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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know IABU, blatantly using this for traffic. Emergency situation, no ambulance still, and need advice

765 replies

TheChinkOfaGlass · 19/12/2022 16:35

Hi everyone

My Auntie had a fall this morning and has seriously hurt her hip. Luckily she was close enough to the bed to get herself up on it.

999 said it is not an emergency and to contact 111, she was in severe agony and is 78 years old. I rang 111 who after assessing her, decided she did indeed need an ambulance.

I had originally offered to take her to the hospital but she lives on the top floor of a maisonette, and is unable to sit up (so a car journey would be no good and I would be unable to carry her to the car anyway. I did get help but she declined due to the inability to even sit up).

Her husband is disabled so isn't much use (I mean this in the nicest possible way, he is trying his best) other than keeping an eye on her.

So we could be waiting hours for an ambulance but in the meantime she is soaked through on the bed due to urinating on herself. I am going there in the next 30 minutes.

Is it safe to roll her to change the sheets to make her more comfortable? I don't like the idea of her lying in a soaking bed while she waits. I am also scared of causing more pain/damage by moving her. We do not know what's wrong, she thinks it may he her hip. I just don't know what to do. I have never experienced this kind of thing.

Her partner has managed to change her underwear but when the bed is so wet, it wouldn't really make a difference.

OP posts:
peridito · 21/12/2022 08:49

GiantPurplePeopleHater · Today 08:47

This thread is breaking my heart 😞
I was chatting to my husband about it, he was disgusted.
He is a firefighter and suggested you make your aunt as warm and comfortable as poss, access to food and water then for you all to leave the house, call the fire brigade to say your aunt is in there alone, has fallen and you can’t get in. They would come to a shout like this and “break in” While they don’t carry pain relief, they would have the equipment and skills to move her safely and also have more direct access to control to get a response medic there (though today’s strikes won’t help) with pain relief

I like your husbands thinking !

LauraSaidIShouldBeNicer · 21/12/2022 09:00

At this point I would be moving her. I hope she gets sorted this is heartbreaking

Wakk · 21/12/2022 09:01

I hope she's made it to hospital now. It's awful

BatshitBanshee · 21/12/2022 09:02

GiantPurplePeopleHater · 21/12/2022 08:47

This thread is breaking my heart 😞
I was chatting to my husband about it, he was disgusted.
He is a firefighter and suggested you make your aunt as warm and comfortable as poss, access to food and water then for you all to leave the house, call the fire brigade to say your aunt is in there alone, has fallen and you can’t get in. They would come to a shout like this and “break in” While they don’t carry pain relief, they would have the equipment and skills to move her safely and also have more direct access to control to get a response medic there (though today’s strikes won’t help) with pain relief.
…..Also call your MP; it’s disgraceful that this old lady is being left like this 😞

This is probably your best bet today OP if your aunt hasn't been seen already, but I hope she has.

Schlaar · 21/12/2022 09:12

My mother died a few years ago after a fall .And a very lengthy (4 hours )wait for an ambulance
My relative nearly died after a 5hr wait for an ambulance. It wasn’t the fall or the broken bone that nearly killed her - it was lying on the floor which caused the muscle to die, then the body broke down the dead muscle a couple of days later which led to organ failure. People think that once a person is taken to hospital they’ll be fine, but that’s not the case. A long wait for an ambulance can cause death which could have been avoided with a quick response. And a lucky survivor will have lost their ability to walk due to lying immobile for so long.

I learnt from that I should have made more frequent and explicit calls to ambulance and also that gas and air was a real help
They tell you not to keep calling back. It’s bollocks. You need to be a thorn in their side and tell lies about how serious the person’s condition is. It’s awful to be put in that situation where you have to lie, but it might be the only way to save your relative’s life.

TerraNostra · 21/12/2022 09:18

If no ambulance yet, suggest contact your local paper. They will be very interested in a story like this at the moment and will also possibly be able to pull strings.

Howthehelldoiknow · 21/12/2022 09:26

I hope the poor old lady is in hospital now 🙏😢 Shocking situation to be in!

Howthehelldoiknow · 21/12/2022 09:31

And also why are the bloody journalists not picking this thread up and printing it in the paper...... They do with all the other bloody threads.... So come on you useless idiots from the sun/mirror/mail etc. print this story in your papers!!!

Mamamia32 · 21/12/2022 09:51

Just watched bbc news thinking of your aunt. Paramedics are attending cat 1 calls, possibly some cat 2 and the army has been drafted in to help drive ambulances, but not to provide medical help. If an ambulance hasn't come already I don't think one will be coming today.

I would be calling her GP today to see if a prescription for pain relief could be sent through to the pharmacy. Explain that you will need to take her to hospital yourself, and don't want to move her before she's had some adequate pain relief. You could ask your local community pages if anyone has a wheelchair you could borrow and organise a wheelchair friendly taxi. If aunt needs to be flat and absolutely cannot manage even a wheelchair, call the fire brigade for help. I'm so sorry will be checking back for updates. Hoping she is in hospital already.

Bluekerfuffle · 21/12/2022 10:00

ClangingBell · 21/12/2022 08:14

Anyone trying to claim things were bad under Labour too needs to look up literally any statistic about waiting times, funding, quality of care. The conservatives have done this because their ideology matters more than the ordinary person’s suffering.

I remember under Labour you would be given a date for a hospital appointment and about a week before that date you would get a letter cancelling and giving a new date several weeks/months later. The waiting times might look better under them, but they were manipulated to look that way.

