To be happy about breaking up a week before Christmas

[ThePriceOfSugar]

It's over! I had a whole thing planned for Christmas, I'm very good at making things feel special. However, he chose to pick a fight with me last weekend in the middle of an otherwise nice afternoon, and annihilated my character, insulting everything about me, from my style of texting to the way I cuddle and making sure he got in jibes about our intimate life. He managed to say "I don't love you or have loving feelings towards you" in the same breath as "everything wrong in this relationship is your fault".

He thought I'd cry and acquiesce and try to make peace, as usual, because I didn't want my plans ruined or to feel scared. But instead he finds himself single. And the last few days, I've woken up calm, knowing I've followed my instincts.

I'm going to eat Chinese food and get drunk on champagne with my Jewish friend on the 25th. AIBU to ask for your BEST breakup survival techniques and tips?

Ho ho ho 🎄

Also taking suggestions for antics in front of the security camera. I make a face every time but there have to be more creative ideas.

Buy or get friends to lend you interesting items to walk in and out with (inflatable dinosaur, cat o nine tails, sparkly platform shoes, a 'discreet' bag from a high end lingerie shop, glorious flowers, an individual cupcake, large box, pull along wagon anything slightly odd really).

It'll drive him nuts wondering what you're up to

You've been so sensible and brave...my ex treated me like this all the time...for a long time before I had the courage to leave, your Christmas sounds heavenly.

Solo Christmas update 😊

On my way out to the theatre last night I tripped over a bag of gifts from my ex on my doorstep, which came with a note. It was short and said little of emotional value, stuff like "I think about you all the time and wish I could share my thoughts with you" and "think of me with love, I never stopped loving you" (funny how dramatically his tune has changed). He obviously has exploited his landlord powers to enter my building uninvited.

I went out to the show with a friend and enjoyed cocktails with her until 2am, the bartenders giving us lots of free treats.

This morning another friend messaged me saying "do you want a surprise?". She had me do a warmer-colder hunt for a present she had hidden in my apartment days ago. It was a black velvet mini dress. She sent me THAT picture of princess Diana and said "it's a revenge dress ;)".

I am overwhelmed by the loving actions of my friends. The mortifying ordeal of a breakup is mitigated by the rewards of being loved. I'm so lucky.

Not sure what to do about the ex gifts though. Any thoughts?

I know you're meant to stay silent and ignore but oh the temptation to message "well you've changed your tune. Shame it's too little too late" would be enormous!

Can you leave the unopened gifts at his front door ?

Whatever you do don't give him the gifts you've bought for him - you'll be back where you were last week if you do.

Hopefully you've kept the receipts and can get your money back after Christmas

saves on Christmas pressies 👍

Ha! He's not getting anything from me, that's for sure.

Returning the gifts sends a strong message, but is also a hassle. Silence seems to be the best option for my emotional health and also the most painful for him.

I dreamt about breaking up with him last night, all the tears and emotional torture and uncertainty. Then I woke up and it was 2 weeks down the line. Such a relief.

some bloke dumper Mr just before Xmas one year Be I used all his Xmas pressies for my mN abd brother and other ppl. The= wre well revCieved.

@FrightfullyFreezy I wanna be on your level of tipsiness in a couple of hours

Well done OP!! I was mentally abused by my ex and finally left him today after he ruined Xmas a second year running! He used to hit me bit now gets his kicks from emotional abuse. I won't let me baby girl grow up thinking that it's OK to be spoken to like that or think it's normal to be with someone who makes you cry.

@thelittlesquish we both need to grow our self-esteem. It's a cliché, but we really do accept the love we think we deserve.

Update: I spent the 25th in the suburbs with my friend's family, who were really welcoming and kind and also lovingly showed me their traditions, including having 7 people yelling at my friend, trying to light the menorah, about how she should be doing it differently.
I brought a case of prosecco and they sourced the orange chicken.

Came home feeling warm and grateful that I have people who would welcome me like that.

Tonight, drinks with a young Italian attorney. Keep busy, sad girls!