To think buying a teacher gift but not a TA one is a dick move?

[Wannakisstheteacher]

Last day of school today. Standing waiting for the gates to open and see lots of children holding gift bags etc. One child showing the other children all the things she has for the teacher but doesn’t mention the TA. Another parent says she’s bought in chocolates for the teacher but again nothing for the TA - seems like the common theme from general chat.

AIBU to think it’s really low to bring in something for the teacher but nothing for the TA? They are so incredibly badly paid and have to do so much more than ever before so to bring in a full bag of stuff for the teacher but not even a small box of chocolates for the TA just seems like a dick move.

This year a bought a small gift for the class teacher. My DC doesn’t have a fixed TA to their class (Y2) and I’ve never actually seen the TA’s when they are in, my DC doesn’t ever mention the TA’s tbh.

In contrast to this when in reception they had a fixed TA and DC mentioned them at home. We saw the TA on drop off and pick up etc. that year I bought for both.

I used to be a TA myself - teachers have far more work IMO however sometimes it is the TA that develops better relationships with certain children maybe SEN or more sensitive children. Some children do not require lots of support from a TA especially as they move up the years at primary so won’t have much interaction with TA’s.

I was never offended when I didn’t receive presents from parents and actually the children who needed more help from the TA were the ones who bought the presents in - which makes sense.

DS's Yr 3 class has a main class teacher, a second class teacher who's deputy head, a TA who's technically my sons 121 but she gets shared and a second ful like TA. Equal presents all round.

Just asked my DD, shes a student teacher, and said, herself, the TA and the teacher all receive equal gifts from the DC, so not all schools are the same. :)

But then you are getting into very complicated and time consuming tax situations. Please don't!

I think you will find that they do mark, they do plan (for certain groups) and they provide a lot of pastoral support too. All at an extremely low wage.

As a TA, not receiving a gift wouldn't bother me, but attitudes like this did. A lot. I am surprised I lasted 6 months to be honest.

Also, when working as a supply teacher (across many schools) I have always found the TA’s to be so helpful and hands on, great rapports with the kids and it is so unfair to say they don’t have an impact on children’s schooling because they have a huge impact.

I don't understand this idea that we need to buy gifts for people to make them feel valued. Surely there are other ways, and not just at Christmas/end of year.

I can't believe the amount of people saying that they would like a gift to feel acknowledged. I am a teacher and I expect no gifts from anyone.

You don't need to pay tax on a gift unless it is a very significant amount.

DS1 has a job share, so two teachers, two TAs and a student teacher. I got his two teachers a gift and then chocs and bsicuits and a card for the other three.

Didnt occur to me I was being mean not spending the same on all of them. That is 5 gifts!

Also it can happen the other way round a while ago, My DD previously worked at a school as a TA and had a small group of SEN DC assigned to her, they had a special bond with her, the parents were grateful and showed it at Christmas and again when she left to train to be a teacher. I think some parents are very aware and appreciative of the role TAs play in school, especially when their DC speak repeatedly and happily about them at the end of the day. My DC now regularly babysits for one of the DC she used to work with as a TA.

Unless the child has a relationship with the ta why would they?

I honestly dont know what it is now, but the last time I did know, it was if gifts added up to a value of over £60 in a financial year

I agree with you completely! All TAs deserve recognition. You all do amazing jobs. My children are primary age, the TAs do so much for them! I also think TA deserve much more than they are paid.

Tbh when I was a HLTA, the gifting made me feel overwhelmed and awkward.

I've kept all the beautiful cards though 😍

Gifts aside, to say a TA has no impact on your children’s schooling I find hard to believe unless there is no TA in your child’s class.
It is an insulting thing to say.

The ta works with all children in a class not just some
Sometimes they take the class for a bit.

Not everyone has money to splurge on both the TA and teacher, some classes also have more than one TA. Some parents more than one child so this could end up being 6 or even 9 gifts compared to the 2-3 they’d otherwise have to purchase.

I don’t buy teachers Christmas gifts but do buy end of year gifts and I only ever buy for the teacher. This is largely because the TA’s have very little contact with my DC (most tend to spend time with the SEN children) but also because at one point I had 3 DC in primary and I couldn’t afford a gift for 9 members of staff.

Also to add, I've always bought the teacher and TAs the same presents.

But then how would you raise money for charity? You didn't think that one through did you!

This couldn’t be put any better. They are an integral part of the school and education system. Underpaid and undervalued.
I couldn’t do my job without them. They not only support our children but teachers too.

On the gift front, I don’t think anyone should feel any pressure at all. I can’t speak for anyone but I certainly don’t expect a gift for teaching your child, working with children is a gift in itself. Trusting me each day with your most precious being is my gift.

In all my years of teaching the things I have been given and valued the most, often bringing a year to my eye, are cards. Handmade cards by children with funny pictures or sweet notes. Notes from grateful parents who have been amazed at their child’s progress or happy they are enjoying school so much. I have every single one of these in a folder in my desk at home. Whenever work is hard and I’m struggling I read them to remind me of exactly why I do this job.

Oh my word you think a TA has no impact on your child's schooling!? That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read on here. Having said that, I know very well that neither teachers nor TAs expect to receive gifts. Most of them don't want families to spend on them, especially during these financially stressful times.

Doesn't mean every child has formed a relationship with the ta. They may also be a terrible ta or useless. Some tas are great others absolutely not

I used to give the same gift I got for doing my job.

I have a friend who is a supply teacher she says it’s great she goes in and the TA does everything so yes they should get something

To clarify at our school each class does have a dedicated TA, and no they don’t just work with “lower ability” children 🙄It’s not even about the actual gift, it’s about sending your child in with a gift for one person who is in the class full time and completely ignoring the other person. I just think it sends the message that you value one but not the other. And to the poster asking if I’d like 30 identical £5 gifts… yes, when they are the red Lindt chocolate balls I’d be thrilled with 30 😁

I really don't understand this individual gifting, surely it's just given cheap tat. Our class gave together, so we gave all our class TAs vouchers; slightly less than for teachers as realistically they do fewer hours, plus small gifts for support staff. Realistically, it's hard even across a class of 30 to amass enough cash for all support staff in the school.