To ask you to tel me all the shit things about having a dog?

[ProserpinaProserpina]

Two preschool DCs, small house, large garden. I’m desperate for a dog. DH works from home in a workshop in the garden. Dog would spend most of the day with him. We’ve both had dogs before and live an active, outdoorsy lifestyle. I can’t think of any occasions that we go out to anywhere that a dog couldn’t come, and there is very rarely not someone home. I work 3 days per week but like I say, husband is around. I’m happy to do evening walks as required, dog could have the run of the garden all day every day, and DH has a very flexible (read: easy) schedule which would allow the dog to be walked as much as needed.

DH is happy with whatever and does absolutely adore dogs but is more pragmatic than me. He’s very much of the ‘if you want a dog, we’ll get one but it won’t be easy’ attitude which I’m a bit worried might bite me on that arse when things are difficult.

So please, tell me all the shit things about having a dog and why it’s a terrible idea to have a dog and children so that I can make a truly informed decision (ie. Not do it).

What breed of dog are you thinking. This will hugely effect their issues or benefits to your family. As it stands it sounds perfect to have a dog in

Sounds as if it's the ideal set up for a dog to me. 😊

The negatives are that of course puppies are not easy, but that stage doesn't last forever (although can feel like it does!😆).

There will be expense of course for dog food (good quality), leads,collar, beds, bowls, insurance, vaccinations and a good trustworthy kennel should you go away without the dog (which can make a holiday quite expensive). A crate or a puppy pen too so the pup has an area to sleep & be safe when you can't watch them.

I think that there will be days you are so pleased you got a dog and wonder if you could love him/her more... and days when you question why on earth you thought it would be good idea & why the hell did no one stop you😂.
Just make sure you research what breed would suit your family best, and to find a good reputable breeder. It may seem obvious, but often people don't & it is easy to get carried away when you see a litter of cute pups.

Speak to owners, clubs and breeders about the dog breed you are considering to make sure you have all the details of personality, breed traits & to find whether the dog would suit your family, and you him/her.
When you find a breeder ask if the dogs are health tested etc. There are a LOT of crap breeders out there sadly, and it really is worth waiting for a pup from the right person. Champdogs website can be helpful as it lists most breeds, a little about them and some breeders etc.

They'll spend the first six months jumping and biting at the children
They don't want to be on their own
They need to be walked in all weathers
They don't sleep all day
You can't leave anything on the floor ever again

I will prefrace mine with, I love my dog and would quite literally die for her but having her is sometimes a challenge:

*days out are a nightmare to negotiate. If i am out more than 4-5 hours I need dog care.

• same for holidays
• my dog is very attached (not separation anxiety, its just me and her and she has the run of the house) so when she goes to other people its harder for them as she likes to sleep on sofas and beds and follow you to the loo
• haircuts for dogs are expensive and hard to get round here -( £48 every six weeks here!) *puppies chew and pee and are so demanding. I wouldn’t have a puppy again. I’m 2.5 years in and she still ruins my socks. *boarding is hard to find, especially for home from home situs. I havent found one yet and it means I am limited with holidays etc. plus the dog now would struggle to settle in one. *if you have any kind of anxiety prepare to amplify. I worry about my dog all the time 🤣🤣 *cleaning dog shit never stops being grim. I also never considered that i would have to wipe my dog’s arse every once in a while. *if your dog sleeps on your bed, no bed will be big enough, no matter the dog size.

In fact the dog and preschooler for me is a no go. It's hard to train the dog, even harder to train the children how to be around a dog.
You only need to look at the doghouse board to see all the stories re stress of dogs and children.
Dogs end up biting children that don't respect their space over and over again.

They are absolutely wonderful but I would wait until children are a few years older.

A lot of these negative points are specific to certain breeds, possibly because they are bred for an outdoor job, not domestic life.

My shiba inu arrived house trained at 12 weeks, barely barks, only chews "her" things (bed/basket), can be left alone all day (although we rarely would) and is very gentle with young DC, eg licks the baby's fingers & face without biting (icky but ultimately harmless).

Yes, she was expensive but we spend less on activities now that walking her is a mainstay of our routine. OP, I say go for it, just think carefully about the breed characteristics and invest time in socialising with other dogs and long morning walks so you have a calm dog for the rest of the day.

We got our dog (puppy) in November 2019, he’s 3 now. If you got a pup obviously you have the training etc to do but I didn’t find that too tedious we knew what we were getting ourselves into. We got an active breed who could keep up with our lifestyle as we are also an outdoorsy active family.

