t mention the TA. Another parent says she’s bought in chocolates for the teacher but again nothing for the TA - seems like the common theme from general chat.

AIBU to think it’s really low to bring in something for the teacher but nothing for the TA? They are so incredibly badly paid and have to do so much more than ever before so to bring in a full bag of stuff for the teacher but not even a small box of chocolates for the TA just seems like a dick move.

It's not judged. What teachers appreciate is a paper picture the child has made of them and a handwritten card from parent saying thank you for how their child has been helped. That means much more than a pricey gift.

@SleepingStandingUp I don't think anything much would change for my children- funnily enough when I was at school (in an extremely deprived area) we had bigger classes and no TAs and the sky didn't fall down. I have nothing against TAs and as I said in my previous post, buy equal gifts for teachers / TAs but I think the teachers impact my kids education more than the TA and frankly don't think this is even controversial - it's mine / my kids experience. Others experiences may vary 😉

I'm a primary teacher (one subject) not in the UK. I am very happy that there is not a culture of giving teachers Christmas presents here. Itvis ridiculous. I don't need presents. I do appreciate a personal card or a note from children as and when a child wants to give one (not necessarilyat Christmas).
At the school where I work at the moment I don't get a special thank you (card or present) from the class going up to high school at the end of the school year. I would appreciate this particularly as I teach them for 4 years.

I know they do considerably less than a classroom teacher in terms of responsibility, output and hours on the job!

Individual hand written cards for whomever your child wants. This will generally be the teacher and the TA.

If you can and want to, £5 box of biscuits or chocolates for the staff room, clearly labelled 'for all the staff at XXX, Merry Christmas'.

Minimal waste, minimal expense, kids and teaching staff all happy

It’s weird, in my daughters primary school the teachers gave the kids presents. Chocolates, little key rings etc, it was a private school. But it was the other way round, it was the children who got gifts. Not the adults.

I think this whole thing has got quite entitled and grabby now and can’t believe how adults behave

That is also my experience. All my schools (20 years ago) were in deprived inner city areas and we didn’t have a single TA in any of my classes throughout First, Middle and Secondary! My children in more recent years didn’t have TAs and if they did they didn’t mention them, nor did I see them in parents evenings.

My DD has two teachers (job share) plus one full day with a third teacher to cover PPA.
There are three TAs connected to the class, one is a 1:1 and always used as such (significant difficulties of the child concerned mean she really is 1:1, all the time) and then another two part time TAs.
DD is one of the oldest in a mixed year class, bright, hardworking, well behaved. The TAs who aren't 1:1 are mainly used to support those with lower academic ability. DD has read to a TA four times over the winter term - that's the entirety of her contact with them.
In previous years where it has been 1 teacher and 1 TA I have bought equal (and decent) gifts for both. This year, no way. The two main teachers and the PPA cover teacher got a cheap bottle of mulled wine each, that's all.

It's all very well saying TAs and LSAs could earn more in a supermarket but that would also come with the obligation to, potentially, work unsociable hours, weekends, of course school holidays, Xmas, new year, mothers day, Easter. Not to mention a lot of supermarket work is heavylifting and repetitive so you're prone to injury - the light duties are usually given to long serving employees who can't do the heavy stuff because they've already got a work related long term injury. I've yet to see a mass migration of school staff to supermarkets - perhaps a few until they see the hours/working conditions.

It depends on the TA. If it was a TA who was assigned to one kid or a group of lower ability kids and didn't have much to do with mine then no I wouldn't buy anything. In my daughter's school, the class has 1 main teacher, 1 assistant teacher and 2 TAs who are in there most of the time. We all chip in to buy vouchers and flowers for them but we do tend to allocate more of the pot to the main teacher.

I don't buy gifts for the teachers really although my DS did pick a biscuit pack each for them from the bakery at end of year (something they could dump in the break room if they dont want and have no guilt of disposing of like charity shopping 6 'greatest teacher' mugs).

If I give something its usually class room supplies as thats what my teacher friends always seem to want at work (saves them money as they usually have to buy their own stuff) and they get 'proper' birthday/xmas etc... gifts from friends and family that know them and their likes not parents they barely know them and buy whatever teacher themed tat the Card Shop has in.

