Pushchair fight on bus

[Partygal]

After picking my child up from her child minder today, I arrived the bus stop to find two women with buggies waiting.

Knowing that the driver wouldn’t let three of us on, I walked round the corner to the previous stop and got on there.

When it arrived at the next stop, sure enough only mum was allowed on - the other was told to wait 30 minutes for the next bus. I was screamed at and called a cunt and a queue jumper by one mum who tried to shove me off the bus.

I don’t think I did anything wrong, nor did the police when they turned up after being called by the driver.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

Knowing full well she was jumping the queue! Of course it is selfish and morally dubious.

anyway OP clearly isn’t coming back. Not sure why everyone is arguing among themselves but there we go

I presume you walk in the direction of travel? Not away from the direction?

I don't think what the OP did was any worse than DD and her mates when she used to go to an earlier bus stop to make sure she could get on the crowded bus after school- particularly as there is only actually one bus she could get on and some of the other kids who lived nearer had other bus options. Just sensible!

@CatJumperTwat that is appalling. But sadly, I'm not surprised. I assume these parents are the parents of the schoolchildren who push past me to get on the bus first.

Queue loads of MN posts on how terribly child-hating we are in the UK, and how tough it is for mothers. And they wonder why, when the OP's behaviour is being applauded.

Reminds me of when I was working and using the bus. I’d catch the bus a bit up the road from my office building when the bus was mostly empty, the next stop was round the corner outside a major arts venue where there would usually be a huge crowd just out from the matinee, usually mostly pensioners. The bus would fill to bursting and I would often be glared at for not offering my seat, but I felt why should I, I’d been working all afternoon and they’d been watching a show! And I’d paid for my seat and they had bus passes! Yes I’m an ageist bitch……

We're still here because it's funny to see the amount of people who don't understand how bus stops work.

She didn't jump the queue, she joined an entirely different queue.

At the supermarket which queue for the checkout do you join? The shortest one. I'm not queueing behind three people when there's a checkout further down with only one person waiting.

This, like which bus stop to wait at, is a choice open to everyone.

We're still here because it's funny to see the amount of people who don't understand how bus stops work.

😂

Exactly! It's not one large queue...... it's a series of separate queues in separate locations, and you can freely choose your location. Similar to checkouts in a supermarket - if you make a decision to move from a longer to a shorter queue in a supermarket, and you get your shopping through before those in the previous queue that you left..... so be it 🤷‍♀️ You "didn't jump the queue" - you made a smarter choice! Similar principle imo.

@Lockheart

We cross posted exactly the same 😂

If this happened, then why didn't any of you have folding pushchairs? She was wrong to get violent, but you're all wrong for either having the wrong buggies for public transport or not using the folding function.

It used to be the norm that all buggies had to be folded and only after disabled people fought for more access to public transport did people start bringing large non-collapsable buggies on.

If they’re in a position where they’re ‘not letting wheelchair users on’ then the driver is failing at their job. I highly doubt this even happens anyway.

Yes, this happens. That's why there have been court cases to establish the rights in this situation; however, in the moment it can be hard to enforce if a driver closes the doors on you. Assholes in every profession and also those who'd rather not risk people kicking off.

And what would you be expected to do with a tiny baby in a lie flat bassinet that doesn't easily fold. Or a newborn in an expensive folding pram, who needs to be held with two hands, and a toddler?

The same thing mothers did before you could walk onto a bus with a pushchair? With my older two, everyone did that and planned accordingly.

When able, I'd just use the carrier for the smallest, including tiny baby, with a backpack and hold my toddlers hands. I've also done a baby in a carrier while using a wheelchair with toddlers, my spouse has done baby in a carrier with toddlers and a walking stick and the shopping, I've used a pushchair with my youngest when he was a toddler who I could no longer safely carry but he had form for dropping and refusing to get up with three other young children. Yes, I had to ask for help a couple times when folding was an issue, much as many other mums do when components get jammed, but I wouldn't bring a pushchair onto a bus that could not be easily folded by me in most circumstances even if sometimes I had to sit to do so as standing unaided wasn't going well. Been there, done that.

