Page 3 | To not invite godmother's partner to DS christening?

Dahlia5 · 2022-12-20T10:59:24+00:00

Planning to organise DS christening early in the new year. My friend (who agreed to be a godmother) lives about 5h train journey from me and has had a partner/boyfriend for about a year now (they don't live together). I haven't met him yet, but she's been giving me hints that it will be good if we all meet next time she visits us. The next time we're going to see each other will be at christening. We want to keep the guest list to the minimum. AIBU to not invite him?

SunshineClouds1 · 20/12/2022 11:43

YABU

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 20/12/2022 11:44

Yanbu I sympathize that it isn't ideal but there really isn't a way round it that you won't come across as unreasonable.

SunshineAndFizz · 20/12/2022 11:45

Dahlia5 · 20/12/2022 11:19

I was hoping she would stay at ours for a couple of days after the christening so we can catch up etc, but I don't know if I'd be comfortable with him staying at us overnight if I don't even know him.
To be honest we were really close until she met him, now it's only me reaching out to her etc. I understand she may be busy with her life now, but it gives me second thoughts if she should still be a godmother.

Ahhhh. So the real reason has come out.

Dude, you're not 12, wanting to have your pal all to yourself. You're at a different stage of life now.

Be happy for her that she's met someone. She had to meet your DP for the first time at some point, and will need to be around him if she stays why you. Show her the same respect back.

toomuchlaundry · 20/12/2022 11:46

How does he stop being a stranger if you never meet him? How old if your little one if they have been going out together for a year but you asked her to be godmother when she was single?

NKFell · 20/12/2022 11:47

YABVU!

Sleepygrumpyandnothappy · 20/12/2022 11:47

Dahlia5 · 20/12/2022 11:19

I was hoping she would stay at ours for a couple of days after the christening so we can catch up etc, but I don't know if I'd be comfortable with him staying at us overnight if I don't even know him.
To be honest we were really close until she met him, now it's only me reaching out to her etc. I understand she may be busy with her life now, but it gives me second thoughts if she should still be a godmother.

Maybe she’s realised you’re a bit of a rubbish friend?

Greybutterfly · 20/12/2022 11:51

I hope she reads this thread and declines the invite to be godmother. What a horrible entitled friend you sound. I don’t blame her for wanting to spend more time around other people.

AngelontopoftheTree · 20/12/2022 11:51

Dahlia5 · 20/12/2022 11:19

I was hoping she would stay at ours for a couple of days after the christening so we can catch up etc, but I don't know if I'd be comfortable with him staying at us overnight if I don't even know him.
To be honest we were really close until she met him, now it's only me reaching out to her etc. I understand she may be busy with her life now, but it gives me second thoughts if she should still be a godmother.

You won't get to know him by keeping him out of things. If she's such a close friend that you've asked her to be Godmother, then trust her judgement on her choice of partner & invite them both to stay so you can get to know him.

BlueLabel · 20/12/2022 11:55

I think YABU. It sounds as though despite the number of posters who disagree with you it's not likely you'll change your mind.

whereaw · 20/12/2022 11:57

Are you having it in a church? Because if you are, we could literally all come!

Confusion101 · 20/12/2022 12:14

Agree with the majority saying YABU and that he will always be a stranger unless you meet him. I'd be annoyed if I was godmother and my boyf wasn't asked.

Even that I asked her to be a godmother when she was still single?
Have no idea what difference this makes. Would you not have asked her if she had a boyfriend?? Strange.

Wakeywake · 20/12/2022 12:14

To me this is the equivalent of not inviting your MoH's partner to your wedding. Just rude. She's doing you a big favour, she's the most important person at the christening (apart from the baby), you've got to invite her partner.

NoelNoNoel · 20/12/2022 12:15

YABU

Gruelle · 20/12/2022 12:52

I’d say a godmother is in a rather different position to a MofH. The latter is invited purely based on current and past friendship; but inviting someone to be a godmother is a clear, formal declaration that you want the person in your and your child’s life in the future. It has to be someone you completely trust and whose lifestyle you wholeheartedly embrace.

caringcarer · 20/12/2022 12:59

If you snub him now it will be awkward when you do meet him later. If they get married would you expect to be invited to their wedding? They have been dating for a year not 4 weeks. It is rude to snub him especially as the Godmother is travelling for 10 hours on a train to be with you.

Scarlettpixie · 20/12/2022 13:01

Yabvu.

ginslinger · 20/12/2022 13:05

You're thinking of not inviting the partner of a woman who is participating in a service which is introducing your child to the Christian faith? The Christian faith that loves everyone?
This is yet one more reason why religion is bollocks.

PinkiOcelot · 20/12/2022 13:05

Definitely VVVU!

lunar1 · 20/12/2022 13:06

If you want her in your life you will need to accept her relationship and get to know him.

It doesn't come across that you have much respect for the woman you have asked to be your child's godmother.

NoelNoNoel · 20/12/2022 13:08

Everyone’s partner was new and a stranger at some point.

BotterMon · 20/12/2022 13:08

YAB Massively U

CallMeDaphne · 20/12/2022 13:09

Ihaveamagicwand · 20/12/2022 11:05

Hours not years!!!

Could be years! Days, anyway!😂

bridgetreilly · 20/12/2022 13:10

The minimum guest list for a christening is godparents and their partners.

blubberyboo · 20/12/2022 13:11

If you are asking her to assume duties of a godmother then would it not make sense to meet the significant person in her life? This man could end up raising your child in an extreme series of events

yabu also because she has to make a long train journey and probably wants company

SomethingOriginal2 · 20/12/2022 13:14

YABU partners are just included in that kind of thing. Especially when she's not just a guest. She's important enough to be godmother to your child. She's travelling 5 bloody hours to be there.