StrongTea · 21/12/2022 10:07

Keep checking for updates, so upsetting reading this.

tulips27 · 21/12/2022 10:08

GiantPurplePeopleHater · 21/12/2022 08:47

This thread is breaking my heart 😞
I was chatting to my husband about it, he was disgusted.
He is a firefighter and suggested you make your aunt as warm and comfortable as poss, access to food and water then for you all to leave the house, call the fire brigade to say your aunt is in there alone, has fallen and you can’t get in. They would come to a shout like this and “break in” While they don’t carry pain relief, they would have the equipment and skills to move her safely and also have more direct access to control to get a response medic there (though today’s strikes won’t help) with pain relief.
…..Also call your MP; it’s disgraceful that this old lady is being left like this 😞

I think this is your best option, OP.

justasking111 · 21/12/2022 10:12

BeethovenNinth · 21/12/2022 08:05

The Labour government is in charge in Wales. What makes anyone think it will be better under Starmer?

this is the orchestrated dismantling of the NHS

It's been going on for years. Had a lovely GP who'd worked abroad for many years as a doctor. Her marriage broke down, her mother frail. So she came back to Wales. She was adamant that the system was being broken down then. The elderly were being deliberately left on the longest waiting lists by managers not consultants and surgeons. This was years ago in Wales

Wheresthebeach · 21/12/2022 10:12

Praying your aunt is in hospital now

uncomfortablydumb53 · 21/12/2022 10:37

Checking in again to say I'm still thinking of you both
Simply heartbreaking

peridito · 21/12/2022 10:56

They tell you not to keep calling back. It’s bollocks. You need to be a thorn in their side and tell lies about how serious the person’s condition is. It’s awful to be put in that situation where you have to lie, but it might be the only way to save your relative’s life.
I didn't really need to tell lies ,but I needed to present her case better .I was distressed myself and when not quite myself tend to obey authority and be anxious about exaggeration .Yes ,my mother was breathing and was able to speak .But actually she was drifting in and out of consciousness .Which I didn't immediately realise .In her last years she often closed her eyes and was quiet for periods and I wasn't about to start pressing her for responses when she was on the floor and in pain .
And I didn't know whether she'd hit her head or not .And who knew that when told "the ambulance is coming" I should have asked whether it was coming with lights .And if not ,why not .

Original poster
TheChinkOfaGlass · 21/12/2022 11:12

Good morning, apologies for the delay in updating - I know you have been worried.

Ambulance arrived around 11.30pm. Aunt tried to play it all down ffs!! She has been taken and they hope to get her seen to at some point today.

Meanwhile, I have been dealing with health problems of my Mum. Sugar levels of 26, wetting herself, diabetic type 2. Have got a urine sample and waiting for nurse to call back with the results. Hoping it is a UTI to rule out anything else as if it's not, I am going to have to take her to hospital tonight.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and help, you have been amazing.

I will of course, keep you updated.

OP posts:
TheClogLady · 21/12/2022 11:16

Phew! What a relief.

at least now you have the headspace and time to concentrate on your mum.

Hope Auntie gets to see a doctor soon.

how long was the wait in the end?

Whatafielddayfortheheat · 21/12/2022 11:18

So glad she got taken in the end. Your aunt and you have not been far from my thoughts! I hope you got a rest OP.

Hope your mum improves. At least if she needs hospital treatment someone should be able to drive her so no more ambulance waiting!!

MistressoftheDarkSide · 21/12/2022 11:20

Thank you for the update OP x

So glad your Aunt is at least heading towards the care she so rightly deserves....

And sending best wishes for your Mum x

I am also sending respect and love to you - anyone who has to juggle the needs of their elderly kin will know how hard it is and although there's feck all bar suggestions and supportive words that anonymous internet people can do, I hope it has helped in the smallest way x

And I hope you get some rest and comfort for yourself very soon x

Sending much love ❤️

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 21/12/2022 11:22

I feel for you op. Doing all the running around and organising things. It is very wearing.
You deserve a good rest on Xmas day! Have a big glass of wine :) x

ParrotsAteThemAll · 21/12/2022 11:31

What a relief! I hope your Aunt makes a good recovery.

In regards to your mum, is she able to check her ketones (using her glucose monitor)? Does she a quick acting insulin prescribed (normally Novarapid)? This will bring her glucose levels down.

Hopefully she will get the treatment she needs.

Sorry you’re going through all this stress.

ArabellaScott · 21/12/2022 11:35

Thank goodness your aunt is being cared for, OP. And I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, that's a lot to deal with all at once!

Wishing you a restful and peaceful time soon.

EmmaAgain22 · 21/12/2022 11:40

ArabellaScott · 21/12/2022 11:35

Thank goodness your aunt is being cared for, OP. And I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, that's a lot to deal with all at once!

Wishing you a restful and peaceful time soon.

Seconded. Flowers

Francisca459 · 21/12/2022 11:44

TerraNostra · 21/12/2022 09:18

If no ambulance yet, suggest contact your local paper. They will be very interested in a story like this at the moment and will also possibly be able to pull strings.

I suggested same yesterday. I know from many previous personal work experiences that stories like this reach the top. If you can shame and embarrass that's excellent. If you can get people fearing for their jobs and reputations it's even better. But you need a photo to be sure the press take it.
I'm so sorry for OP and Auntie. Can we do anything from a distance?

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