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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pushchair fight on bus

720 replies

Partygal · 19/12/2022 22:25

After picking my child up from her child minder today, I arrived the bus stop to find two women with buggies waiting.

Knowing that the driver wouldn’t let three of us on, I walked round the corner to the previous stop and got on there.

When it arrived at the next stop, sure enough only mum was allowed on - the other was told to wait 30 minutes for the next bus. I was screamed at and called a cunt and a queue jumper by one mum who tried to shove me off the bus.

I don’t think I did anything wrong, nor did the police when they turned up after being called by the driver.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

OP posts:
LumpyandBumps · 21/12/2022 19:37

Link
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-screamed-at-called-selfish-28787053
There’s only been a few reader comments so far, although those believing the account are supporting OP.

whumpthereitis · 21/12/2022 20:18

Cuppasoupmonster · 21/12/2022 19:27

Ooooh maybe the 2 women will see OP’s arse being handed to her!

Show quote history

56% not unreasonable is hardly the definition of ‘arse handed to her’.

OP is, and will continue to be, fine I imagine. Even more so now she’s got her car back.

Devoutspoken · 21/12/2022 21:36

Jolly good, another car on the road, just what we need

Coldhouseflowers · 21/12/2022 21:44

Yuk ! A real sneaky, selfish move .

StacM86 · 21/12/2022 23:50

I don’t think you did anything wrong at all I do this now and I don’t have a baby to make sure I get a seat. I’m expecting now and I will continue to do what I can to make sure I get on the bus! You gotta do what you gotta do! The other mums are just pissed they didn’t think of it first!

SleepingStandingUp · 22/12/2022 00:35

Goldbar · 21/12/2022 13:57

It's relatively straightforward to fold if people round about you help. Someone needs to hold the baby/toddler, someone the shopping and then you have one hand to hold on with and one hand to fold. If the buggy has a bassinet attachment, it's even easier - just remove the bassinet and put it on the floor until you've folded the buggy. If you have a mobile child/older baby, reins are great for attaching them to the seat until you've folded.

There's only a problem if people refuse to help or if the bus driver/other passengers expect mums to fold their buggies instantly without the smallest delay. Or if you're trying to travel during rush hour with a huge buggy.

Or you have multiples, a disability, a disabled child, a bus service that's so irregular it's standing room only from the bus station...

MustTryHarderAgain · 22/12/2022 00:35

Dacadactyl · 19/12/2022 22:29

I don't think you were unreasonable.

Depending on the age of my child though, if I was in your shoes, I'd have probably used the time on the bus to fold down the pushchair to make room for her to get on too.

This really. You weren't being unreasonable, but if you were in a position to make space for the other mums, it would have been nice to do so.

MustTryHarderAgain · 22/12/2022 00:50

Also there was definitely no reason for the other mothers to behave as you described of course, almost unbelievable really.

cherish123 · 22/12/2022 01:01

YANBU
Ridiculous behaviour from this woman.
Surely she could just fold pushchair away

WiddlinDiddlin · 22/12/2022 04:25

I hear a lot of 'me me me, how will I, it's not convenient for me'..

Before disabled people... not you, entitled range rover pram pushing fuckers, not you... DISABLED people, fought for the right to a space for them on the bus (mind, one, maybe two spaces, not the access to spaces everyone else has... god forbid TWO disabled people want to go somewhere together on public transport cos there is almost never space!)...

Rucksack for your shopping. Minimal baby kit for the kid. One handed folding buggy.

Get to bus stop, kid out, on your hip if there's no one vaguely trustworthy to hold, fold buggy, get on bus.

You did not DO a weeks shopping if you had to haul the whole lot yourself on your back and then sit with it on the bus. If you had to, you took the bus to the shop and a taxi home.

That was before the days of Ubers, online grocery shopping and bigger buses - it was do-able then, it still is now.

The bottom line is, you don't want to, and fuck anyone you inconvenience along the way.

It's a nice idea that accessible spaces are prioritised for wheelchair users/mobility aid users, but lets be honest, thats NOT the case is it?

Because bus drivers have seen it so many times, ask the parent to fold or get off, the parent kicks off, the bus is delayed, they get a bollocking later on, no one gets anywhere and the disabled person feels humiliated and like an absolute cunt and vows never to try that again.

Thats the fucking reality, and its why so many disabled people do not use public transport.

bellabasset · 22/12/2022 05:06

I used to travel to work from near Clapham Junction to Knightsbridge on the 19 bus. The no of times they would terminate that bus at Battersea Bridge and expect a second fare was very annoying. In those days you couldn't get a wheelchair or pram on the buses. These days I live in the country and have a bus pass which I rarely use. It would be £5 for the 4 mile journey to town.

MsChatterbox · 22/12/2022 06:12

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-screamed-at-called-selfish-28787053

Didn't take long...

MsChatterbox · 22/12/2022 06:13

Ah sorry didn't realise it had already been posted..

Ocrumbs · 22/12/2022 06:15

Judgyjudgy · 19/12/2022 22:31

It was clever of you, but ethically dubious considering they were both there before you

This

Mamai90 · 22/12/2022 06:44

HerMajestysRoyalCoven · 21/12/2022 13:15

All those complaining that it’s too hard to fold a buggy and asking how it can possibly be done safely - what are you going to do if a wheelchair user needs the space? Miraculously work out how to do it? Get off the bus? Or are you going to pretend it’s not happening and wait for the bus driver to do absolutely nothing and leave the person stranded at the roadside whilst you go on using the space that you’ve co-opted from someone legally entitled to it?