I love our dog to pieces but I do sometimes remember fondly how much easier life was before him!

going out in all weathers to walk him because he is a legitimate NIGHTMARE without getting at least an hour off lead every day

the cost - food, grooming, insurance. It’s not astronomical, probably around £60 a month but it’s £60 extra we could do with now!

paying for kennels when we go away, no more just jumping in the car for a day/weekend out without thinking about the dog

Dog hair EVERYWHERE and a constant faint dog smell. He loves rolling around in mud and puddles and needs frequent rinse downs after walks if the weathers bad so I’m always conscious of the wet dog smell

HOWEVER, all of this is forgotten when he falls asleep in my lap watching telly of an evening 😃

We had a dog. Thought it would be lovely, pictured idyllic walks through the countryside amd bonding with the children.

Reality:
1.The smell. It was so strong and despite constantly cleaning/vacuuming it just permeated everywhere in the house, even upstairs where we decided the dog wouldn't be allowed.
2.Keeping the dog clean/groomed was a lot of work, always having to brush knots out of the fir, length of time to took to dry after getting wet, difficulties getting the mud out after walks. Husband said he would take care of it. He did not.

1. Walks - regular walks are needed and it's not like a nice walk you take for yourself where you can bunk off if the weather is terrible - the dog needs (in our case) 2-3 walks rain, hail or shine. In some ways good tp get out and about but with preschool children really do you want that burden? It annoyed me no end when my other half would arrive home as I was battling bath and bedtime and swan off for a long dog walk too, so it wasn't just the walks I took the dog on that was the issue!
2. Obedience training - it is so much harder than we thought to train a dog amd enforce obedience! I'm sure lots of people will tell you stories about their wonderful, well behaved dogs but ours was patchy. Didn't come when called half the time, pulled on the lead (nightmare when you have a pram and a dog!) Spent a lot of time on it, and it improved, but it was hard. And don't get me started on the time he stole bread from a small child trying to feed the ducks...not a slice, the whole loaf. It was mortifying!
3. Children- our dog was kind hearted and not a biter but he was petrified of the DC, had to supervise very closely to ensure they didn't hassle him. He was always so stressed when they were around, even if they were just in the next room playing. It felt unfair on him - and he was a child friendly breed. I'd never risk a rescue dog as you don't know what experiences they have had and what might trigger them - children are unpredictable.
4. General hassle and expense - always having to run around to vet appintments, keep the food topped up, remembering to buy poo bags etc. Hardly the end of the world I know, but with a baby and a toddler and back at work part time, it felt sometimes overwhelming to have yet another thing to look after!

Overall if your children are still very young I'd wait a bit? Especially if it really will be you doing most of the work?

I loved my dog dearly and had 14 wonderful years with him. My husband and I really do speak of him and remember him every single day since he died two years ago.

However, there are downsides to having a dog:

• Not being able to leave them alone for more than a few hours
• Holidays - we took ours along (UK holidays) but on rainy days you are a bit stuck because they can't be left alone in your accommodations, but nor can they be taken into many indoor attractions/restaurants. Alternatively, kennel fees will add £100s to your holiday cost
• Dog hair everywhere at home
• When ill, lakes of puke and diarrhoea
• Having to walk him when both of you are down with flu or similar
• Having to get up to let him out when you want a lie-in
• Vet bills and insurance
• Occasional night-barking if disturbed, having to get up and settle him
• Generally having to factor the dog into all your plans

Not many negatives I can think of for having a dog, the positives far outweigh.
But you’ll have to be very careful and aware of the interactions between the dog and the kids. You obviously can’t leave them alone together. Food, insurance, vets and medication (ie. flea/worming treatments) are expensive.
That’s all I can think of.

Having this internal debate at the moment.

The smell. Your dog will smell, your house will smell. You will get used to it and think it doesn't smell but it does.

The hair and the constant shedding.

The lack of flexibility to just go and do whatever you want.

The cost

Picking up shit

The potential to end up with a problem dog - resource guarding, chewing, biting, separation anxiety, reactive etc etc

Walks when you just CBA

The pain of losing them. My heart broke last month when we unexpectedly lost our pain in the arse black, mud loving, hairy Labrador. My 9 year old son misses him so much and I feel so guilty for putting him through the pain of losing his best friend.

Despite all that my house feels so quiet and so empty and I suspect a puppy is on the horizon in the New Year ❤️

The worst thing is not having family/friends who'd be happy to have them if you want an impromptu holiday or weekend away. And the fact they die after only really a handful of years together. My DM tried to convince us they were tying and expensive (though I couldnt see how they were any more so than children?!) and now she is completely converted.

