DP Stag

[DementedGrace]

Hello MN's

I have been with my lovely DP for 1 year. We plan to spend the rest of our lives together. We have both been married previously and know exactly what we want from life, a relationship and each other.

DP has not made it a secret to friends that he loves me, wants to marry me, says I am the one. It's all very sweet. He called me up drunk at his Christmas night out at the weekend to tell me that all his friends were asking when his stag would be. He said as a joke, they mentioned Las Vegas or Bangkok. I ultimately got a bit annoyed and said I would not be happy with Bangkok - he agreed and said he said no to both, that he isnt going that far away for a few nights.

We then got chatting about his past stag do and he said he had two and would like two again this time around - one in the UK and one abroad. I asked where he had his last stags and he said Newcastle or Manchester (for the races then a night out - I cant remember exactly) and then Riga in Latvia.

I asked if there was strippers / strip clubs and he said no, he said there was lots of drinking and there was two days they didnt leave the hotel as it was freezing and they just drank. He said it was a very tame stag. I then expressed how uncomfortable I was with Bangkok and googled that with "mumsnet" at the end to see if I was in the wrong. I then started reading, jokingly, a thread to him where a woman was unhappy her DP (who in the end didnt go!) going to Thailand for a stag. He couldnt stop laughing, kept tickling me and said it was a stupid comment made in relation to the hangover movies!

He said he wouldnt be going to either location for a stag, it was only a joke. He then assured me there would be no strippers / hookers / prostites at his stag, ever.

I am a bit miffed why he needs two stags and why one has to be abroad. Not happy with his friends suggesting Thailand either. I said there would be no wedding if it was to take place in Thailand.

AIBU?

He said he wasn't interested in those things and never has been and she continued to read him the riot act...

I agree that the OP has boundaries and respect her for having them. If only everyone had them, such as not having affairs with married men or married women, for example.

My objections would go in a different way to the OP to begin with. If we are to reduce flying and the impact it has on the planet, stag and hen dos a long way away should be the first to stop, not family holidays or flights to see older relatives who cannot travel to you.

@JorisBonson Doncaster might be preferable.
theres nothing here anymore just a few crappy clubs and pubs

Latvia is a destination for sex tourism, not sure any city in the UK compares, I wouldn't think much of a bloke who chose riga for stag do, but I'm obviously not a cool dp

@Devoutspoken really? I went there and absolutely loved it, didn't see anything dodgy at all although I suppose it's there if you go looking for it!

What do you think happens on stag do's? They don't need to go to Thailand for doing anything "questionable" and I'm assuming that as you want to spend your life with him he isn't like that so you don't need to worry about it?

My theory on stag do's is "ask no questions - be told no lies". Trust that he won't do anything dodgy

Amsterdam, Thailand, Bangkok ... certain places are dodgy for a stag, and chosen for one reason only 😒

So, you're not actually engaged. And he isn't actually planning a stag do. And he's said that if he did have a stag do he wouldn't go to a strip club. But you're annoyed with him about the details of a hypothetical stag do that isn't even in the planning stages yet?

Yikes.