Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pushchair fight on bus

720 replies

Partygal · 19/12/2022 22:25

After picking my child up from her child minder today, I arrived the bus stop to find two women with buggies waiting.

Knowing that the driver wouldn’t let three of us on, I walked round the corner to the previous stop and got on there.

When it arrived at the next stop, sure enough only mum was allowed on - the other was told to wait 30 minutes for the next bus. I was screamed at and called a cunt and a queue jumper by one mum who tried to shove me off the bus.

I don’t think I did anything wrong, nor did the police when they turned up after being called by the driver.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

OP posts:
Emotionalsupportviper · 20/12/2022 22:23

InWalksBarberalla · 20/12/2022 19:58

This thread is sad. I thought UK people were known for their politeness and consideration and here we have more than half the posters celebrating the OPs queue jumping as if she is some kind of genius instead of just a selfish person.

I thought UK people were known for their politeness and consideration

Oh, you sweet li'l thang, you! 😂😂😂

JudgeJ · 20/12/2022 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Kpo58 · 20/12/2022 23:51

Spectre8 · 20/12/2022 20:33

They already are! How big or long do you want the bus be the roads and getting round corners can only meet certain size vehicles.

Unless we just get rid of seats on the bottom deck but then you would discrimatr against those who cannot get up stairs but need to sit. And no those fold down seats won't help either.

Plenty of buses really aren't designed with anyone's needs taken into account. There are plenty of buses where the wheelchair space is tiny and awkward to access, almost non existent legroom where you physically cannot get your legs in and no luggage space.

There really needs to be a better standard of bus design which does let everyone be able to use the bus.

DuchessDandelion · 21/12/2022 00:34

@InWalksBarberalla she didn't queue jump. She went to a different bus stop - that's not queue jumping.

DdraigGoch · 21/12/2022 01:21

JudgeJ · 20/12/2022 10:56

Love the number of people who are jealous of others' ingenuity!

Ingenuity my foot.

If the OP had applied brains to the problem, she would have folded the buggy down and everyone could have fitted on.

DdraigGoch · 21/12/2022 01:24

Partygal · 20/12/2022 10:43

Got my car back from the garage. I’ll give them a toot and a wave if they are at the bus stop when I drive past later!

I take it that you drive something with a nice roomy boot then? Something with room to accommodate an entire unfolded pram because it's oh so difficult to fold down.

DdraigGoch · 21/12/2022 01:30

LorW · 20/12/2022 11:45

All the fold down your buggy comments, not sure where she would have stored it? All the busses round here only have one small luggage area that generally has the tray with the newspapers sat in it, but it’s only a shallow one, couldn’t store a stroller in it let alone a big pram, I had to take a bus a couple of weeks ago and realised just how shit public transport is for people with young children, nobody wanted to hold my baby when I was trying to fold down a pram on a crowded bus, I had to sit her on the floor as had no choice, then the pram had to sit on the floor in the pram bit and pretty much took up just the same amount of space so I was raging that I was made to fold it.

Don't most modern low-floor buses usually have a luggage space over the front-left wheel arch? Unless it's one of those small ones used on very rural routes where the wheels are ahead of the door.

Kokeshi123 · 21/12/2022 04:24

DdraigGoch · 21/12/2022 01:24

I take it that you drive something with a nice roomy boot then? Something with room to accommodate an entire unfolded pram because it's oh so difficult to fold down.

How do you know she'll have the buggy or the same buggy with her in the car? I am pretty sure many parents just use a sling or a frame that that car seat snaps onto when driving, and use a different buggy if they are out without the car and need to be able to pile shopping onto it etc. Also, if you are getting into a car, you can put the baby (and your bags and shopping etc.) into the car, then fold the buggy. The problem with the bus scenario is that you might end up having to fold a buggy while holding a baby, then somehow get the folded buggy and all your bags onto a bus while holding a baby. I'm not commenting particularly on the rights and wrongs of this situ, just trying to explain while having to fold buggies on buses is so grim, and why the UK needs to have better public transit so that there is room for everyone without folding their bloody buggies!

EasterIsland · 21/12/2022 04:53

ReneBumsWombats · 20/12/2022 20:14

I thought wheelchair users trumped buggies for bus space? Not that you'd kick off a wheelchair user if a buggy came on, but that if a wheelchair user and a buggy both came on at the same time, the wheelchair user took priority.

Yes, wheelchairs always take precedence. But there are a lot of selfish and ignorant people out there, like the OP.

ExpensiveOops · 21/12/2022 06:28

InWalksBarberalla · 20/12/2022 19:58

This thread is sad. I thought UK people were known for their politeness and consideration and here we have more than half the posters celebrating the OPs queue jumping as if she is some kind of genius instead of just a selfish person.

Most cultures known for politeness are truly deep down just passive aggressive.

WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 21/12/2022 07:47

DdraigGoch · 21/12/2022 01:21

Ingenuity my foot.

If the OP had applied brains to the problem, she would have folded the buggy down and everyone could have fitted on.

It’s been explained time and time again why this doesn’t work in practice. Are you tone deaf or can you just not comprehend it?

Hercisback · 21/12/2022 08:01

@WhatAmIDoingWrong123 But the onus is on the parent with a baby to purchase a suitable pram for public transport. There are umbrella folds suitable from birth and plenty of sling options. If a wheelchair user came on the bus, the pushchairs would have to fold or leave, so they need to be ready.

WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 21/12/2022 08:10

Hercisback · 21/12/2022 08:01

@WhatAmIDoingWrong123 But the onus is on the parent with a baby to purchase a suitable pram for public transport. There are umbrella folds suitable from birth and plenty of sling options. If a wheelchair user came on the bus, the pushchairs would have to fold or leave, so they need to be ready.

Slings aren’t suitable for everyone, I’ve had 7 falls this year because of a congenital issue so no to adding more weight and the very real possibility of harming my baby when I’m already so unbalanced. No to folding up any kind of pram, what do you expect to happen with the baby while you’re folding it up? Where do you think it goes when you have folded it up? There’s no space on the busses round her. So… no no no.

Devoutspoken · 21/12/2022 08:15

She won't have any problems with the car, because the world has been designed in favour of car drivers, mothers with pushchairs on public transport are pretty low down the pecking order

LouisCatorze · 21/12/2022 09:05

Would love to know how many people advocating collapsing buggies on the bus have ever had to do it. It is not at all easy unless you're very agile, on a very empty bus with one compliant infant and no bags of shopping in tow. Bus drivers regularly set off before many of their passengers (a considerable number elderly) are seated, causing people to be thrown around. Not a situation you'd want to find yourself in with a baby!

The problem is that in an ideal world, as a buggy-using parent on public transport, you'd try to swerve the busy times of the day when going about daily life that requires travel further than you can easily walk. But there again many of the chores (if they involve GP, bank, baby/toddler activities) will have to be fitted into a limited number of business hours. Same as the elderly and wheelchair users.

IndieK1d · 21/12/2022 09:07

LouisCatorze · 21/12/2022 09:05

Would love to know how many people advocating collapsing buggies on the bus have ever had to do it. It is not at all easy unless you're very agile, on a very empty bus with one compliant infant and no bags of shopping in tow. Bus drivers regularly set off before many of their passengers (a considerable number elderly) are seated, causing people to be thrown around. Not a situation you'd want to find yourself in with a baby!

The problem is that in an ideal world, as a buggy-using parent on public transport, you'd try to swerve the busy times of the day when going about daily life that requires travel further than you can easily walk. But there again many of the chores (if they involve GP, bank, baby/toddler activities) will have to be fitted into a limited number of business hours. Same as the elderly and wheelchair users.

You used to have to do that. I remember getting on buses as late as 2007 and helping a lady with her pram / toddler

SleepingStandingUp · 21/12/2022 09:10

DdraigGoch · 21/12/2022 01:30

Don't most modern low-floor buses usually have a luggage space over the front-left wheel arch? Unless it's one of those small ones used on very rural routes where the wheels are ahead of the door.

Ha.

I catch buses that service Birmingham (we're in an outlier town but it's Al lthe same fleet). Front left wheel is a single seat right st the very front and a tidy "luggage" space that holds the newspapers and is waist high. That's it. So even if you do dump bags on there, every time someone wants a newspaper they have to work around your bags. Folded buggies end up sitting in the wheelchair or buggy spaces, or in the first priority seating bays.

PuttingDownRoots · 21/12/2022 09:11

LouisCatorze · 21/12/2022 09:05

Would love to know how many people advocating collapsing buggies on the bus have ever had to do it. It is not at all easy unless you're very agile, on a very empty bus with one compliant infant and no bags of shopping in tow. Bus drivers regularly set off before many of their passengers (a considerable number elderly) are seated, causing people to be thrown around. Not a situation you'd want to find yourself in with a baby!

The problem is that in an ideal world, as a buggy-using parent on public transport, you'd try to swerve the busy times of the day when going about daily life that requires travel further than you can easily walk. But there again many of the chores (if they involve GP, bank, baby/toddler activities) will have to be fitted into a limited number of business hours. Same as the elderly and wheelchair users.

I've outlined my experience of having to do just that several pages back, as there were only 3 buses a day on an unwalkable route so we just got on with it as we wanted to get our food and children home, some in time for the school pick up.

Kpo58 · 21/12/2022 09:11

Hercisback · 21/12/2022 08:01

@WhatAmIDoingWrong123 But the onus is on the parent with a baby to purchase a suitable pram for public transport. There are umbrella folds suitable from birth and plenty of sling options. If a wheelchair user came on the bus, the pushchairs would have to fold or leave, so they need to be ready.