I commuted for ten years by bus and the vast majority of mums went for 3. That’s what all of this complaining about safety amounts to - “I bought a buggy that can’t be folded easily and so now my baby’s safety takes precedence over everything else”.

I'd get off the bus if a wheelchair user needed the space. Why is everyone getting so angry? People are saying they can't fold their buggies, nobody has said they wouldn't get off for a wheelchair user.

There's no way I could fold by buggy while juggling my squirming child and a load of bags, the bus starts moving before people have even sat down, the shopping would be everywhere and my child could be potentially injured. Fuck that.

Of course I'd get off the bus for a wheelchair user though, where I live if the bus driver didn't ask you to get off there would be plenty on the bus to hoof you off if someone disabled needed the seat.

Ocrumbs · 22/12/2022 06:47

Mamai90 · 22/12/2022 06:44

I'd get off the bus if a wheelchair user needed the space. Why is everyone getting so angry? People are saying they can't fold their buggies, nobody has said they wouldn't get off for a wheelchair user.

There's no way I could fold by buggy while juggling my squirming child and a load of bags, the bus starts moving before people have even sat down, the shopping would be everywhere and my child could be potentially injured. Fuck that.

Of course I'd get off the bus for a wheelchair user though, where I live if the bus driver didn't ask you to get off there would be plenty on the bus to hoof you off if someone disabled needed the seat.

Show quote history

I think unfortunately not everyone is as considerate as you and there are people who refuse to get off the bus for wheelchair users. If be angry if I were a wheelchair user who couldn't get on the bus because someone who didn't need the space was in it.

Startwithamimosa · 22/12/2022 06:59

MsChatterbox · 22/12/2022 06:12

Gawd, now all these other a**holes will now use OP's 'clever' trick. Let the hunger games begin (although I bet they won't think it's so great when it happens to them) Hmm

Typo22 · 22/12/2022 07:07

You sound like a dick tbh. I bet there's a lump of coal in your stocking this year.

gogohmm · 22/12/2022 07:29

@ancientgran I had to fold mine 20 years ago, I could carry the youngest, reins looped around my wrist if the older shopping and a double buggy hung over my arm, buses had 5 steps where I lived!

gogohmm · 22/12/2022 07:32

@redflowerbluethorns

There were steps when my kids were small - we collapsed our buggies down. Wheelchairs should always have priority because you can fold the pushchair (if yours doesn't fold get one that does, my double buggy folding enough to carry onto buses!)

Calphurnia88 · 22/12/2022 09:33

Mamai90 · 22/12/2022 06:44

I'd get off the bus if a wheelchair user needed the space. Why is everyone getting so angry? People are saying they can't fold their buggies, nobody has said they wouldn't get off for a wheelchair user.

There's no way I could fold by buggy while juggling my squirming child and a load of bags, the bus starts moving before people have even sat down, the shopping would be everywhere and my child could be potentially injured. Fuck that.

Of course I'd get off the bus for a wheelchair user though, where I live if the bus driver didn't ask you to get off there would be plenty on the bus to hoof you off if someone disabled needed the seat.

Show quote history

Same here, but I've lived on this planet long enough to know that sadly many others wouldn't.

twinsfather · 22/12/2022 11:29

One risks the chance being able to get on the bus together with others as well or missed the bus by spending the time walking to another stop ahead whilst others are eligible to do the same. The action does not necessarily guarantee a place for her if there are many others there already. Is that not fair at all? Moreover, will that person really be in a hurry or have important thing to do?

HerMajestysRoyalCoven · 22/12/2022 11:56

I'd get off the bus if a wheelchair user needed the space. Why is everyone getting so angry? People are saying they can't fold their buggies, nobody has said they wouldn't get off for a wheelchair user

People are getting angry because life as a wheelchair user is extremely challenging to begin with because UK infrastructure is extremely poor, and the one space that has been hard won is being co-opted by people who think that’s justifiable because they’ve bought prams that can’t be folded, or which they’ve filled with shopping so can’t easily fold. If you spent a day trying to access buses whilst in a wheelchair, you’d get the anger.

I realise that many people on this thread are saying they’d move, this doesn’t match the lives experience of many, many wheelchair users. There are also people on this thread and the other currently running who argue that the space should be first come first served - that’s infuriating to me, and yet is frequently accepted by other parents who understand the difficulties of gigantic prams and shopping etc.

It’s incredibly selfish, and if it doesn’t make you angry then you’re fortunate.

DdraigGoch · 22/12/2022 12:19

Calphurnia88 · 21/12/2022 11:14

One of the reasons I stopped using public transport whilst heavily pregnant was because - despite having a very obvious baby bump, and even asking them to wait - the driver would often start driving off before I was seated, causing me to lose my balance.

Considering the only thing I was attempting to do was the basic task of sitting down, I don't know how anyone would be able to remove bags and collapse a pram, whilst holding a baby, then find a seat without risking the safety of themselves, their baby and potentially other passengers, in less time.

I can only assume that 'in my day' people had a lot more patience than they do now.

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I think that drivers are under more pressure re: timekeeping than they used to be. Buses often now have GPS trackers running all of the time whereas in the old days you just had occasional checks by the inspector.

Runforthehills754 · 22/12/2022 12:32

Queue jumping 😂The world is insane. People can stand at whichever bus stop they so wish.

Whether that is morally ethical is another matter.