Other than that no downsides; our dog brings us a huge amount of joy and happiness, not to mention being very good for our mental health as we take her out all the time.

Puppies are a living hell of lack of sleep, shit, pee, vomit, destruction!

Dogs are great. Unless you want a lie in. Mine refuses to wait past 9am for a walk.

Unless you want a day out with the kid where dogs can’t go (swimming, theme park, bowling, trampolining, shopping, pantomime, school play, hotel…). I can leave him 4hrs but only once a day. You’d be amazed how often it’s an issue!
Unless you are sick - he still needs 2 walks a day.
Unless you are broke - he costs me a fortune
Unless you want to visit non-dog friendly family (luckily mine like the dog).

I love him but not sure I’ll replace him when he eventually passes.

Poop
Vacuuming
Water bowl mess
No privacy ever (mine follows me around "helping" me do stuff
Vet fees can be astronomical
Rising dog food prices

We had a dog flap put in for the dog. It's a life changer. As long as she's had an hour run in the morning she's fine to be left for 6 or 7 hours. She just potters around the house, goes in and out and lounges in the garden and sleeps upstairs on our bed.
Before that we would only go out for 3 hours before rushing home to let her out for a wee.
We don't leave her for that long often, maybe once a month. But I don't feel as guilty as I'm not worried she's crossing her legs.

It's true you can't really go anywhere, but my dog's company is better than anyone else's, so I don't really care

Have just come home to find one of my boots has had the laces and insole taken out (not damaged) and he's ripped out the standard insole. Left bits of the insole on the rug.

I had walked him, but had to restrict him to the kitchen where the aga is to dry off properly while I nipped out to do errands. Clearly this is not acceptable to him 😂

He's in the teenager stage.

I adore him, despite his slight destruction tendencies, mainly boots and the odd bit of mail.

The right dog from the right breed that suits you will be the greatest thing ever but get it wrong and it will be the worst thing ever.
Some puppies can be very mouthy and not many young children will out up with that. Took my now 14 year old 6 months from getting our puppy to tolerate him and now he loves him to bits, I knew it would take a bit of time because ours was very mouthy.

Please, please please don't go to a puppy farm like Kelly's Kennels or Douglas Hall Farm. They may look nice, but the puppys are bred in an awful farm in Northern Ireland.

Make sure you see the actual mother with the puppies. Visit a few times, 1st without the children then with the children before you collect the puppy.

They have a bigger carbon footprint than a car and we should all be doing our bit for the environment.
It's becoming increasingly difficult to get a puppy whose mother hasn't had a miserable life as a breeding machine.

I lost my dog at the end of October and that was the shittiest thing. We had 17 fantastic years with him, brought the kids up with him, got my exercise walking him and loved sitting/cuddling with him on the sofa.

The downsides of living with my dog was he was a fussy but messy eater and he dug up the garden constantly burying his toys or chewy sticks. The worst downside was losing him to old age.

The house just aint the same.

All the benefits completely outweigh the negatives but i would say... dog hair... everywhere and constant guilt when you go out.

Things I’ve hated about my dogs over the years.
Hardy and Shady chewed my shoes, handbags, pot plants, garden ornaments etc.
Murf was a dribbler that would shake his head and we’d have dribble hang from the ceiling.
no Sunday lie ins. Murf would let us know it was breakfast time, time for a wee..
Muddy paw prints.
If Murf barked, Hardy joined in, it wasn’t necessary to bark because a leaf blew over the garden. But they did.
Nasty doggy smell.
Dog hair on literally everything.

But great company, always happy to see us, I miss them all.

dog smell
wet dog smell
dog poo
daog hair everywhere
chewing everything
cant put food/drink down
gets the baubles off the tree
if you have small kids will get thier toys
needs to be walked whatever the weather or how you are feeling or how busy you are
slobber
risk of biting
barks
cant go out for a whole day as a family unless its somewhere dogs can go
smell
did i mentipon hair every where
expensive
stress of kennels
reacting to other dogs

I honestly dont see the attraction of any pet. I feel desperately sorry for all animals unless they are working ones - kep cooped up inside until thier owner deigns to let them out of feed them.

Running your life to their schedule
Never being able to have nice furniture or things
Constant barking
Digging up the garden

I loved my dog. He was wonderful. But life without him is so much easier and honestly it's nicer for the family too