How do you expect someone to take a week's worth of grocery shopping home in an umbrella buggy? There is a reason why these buggies are normally only taken in the boot of a car. They simply aren't practical for people without cars to use.

crimbocountdown · 21/12/2022 09:12

Hercisback · 21/12/2022 08:01

@WhatAmIDoingWrong123 But the onus is on the parent with a baby to purchase a suitable pram for public transport. There are umbrella folds suitable from birth and plenty of sling options. If a wheelchair user came on the bus, the pushchairs would have to fold or leave, so they need to be ready.

Exactly this. I bought a cheap second hand super foldable pushchair for my twins for using on public transport - people always offered to hold one if they saw me about to sit one on the floor while holding the other to be able to fold the pushchair because they at least saw what I was trying to do by being considerate of other bus users

DdraigGoch · 21/12/2022 09:13

WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 21/12/2022 07:47

It’s been explained time and time again why this doesn’t work in practice. Are you tone deaf or can you just not comprehend it?

Did you read the OP's posts? It's very clear that she could have folded down if she wanted too, she was just being deliberately awkward.

DdraigGoch · 21/12/2022 09:14

LouisCatorze · 21/12/2022 09:05

Would love to know how many people advocating collapsing buggies on the bus have ever had to do it. It is not at all easy unless you're very agile, on a very empty bus with one compliant infant and no bags of shopping in tow. Bus drivers regularly set off before many of their passengers (a considerable number elderly) are seated, causing people to be thrown around. Not a situation you'd want to find yourself in with a baby!

The problem is that in an ideal world, as a buggy-using parent on public transport, you'd try to swerve the busy times of the day when going about daily life that requires travel further than you can easily walk. But there again many of the chores (if they involve GP, bank, baby/toddler activities) will have to be fitted into a limited number of business hours. Same as the elderly and wheelchair users.

If you do it before the bus arrives then that isn't a problem.

Dulra · 21/12/2022 09:19

I think people need to remember that the only reason there is a big space for buggies to wheel on is because disability organisations lobbied tirelessly for decades for this space and now it is mainly taken up with buggies that can be folded. I personally think wheelchairs should always get priority over buggies and it infuriates me when I am on a bus and the space is taken up with a buggy and a wheelchair user cannot get on. They can't fold up their chair and get on they have no choice. I am a mum with 3 kids I know how hard it is to fold up but seriously you will be a buggy user for a very short space of time in the grand scheme of things pull up your big girl pants fold up your buggy and give priority to wheelchair users

SleepingStandingUp · 21/12/2022 09:26

For those telling me I should fold my buggy or else in a selfish arse, I have asked drivers to let me on and I'll fold and they refuse to let me. Like literally me going "I know, it's fine, I'll fold" and them saying "no, it's too much work, just wait for the next own". "but what if that's full too?". "no, you can't fold it!".

Now I could fold in advance... But sometimes our 7 minute frequency bus is more like 20 minutes... And longer. So now I'm stood besides a main road (home main road is near an ambulance and fire station, town stop is one of the main bus routes out of town) holding into 2 year old twins, a double buggy, and a couple of bags of whatever. I don't care that you did it with fourteen babies whilst the articulated lorries sped past at 100 mph and the children just sat I na neat line singing thier alphabet backwards. It's a bloody dangerous idea because I can't lift the buggy, plus the shopping and direct two kids on reins at the same time.

If I get on at the station, the number of people who crush forward and push and shove (and not just the kids!) it would be physically unsafe unless I wait until the very to board and then when the service is really shit and doesn't take everyone at the stop, I'm not getting home. At least I na buggy by kids are fairly protected, I can keep my place in the queue, and they have a safe allocated space on the bus.

SleepingStandingUp · 21/12/2022 09:30

Dulra · 21/12/2022 09:19

I think people need to remember that the only reason there is a big space for buggies to wheel on is because disability organisations lobbied tirelessly for decades for this space and now it is mainly taken up with buggies that can be folded. I personally think wheelchairs should always get priority over buggies and it infuriates me when I am on a bus and the space is taken up with a buggy and a wheelchair user cannot get on. They can't fold up their chair and get on they have no choice. I am a mum with 3 kids I know how hard it is to fold up but seriously you will be a buggy user for a very short space of time in the grand scheme of things pull up your big girl pants fold up your buggy and give priority to wheelchair users

Then the bus driver quote rightly needs to do their job and tell the pushchair pusher they need to move and the bus won't until they do. Because I agree with yo u despite being a scummy non-folder but if drivers won't even wait for the pushchair to move or even ASK them to, what hope is there? And I dint buy that the burly male drivers which frequent our route are all scared of young Mom's attacking them.