The kids hate the TA in their year - always say how strict and mean she is. They LOVE the teachers

I think this whole thing has got quite entitled and grabby now and can’t believe how adults behave.

If you read the million and one MN threads about it, you won't find one teacher being 'grabby and entitled'. You'll find them saying over and over again that they don't expect gifts, don't really want them, appreciate a card if anything, and really wish that parents wouldn't feel obliged to spend their money. Do you have any examples of this entitled behaviour?

Not sure why anyone does anything other than a gift card tbh. This year my daughter is in nursery and I bought all 4 nursery teachers a £10 Costa giftcard with a card and decoration she made. I know they really appreciate the chance to have a little treat and means they can chose the items themselves rather than specific choc or wine.

I really appreciate the work they put in and the fact they are low paid.

I will continue to do the same 1for her teacher and TAs next year. I would never just give to one. I usually hand in a box of chocs/biscuits for the staff room too as I know there are other behind the scene office workers that probably never get anything.

This is why i get nothing at Christmas. At our school each child interacts with at least 3 TAs plus the teacher so I'd be buying 8 gifts!

We always buy a whole class gift for both the teacher and the TAs. Vouchers usually. Every child is included even if parents don’t/ can’t donate.

That's £40! Great that you can afford to do that but a lot of people can't.

I agree. My daughter has a one to one, as do two others. Then there are the main teacher and teaching assistant. I got everyone a gift because I'd have felt bad leaving any out. A reasonably priced gift too, despite not having much money as a full time student and single mum. Then I noticed lots of people had got a single box of sweets between all so I'm really glad i made the decision now to be honest.

I always get something for the TA as they always seem to help my kid out.
If you can afford it I think you should.

They might have their reasons for all you know. I would hope teachers have enough sense to share what they have if the TAs genuinely aren't recognised by parents. You are happy with your decision about presents , dont worry about what others are doing

There were TAs back in the 1970s. I think there were less of them though and they were not assigned to a single class like they are now- I remember in the infants there was a TA that came to our class a couple of times to week to read with us, and in the juniors the struggling kids went out once a day for 'remedial lessons' with a TA.

However, in those days, special needs children were all at special schools, nobody read with us beyond age 6, everybody did exactly the same work- facing forwards, no differentiation, no booster groups, no baking, minimal art and craft and DT, nobody sorted out friendship and bullying issues, nobody helped if you were stuck with your maths, nobody kept you back from assembly to go through something you struggled with the previous day etc.

I'm a TA and am assigned mainly to one class. I don't expect anything at but do appreciate all cards and gifts I'm given
I have a different impact on the children I work with than a teacher, but still important and I assist all in lots of ways.
I do all first aid.
I decide if a child is too unwell to stay in school.
I administrator all medication.
I help children who are struggling to cope in the classroom environment (believe me if these are supported everyone else is able to learn better)
I run dyslexic interventions daily.(planning and marking and monitor progress)
I support children with bereavement.
I run sensory interventions.
I listen to why they are upset and help sort out any problems.
I feed those who come to school and have not eaten.
I do displays so the classroom is an interesting place to be.
I tie laces and ties, reunite children with jumpers, bags and other lost items
I open snacks.
I report safeguarding concerns.
I look after the teacher when they need someone to turn to
I remove and restrain violent children so they don't hurt your child ( and do it in a way that calms them down and helps them to feel safe and be safe to re enter class)
I play games at break with those who haven't anyone to play with that day.
I work to stretch the higher ability kids somedays, other days I re teach the lesson at a slower pace for those struggling.
I clean vomit and blood up when needed
I teach the whole class if the teacher is sick or in a meeting, when parents meet with the teacher in school time I'm teaching the kids.
TA's matter just ask teachers

Well you should do unless you're getting paid for those extra hours.

This is why I send in a big bag of goodies for the staff room as there’s many people that help my son during the day, including the office staff, cleaners and mid day staff
This year I sent crackers, cheeses and meats, last year it was sweet stuff

According to google there's no rule about receiving gifts for teachers- although some schools may decide to implement their own policy for this.