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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pushchair fight on bus

720 replies

Partygal · 19/12/2022 22:25

After picking my child up from her child minder today, I arrived the bus stop to find two women with buggies waiting.

Knowing that the driver wouldn’t let three of us on, I walked round the corner to the previous stop and got on there.

When it arrived at the next stop, sure enough only mum was allowed on - the other was told to wait 30 minutes for the next bus. I was screamed at and called a cunt and a queue jumper by one mum who tried to shove me off the bus.

I don’t think I did anything wrong, nor did the police when they turned up after being called by the driver.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

OP posts:
Plumbear2 · 23/12/2022 19:41

Gothdad77 · 23/12/2022 19:32

I walk to the bus stops that are before the busy ones to get a space. You snooze you loose, tough luck. You're dumb and lazy if you don't.To the people saying fold down the buggy, do you even have kids? Do you know hard it is to juggle a folded up pram and a child on your own especially in and off public transport.

Actually yes I do know how hard it is, I also know it's possible. Before mid 90s everyone had to fold down the buggys.

Sometimeswinning · 23/12/2022 23:35

Plumbear2 · 23/12/2022 06:30

Before the mid 90,s everyone had to fold their buggy. So yes I have folded the buggy many many times thankyou.

Show quote history

I'm not sure we're the same breed as people were in the 90s. I'd fold without a second thought. I'm in a minority it seems. There are hundreds of excuses as to why people wont. When it comes down to it though people are just lazy and entitled. Not saying the earlier bus stop idea wasn't genius! But I'd have folded and sorted out my bags.

rwalker · 23/12/2022 23:50

SleepingStandingUp · 21/12/2022 09:30

Then the bus driver quote rightly needs to do their job and tell the pushchair pusher they need to move and the bus won't until they do. Because I agree with yo u despite being a scummy non-folder but if drivers won't even wait for the pushchair to move or even ASK them to, what hope is there? And I dint buy that the burly male drivers which frequent our route are all scared of young Mom's attacking them.

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The bus drivers have no power to make them move or fold buggy all the can do is ask

It’s not a question of burly driver frightened . Have you ever worked with the genes public they are aggressive rude and intimidating.
why should he put himself in line for shit and abuse

Gothdad77 · 24/12/2022 07:57

It's not the 80s, busses are totally different seating areas are pretty awkward, even without a toddler a backpack a weekly shop for a family of 3 and a buggy ( part of the reason they added more of this space in busses as well as supporting those who use wheel chairs) Too many people get on a bus to go 3 stops which you can walk in 5 minutes.

SleepingStandingUp · 24/12/2022 16:52

rwalker · 23/12/2022 23:50

The bus drivers have no power to make them move or fold buggy all the can do is ask

It’s not a question of burly driver frightened . Have you ever worked with the genes public they are aggressive rude and intimidating.
why should he put himself in line for shit and abuse

Show quote history

So if someone gets in and doesn't pay, if someones smoking on the bus etc, they should never question it, just accept it? Might start not paying when I get on. After all you can't expect them to tell me what to do on the bus

Greenfairydust · 24/12/2022 17:18

You both sound like selfish, unpleasant people.

I am sure the rest of the passengers loved having their journey disrupted because one mum is a sneaky little madam and the other a thug who think it is OK to swear at and shove people.

ErinTingey · 24/12/2022 17:46

I was on a bus and we pulled into a stop. There were already two buggys on the bus, but the shitty looks those buggy owners were getting from the two women with buggys who wanted to get on the bus needed seeing to be believed.

ancientgran · 24/12/2022 18:47

SleepingStandingUp · 22/12/2022 12:55

So tell me how I get two 1 year old twins who aren't walking, and a 5 year old who's on oxygen onto the bus beside a main road with even the basics of a nappy bag and school bag on a busy bus. I'm not dumping my kids in the floor for people to walk over. Most people don't want to hold toddlers esp since covid let alone with the constant winter cough and colds.

So we GET OFF. As long as people get off, there is zero issue with me not collapsing my buggy to travel 15 miles each way across 4 buses which would need me to out the buggy each time in between and probably waking up said toddlers

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If your 5 year old is on oxygen wouldn't you qualify to use a disabled space?

WiddlinDiddlin · 24/12/2022 20:00

Of course it does AncientGran... but that gets in the way of being outraged at someone elses comments that don't apply. I don't know why some people do this... but they do.

Busybody2022 · 24/12/2022 20:17

Perfectly fair to use your initiative.

