Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on holiday with this man?

88 replies

seankay · 17/12/2022 21:14

I'm a thirty year old woman and around 6 years ago I met a man who is now 44.

So back then I was 24 and he was 38. We met in a bar, me with my friend and him with him. I was very drunk, me and him shared a kiss and he then put me in a taxi, waved me off and that was the last time I seen him.

However, on the night, I gave him my name and he added me on Facebook. Since then we have been in touch every few months. He has had a few girlfriends in the meantime and I have remained single. But we have always talked.

A lot of our chat has been dirty, I'd say I've never spoken to anyone as dirty as him and I have found it exciting over the years due to my being single.

He has a good job but I must say I do often wonder, if he is 'all that' why is he still single at 44. Last week he asked me if I'd be free to go abroad with him in February, on him (bearing in mind I haven't seen him in person since 6 years ago, although we have spoke on the phone and text).

To be honest I am totally tempted but before I mention this to my friends and family I need someone to tell me whether this is an awful idea or a very romantic one.

He has tried to get me out on dates very recently but I've been so busy and to be honest, I'm not sure how interested I am.

OP posts:
Mistonthemountains · 17/12/2022 21:15

Oh God this is such an awful idea I think the post must be a wind up.

Greensleevevssnotnose · 17/12/2022 21:16

I would in your shoes, just have enough money yo get home if it takes a dark turn

Stichintime · 17/12/2022 21:17

It's a bit rash going abroad with him without any dates before hand. You may get the ick before you land! I'd definitely make time to see him a few times, before going anywhere too far.

IWishItCouldBeChristmasEveryday · 17/12/2022 21:17

No. Just no. Get to know him better in person first.

Dacadactyl · 17/12/2022 21:19

I'd want him to take me out a few times in the UK first.

icelolly12 · 17/12/2022 21:19

I must say I do often wonder, if he is 'all that' why is he still single at 44

Are you sure he's single?

Original poster
seankay · 17/12/2022 21:20

icelolly12 · 17/12/2022 21:19

I must say I do often wonder, if he is 'all that' why is he still single at 44

Are you sure he's single?

100 percent

OP posts:
minticecreamisjustok · 17/12/2022 21:20

No of course not, you've not dated him to see how well you'd get on before going on holiday, perhaps there is a good reason why multiple relationships have failed for him, like he could be a dickhead? why would even contemplate this, he had 6 years to ask you out on a date if he was that interested. I expect he's been dumped and looking for a replacement at short notice.

Original poster
seankay · 17/12/2022 21:22

minticecreamisjustok · 17/12/2022 21:20

No of course not, you've not dated him to see how well you'd get on before going on holiday, perhaps there is a good reason why multiple relationships have failed for him, like he could be a dickhead? why would even contemplate this, he had 6 years to ask you out on a date if he was that interested. I expect he's been dumped and looking for a replacement at short notice.

He has asked me on dates the past six years, I've never been interested. It's only now that I'm starting to feel differently.

OP posts:
Rainbowshit · 17/12/2022 21:22

FFS. No.

Oysterbabe · 17/12/2022 21:26

seankay · 17/12/2022 21:22

He has asked me on dates the past six years, I've never been interested. It's only now that I'm starting to feel differently.

Show quote history

What has changed?

Reindeersnooker · 17/12/2022 21:26

Of course you shouldn't.

MolesOnPoles · 17/12/2022 21:27

I might if I was up for an adventure - with separate hotel rooms and enough ready cash to flit if I didn’t want to be there any more.

LaLuz7 · 17/12/2022 21:29

Very bad idea from a safety perspective.

You would be very vulnerable.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 17/12/2022 21:32

So go on a date - don’t go abroad

CloudSunLeavesCoud · 17/12/2022 21:37

I’d reply ‘Maybe a few dates in the uk first if you’re still up for that?’. Can’t you do a few dates and then decide about the holiday?

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 17/12/2022 21:37

Jesus no with bells on!

Your talk with him is mostly dirty and sexual, he knows what he wants from you there then. You haven’t wanted to date him in 6 years, that’s your gut telling you he’s a wrong un and to steer well clear.

I do think if he’s single at 44, he’s probably used up all his other options. I once was platonic best friends with a man who was a similar age who liked dating women with a similar age gap to yours so he could control them and also pass on his style, wisdom, knowledge etc. He then lived with a woman who was a similar age and colour to him (he was black and preferred white women before). This ended and he confided to me he was upset and he couldn’t find women to date as easily as before.

If you want a fun no strings holiday then go for it but don’t go if you want a relationship to develop.

Justcallmebebes · 17/12/2022 21:37

What go on holiday with a random stranger you've met once, 6 years ago when you were so drunk you can barely remember what he looked like? You've had random online communication since but never felt like meeting up?

Of course you should go away with him, what could possibly go wrong? Confused

dolor · 17/12/2022 21:39

Try going on a few dates with him before making a decision. If he doesn't want to, then you know not to go on the trip.

PacificallyRequested · 17/12/2022 21:41

Sounds like a great idea with absolutely no chance whatsoever of anything going wrong.

NoelNoNoel · 17/12/2022 21:43

He wants to treat you to a holiday so he can week long sex with you.

Whattodo182 · 17/12/2022 21:44

PacificallyRequested · 17/12/2022 21:41

Sounds like a great idea with absolutely no chance whatsoever of anything going wrong.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

RoseAndRose · 17/12/2022 21:44

If you're not interested enough to date him, it's definitely bad idea to go away with him

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 17/12/2022 21:48

There is nothing ‘romantic’ about this, but if you want to go and have lots of sex, then go!

But bear in mind you will be sharing a room 24/7 with a man you do not really know.

BatshitBanshee · 17/12/2022 21:49

Go on a date first. It would bother me that a lot of your chat is sex based - as far as he could be concerned you're a sure thing for a dirty weekend.

See if you like him first in your home country.

Swipe left for the next trending thread