I know some people get caught out in many ways - weren't planning to need a bus that day, the device just refuses to fold or our body won't cooperate to do it, but when planning to use public transport, plan the tools for the job. The idea that needing a folding pushchair or a carrier for public transport would leave mothers housebound baffles me - I've been bedbound and housebound and that's really not the same thing as needing the right tool for the job.

Couldn't be arsed fighting with people for space/pitted against wheelchair users

People with buggies are not "pitted against" wheelchair users. People with buggies are stealing the space from wheelchair users.

People with disabilities fought hard & long to have what is still just this minimal provision on public transport.

It's not exactly public spirited, is it.

If Alfie was a mum with a push chair...

She shouldn't have shoved you of course. But I completely understand her wanting to.

I did this at school as well. It's commonsense.

When my DD was small I use to use a baby carrier. So I could get on the bus and get a seat while those with pushchairs couldn't get on the bus at all. Some of those buggy pushers looked pissed off with me but didn't say anything.

Well, as you say you broke no rules, but I would say it was morally shitty. Especially not folding when you could have done so when you knew that one of them wouldn't be able to get on a a result.

Strangely, people managed before buses too

Yeah, let's go back to the good old days when women rarely left their village unless they had a private carriage handy.

I seriously wonder if anyone suggesting folding a buggy here has been on a bus? Perhaps in the old days bus drivers used to wait until everyone sat down until they set off. Now a lot of them drive like a dick, barrelling straight into traffic and accelerating like they are in a drag race, sending anyone still vertical and not holding on extremely firmly absolutely flying. And they take corners like they are in a grand prix, even 20 years ago I saw people fall off the old routemasters onto the road as the driver took the corner so sharply.

Not RTFT but you were sensible by going round the corner. Clearly it wasn't that far to walk so they could have done the same.

I would also do it even without a buggy if I thought there was a better chance of getting a seat.

Very odd that people think you were selfish and unreasonable. Only because they wouldn't think of it themselves. Maybe next time they will!

You're an absolute genius! I would never had thought of that.

BUT, knowing they were waiting, I would have probably folded up the pushchair if I could have.

I agree with you - but pushchair user and wheelchair users are pitted against one another for space when they shouldn't be - if there were another bus along in five minutes people wouldn't mind waiting. Public transport is inadequate, that's the issue.

I think everyone comes off badly here

I say this as a regular bus user in a city - you need to get a sling or a folding pram. What a risky game to play relying on pram space on a bus that comes every 30 minutes.

I myself often travel back one stop when its busy on busses and trains, but i am not mean-spirited enough to do it KNOWING it meant that someone would not have been able to board with a pram. I would have folded, or spoke to them and seen who had the easiest pram to fold.

We live out of town, and to be honest I used to walk (about 12 mins) across the village to get on four stops before nearest one to home to be guaranteed a space - at the time they'd usually be 4-5 hoping to get that bus. Unless someone is disabled, they're at liberty to do the same thing.

Yes a sling etc is great. But I struggled to carry DDs on me very far after they were a few months old as they were big babies and they hurt my back/affected my balance (especially DD2 who is now 5'9" aged 13), even though I was fit and healthy and had a straightforward pregnancy. Plus a lot of women have SPD and so in pregnancy or pre-existing conditions which means they can't use a sling.

I've been on more than one bus in my part of London where bus drivers have allowed a mum to fold down a buggy before driving off so more buggies can fit on.

They have also allowed more buggies than they should on the bus due to it being in the middle of the day and raining.

This morning one stopped for me to let my daughter on when were weren't at a bus stop. On other occasions they have waited for people particularly young children running for the bus at a bus stop.

I've overheard from bus drivers more than once that they behave differently to the public depending on the area of London they are driving in.

Don't people fold down their pushchairs as a matter of course when using public transport?

It would never even occur to me not to.

Got my car back from the garage. I’ll give them a toot and a wave if they are at the bus stop when I drive past later!