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AIBU?

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Original poster

To go on holiday with this man?

88 replies

seankay · 17/12/2022 21:14

I'm a thirty year old woman and around 6 years ago I met a man who is now 44.

So back then I was 24 and he was 38. We met in a bar, me with my friend and him with him. I was very drunk, me and him shared a kiss and he then put me in a taxi, waved me off and that was the last time I seen him.

However, on the night, I gave him my name and he added me on Facebook. Since then we have been in touch every few months. He has had a few girlfriends in the meantime and I have remained single. But we have always talked.

A lot of our chat has been dirty, I'd say I've never spoken to anyone as dirty as him and I have found it exciting over the years due to my being single.

He has a good job but I must say I do often wonder, if he is 'all that' why is he still single at 44. Last week he asked me if I'd be free to go abroad with him in February, on him (bearing in mind I haven't seen him in person since 6 years ago, although we have spoke on the phone and text).

To be honest I am totally tempted but before I mention this to my friends and family I need someone to tell me whether this is an awful idea or a very romantic one.

He has tried to get me out on dates very recently but I've been so busy and to be honest, I'm not sure how interested I am.

OP posts:
Daffodilis · 18/12/2022 09:22

Bit dramatic and tongue in cheek, but for all you really know he could be a serial killer.

Wishimaywishimight · 18/12/2022 09:29

He's essentially paying for a week of sex. If you're on board with that go ahead.

piedbeauty · 18/12/2022 09:41

No.
If you were meant to be together you would have met up over the last six years, not just sexted.

LonginesPrime · 18/12/2022 10:10

If you've not been interested in him for the past six years, why are you suddenly attracted to the idea of him abroad? He'll still be him, wherever you go.

At best, he's just using you to fill the space he'd reserved for his (now ex) girlfriend on the holiday, but at worst, he could be a rapist, psycho murderer or sex trafficker.

You've never spent any time with him so you have no idea what he's actually like. It's no different from agreeing to go home with one of the creepy strangers who proposition single women travelling home on the night bus.

You could always book a holiday alone or with a friend if you want a holiday - you don't have to be someone's back-up girlfriend and risk your safety to such a crazy degree just to get some sun.

LaLuz7 · 18/12/2022 10:57

Wishimaywishimight · 18/12/2022 09:29

He's essentially paying for a week of sex. If you're on board with that go ahead.

Yes. This set-up has very distinct sugar baby vibes. Which is just prostitution with extra steps. Grim...

NoelNoNoel · 18/12/2022 11:29

It’s too risky, what if he wears Crocs?

Oysterbabe · 18/12/2022 11:59

Or has breath like a camel?

FictionalCharacter · 18/12/2022 15:12

@MyAutocorrectWishesMeDeaj ”Assuming you’re a fully functioning adult you should be capable of keeping yourself sober enough to say no to anything you don’t want to do.” - unfortunately saying “no” doesn’t always work, and the less well you know someone the higher the risk.

EndlessRain1 · 18/12/2022 15:15

Go on a date where you live. Take it from there. If you can't find it in you to make time for a date or two then don't go on holiday with this man.

Original poster
seankay · 18/12/2022 17:38

NoelNoNoel · 18/12/2022 11:29

It’s too risky, what if he wears Crocs?

I wear crocs 🤣

OP posts:
AbreathofFrenchair · 18/12/2022 17:51

seankay · 17/12/2022 21:14

I'm a thirty year old woman and around 6 years ago I met a man who is now 44.

So back then I was 24 and he was 38. We met in a bar, me with my friend and him with him. I was very drunk, me and him shared a kiss and he then put me in a taxi, waved me off and that was the last time I seen him.

However, on the night, I gave him my name and he added me on Facebook. Since then we have been in touch every few months. He has had a few girlfriends in the meantime and I have remained single. But we have always talked.

A lot of our chat has been dirty, I'd say I've never spoken to anyone as dirty as him and I have found it exciting over the years due to my being single.

He has a good job but I must say I do often wonder, if he is 'all that' why is he still single at 44. Last week he asked me if I'd be free to go abroad with him in February, on him (bearing in mind I haven't seen him in person since 6 years ago, although we have spoke on the phone and text).

To be honest I am totally tempted but before I mention this to my friends and family I need someone to tell me whether this is an awful idea or a very romantic one.

He has tried to get me out on dates very recently but I've been so busy and to be honest, I'm not sure how interested I am.

If you're not that interested, dont bother going on the holiday, especially if he is paying for the holiday, it makes you look grabby.

Why are you concerned that if "he's all that why is he single?" You've stayed single all this time, what's wrong with you?!

ChristmasFluff · 18/12/2022 18:15

Yeah, go on holiday with this stranger. What could possibly go wrong?

Rainpigeon · 18/12/2022 19:14

I have been in a similar situation! I went, had lots of sex and it was fun. Just make sure you have an escape plan on case it goes wrong and people who you trust know where you are. I definitely think you should meet him for a date before you agree. Be careful.

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