Bit like going round the roundabout when there's a massive queue to go left but the other lane is clear. It is common sense

Coyoacan · 24/12/2022 21:17

Really, when will people organise to demand better bus services?

rwalker · 25/12/2022 11:09

SleepingStandingUp · 24/12/2022 16:52

So if someone gets in and doesn't pay, if someones smoking on the bus etc, they should never question it, just accept it? Might start not paying when I get on. After all you can't expect them to tell me what to do on the bus

Show quote history

Best they can do is ask they have no power to enforce
again the general public can be very aggressive both verbally and physically
the best they could do would be to ask they can’t make anyone do anything
by all means get on and don’t pay chances are they won’t set off or ring the police to get you removed

CowsInFields · 25/12/2022 13:24

Probably already been pointed out, but just read your post in ladbible

Robyh · 25/12/2022 18:54

Absolutely unreasonable. You knew what you were doing. You knew they'd be upset. Have some morality. I'd be pissed too and I would absolutely make sure everyone knew you were a c.u.next.tuesday.

Robyh · 25/12/2022 19:00

The fact that you keep posting about it says you know you're an asshole.

ReneBumsWombats · 25/12/2022 20:04

Robyh · 25/12/2022 18:54

Absolutely unreasonable. You knew what you were doing. You knew they'd be upset. Have some morality. I'd be pissed too and I would absolutely make sure everyone knew you were a c.u.next.tuesday.

How would you do that when you couldn't get on the bus?

SofiaSoFar · 26/12/2022 06:42

Robyh · 25/12/2022 18:54

Absolutely unreasonable. You knew what you were doing. You knew they'd be upset. Have some morality. I'd be pissed too and I would absolutely make sure everyone knew you were a c.u.next.tuesday.

The last thing this whole situation needs is alcohol adding into the mix!

LouisCatorze · 26/12/2022 09:34

I can't see how it's wrong to use one's initiative and back track a bus stop or two if you predict there's going to an issue with 'buggy' space?

Whenever I use a bus (no buggy necessary nowadays), I will always go to a bus stop 'earlier in the route' to the main use ones to ensure I get a seat. Isn't that just sensible rather than sneaky?

Everyone else is surely capable of arriving at the same conclusion if standing at a super busy stop with other buggy users, those with shopping trolleys and people in wheelchairs.

ReneBumsWombats · 26/12/2022 09:37

Disapproving people: would it have made a difference if OP hadn't ever gone to the original bus stop, but just knew that the route could be busy and went to an earlier stop in the first instance? Why?

TeamPineapple · 26/12/2022 11:24

ReneBumsWombats · 26/12/2022 09:37

Disapproving people: would it have made a difference if OP hadn't ever gone to the original bus stop, but just knew that the route could be busy and went to an earlier stop in the first instance? Why?

The reason what OP did doesn't sit well with me, and why it feels different had she gone to the earlier stop in the first instance, is because she actually saw there were 2 people waiting before her then made a decision that benefited herself at their expense. It lacked empathy. Whereas if she'd gone to the earlier stop first she wouldn't have known how it might affect others so the outcome then feels like luck of the draw. The 2 ladies knew they'd been inconvenienced deliberately by OP (especially with her subsequent refusal to fold her pushchair) and that's what pissed them off. Difference between thinking "sod's law, we can't both get on the bus" and "selfish twat" to them I expect.

DanseAvecLesLoups · 26/12/2022 11:53

Robyh · 25/12/2022 18:54

Absolutely unreasonable. You knew what you were doing. You knew they'd be upset. Have some morality. I'd be pissed too and I would absolutely make sure everyone knew you were a c.u.next.tuesday.

And you will end up being 'that' crazy batshit woman everyone laughs at on social media when your infantile swearing meltdown is invariably filmed and shared.

FTY765 · 27/12/2022 14:43

LouisCatorze · 26/12/2022 09:34

I can't see how it's wrong to use one's initiative and back track a bus stop or two if you predict there's going to an issue with 'buggy' space?

Whenever I use a bus (no buggy necessary nowadays), I will always go to a bus stop 'earlier in the route' to the main use ones to ensure I get a seat. Isn't that just sensible rather than sneaky?

Everyone else is surely capable of arriving at the same conclusion if standing at a super busy stop with other buggy users, those with shopping trolleys and people in wheelchairs.

People with children in pushchairs and wheelchair users are not the same.
The wheelchair user is the person legally entitled to be in that space.

Robyh · 28/12/2022 18:56

Are you on drugs? Nobody said anything about alcohol.

Robyh · 28/12/2022 18:58

SofiaSoFar · 26/12/2022 06:42

The last thing this whole situation needs is alcohol adding into the mix!

Show quote history

Nobody said anything about alcohol...

clairelouwho · 28/12/2022 19:08

I'm not seeing what is selfish or wrong here. They all had the same opportunity to walk to the previous stop, and she was the only one who took the initiative to do it.

However, you could have folded the pram knowing the others were waiting and wouldn't be allowed on if you didn't. All the same, there was no need to push you.