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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Celebrity sex dream

45 replies

ThreeblackCats · 19/12/2022 09:34

AIBU to be so upset that this morning I woke from a nasty dream and really needed a cuddle from ever loving DH and he was already up, so by time I found him I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
I’d dreamt that I was…. having an affair with Matt Hancock!

It was so clear, he had taken me to a huge luxury hotel in london and we were hugging and kissing. Then I found he had hidden five coins under the bed, my cat on a lead made of string and I dumped my broken old vacuum cleaner in a cupboard. Then my husband arrived and I was still lying to him, I told DH it wasn’t what it looked like but I was working for Matt Hancock.

I think I’m suffering PTSD. It doesn’t help that DH is still giggling at me because I’m still traumatised.

please share your weirdest dreams, I really need the distraction today.

OP posts:
hosyyy · 19/12/2022 09:43

I'd wash my brain with bleach if that happened to me

Spidey66 · 19/12/2022 09:45

Billy Mitchell from Eastenders.😳

BiscuitLover3678 · 19/12/2022 09:45

Oh dear you poor thing!

My dreams are constantly bizarre. No celebrities recently but I’ll keep you posted!

TheGuv1982 · 19/12/2022 09:45

Topically had one last night - not as sordid as a Matt Hancock affair I’m afraid.

I had something in my head and the doctor had to drill into it to get it out. Just as the procedure was about to start, I asked if it was going to hurt and he said “no you’ll be asleep” and with that I dreamt waking up and it was all finished.

ThreeblackCats · 19/12/2022 09:49

Thank you @BiscuitLover3678

I feel so dirty, why did it have to be MH? Although I am laughing now, I wasn’t when I woke.

OP posts:
Helendee · 19/12/2022 09:50

I can trump that unfortunately. I once dreamed that I was having sex with Gerry Adams and believe me, I abhor that monster with every cell in my body!

BiscuitLover3678 · 19/12/2022 09:51

I’ve has unpleasant work colleagues. Does that help? One particularly awful one who used to pick his nose at his desk (which was right next to mine) and used to ear greasy fried chicken, not wash his hands, then often take my desk and touch all my stuff. Shudders.

mothertrucking · 19/12/2022 09:56

Not so long ago I had a dream me and Rishi were a couple 🤮 he was so nice in my dream. When I woke up I felt grubby all day

ThreeblackCats · 19/12/2022 10:00

I feel your pain. @mothertrucking . That’s just how I feel, I’m upset I was lying to my DH and upset it was for Matt Hancock. Luckily I’ve gained some perspective now. Oh the therapeutic power of Mumsnet chat.

OP posts:
Tarkan · 19/12/2022 10:05

None of my nightmares will ever be as bad as the time many years ago when I had a sex dream about Paul Daniels. He had very wandering hands and was incredibly persistent.

He was still alive at the time and I couldn't watch him on TV after that.

CornedBeef451 · 19/12/2022 10:06

Terry Wogan. I'm still scarred by it and it was almost 20 years ago.

mothertrucking · 19/12/2022 10:06

I told a colleague that morning and I felt ashamed even speaking about it!

Piffle11 · 19/12/2022 10:08

Last night I dreamt I was trying to kiss DS Ben Jones from Midsummer murders, and somehow ended up kissing Kim Kardashian instead.

The best celebrity dream I ever had was me and Timothée Chalamet: I am much older than him, but in the dream I was as young as him. Now that was an excellent dream. I was devastated to wake up Wink

TheRealHousewife · 19/12/2022 10:28

I keep dreaming of James Martin. He’s the one pursuing me! I know he’s a lot of older ladies fantasies but I definitely don’t like him in that way. In the last dream he was wearing a black cowboy boot and a white cowboy boot, a Stetson… and not much else 😮🫣🤭

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 19/12/2022 10:50

That's sounds absolutely awful... 'my cat on a lead made of string'.
No wonder you were traumatised, poor cat.

flossymuldoon · 19/12/2022 10:50

Simon Cowell. And it’s happened more than once 😳

KimberleyClark · 19/12/2022 10:53

I one dreamt I was being passionately pursued by Bill Clinton. I think it was while he was POTUS. He just kept turning up wherever I was.

APJ1 · 19/12/2022 14:07

@CornedBeef451 Did you give him a "douze points" at the end?

neverbeenskiing · 19/12/2022 14:15

Poor you, OP. I still can't get over the fact that MH found two women willing to sleep with him IRL! Still, at least it wasn't Jacob Rees-Mogg.

I think I’m suffering PTSD

I don't mean to be a dick, I know it's a lighthearted thread, but as someone who has actual PTSD please don't do this. My disability isn't a joke. Thanks.

OooScotland · 19/12/2022 14:23

I admit to having rewatched the same six episodes of Midsummer Murders (which I don’t like normally) a few times just for the lovely DS Ben Jones.

I first crushed on Jason Hughes back in the 90’s when he was on ‘This Life’ - still always pleased to see him when he pops up on something. Never dreamt about him though, maybe one day!

OooScotland · 19/12/2022 14:25

TheRealHousewife · 19/12/2022 10:28

I keep dreaming of James Martin. He’s the one pursuing me! I know he’s a lot of older ladies fantasies but I definitely don’t like him in that way. In the last dream he was wearing a black cowboy boot and a white cowboy boot, a Stetson… and not much else 😮🫣🤭

I get you.

CornedBeef451 · 19/12/2022 14:28

@APJ1 that made me shudder...and not in a good way.

I wouldn't mind if it had been Terry as a younger man but he was very old in my dream. Still charming though.

faw2009 · 19/12/2022 14:36

The other night I dreamt my husband had bought a giant turtle and I was so cross because we would need a huge tank to keep it and he hadn't thought of that had he, and so it ended up in the bath and all I could think of was how was I going to clean up the poo?

I have a lot of strange dreams. Celebrity wise: the onion Knight from Game of Thrones, Shane Ritchie... non-celebrity wise, the ones involving ex boyfriends, those leave me feeling a little guilty!

ThreeblackCats · 19/12/2022 15:03

Love the giant turtle @faw2009

OP posts:
RosetteNebula · 19/12/2022 15:13

I had one about John Bishop once - I was back at school/6th form and he was my friend's Dad. they lived in a house surrounded by water and I swam to it to go and have sex with him. I love John Bishop tbf although he is a lot older than me!