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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu ? Over sensitive. Dh and Christmas

83 replies

Busytimes · 17/12/2022 18:03

Dh hates christmas.
yesterday i started decorating.
him . Isnt it too early .? i hate it . ( one small tree and a christmas star)
was going to do lights outside .. oh are we ?

today
post supermarket shop
me ooh got lots cheeses .
dh ooh nice
me and three types stuffing .
why did you do that

treat drink out
we must not be frivolus

he does nothing for c mas apart from wrap
i buy gifts all year round so that things are chewper
eg
i got a beautiful half price gift in summer for a gift for now . It takes effort and awareness .

ive been careful, thoughtful, frugal .

yes things are tight but not unmangable. Ive offered to get more work .
surely christmas is the one time to be frivolous?
its the attitude.
out grown dc are coming i am try look after and treat
hes mentioned already they shoukd cook too . Ive told him if they have travelled we should cook and host ar least for first four days or so without ask rhem to muck in ?

help me get some perspective please am cross 🤶

OP posts:
been and done it. · 17/12/2022 18:05

Busytimes · 17/12/2022 18:03

Dh hates christmas.
yesterday i started decorating.
him . Isnt it too early .? i hate it . ( one small tree and a christmas star)
was going to do lights outside .. oh are we ?

today
post supermarket shop
me ooh got lots cheeses .
dh ooh nice
me and three types stuffing .
why did you do that

treat drink out
we must not be frivolus

he does nothing for c mas apart from wrap
i buy gifts all year round so that things are chewper
eg
i got a beautiful half price gift in summer for a gift for now . It takes effort and awareness .

ive been careful, thoughtful, frugal .

yes things are tight but not unmangable. Ive offered to get more work .
surely christmas is the one time to be frivolous?
its the attitude.
out grown dc are coming i am try look after and treat
hes mentioned already they shoukd cook too . Ive told him if they have travelled we should cook and host ar least for first four days or so without ask rhem to muck in ?

help me get some perspective please am cross 🤶

If you've got grown children you must be used to living with scrooge..

HitMeWithAHotNoteAndWatchMeBounce · 17/12/2022 18:07

Why do people quote the OP? I’ve just read the OP, I don’t need it taking up massive space in the following posts…

OP - he wants a rise out of you. Why do you so willingly give it to him?

Goodywhoshoes · 17/12/2022 18:12

Fgs.
The op is right there. Why bloody quote it for the first response? Maddening!

OP he’s a misery guts but if he’s always been that way you must have found a way to ignore it all by now? Just enjoy your time with the adult DC and leave him to stew.

Original poster
Busytimes · 17/12/2022 18:15

Because
he made an effort when dc small
I expected he would be exited to make an effort for them as returning adukt dc for c mas !

OP posts:
been and done it. · 17/12/2022 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Busytimes · 17/12/2022 18:16

He is cooking tea sheepishly now .

OP posts:
user1473878824 · 17/12/2022 18:17

Sorry OP but the bunfight response has made my day. Thank you all.

PonyPatter44 · 17/12/2022 18:17

Do you buy him a Christmas present? Does his meanness extend to his own present?

Original poster
Busytimes · 17/12/2022 18:17

User .. be my guest 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Busytimes · 17/12/2022 18:18

Pony . Yes he does jot want anything .

OP posts:
Anapana · 17/12/2022 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

this

Original poster
Busytimes · 17/12/2022 18:20

I have bought something .
he will get something for me .
he wd be happy to get soemthing for me its just his utter lack of enthusiasim .
i dont massively live c mas but i do it out of live then get exited for others . I just wish he wd .

OP posts:
Original poster
Busytimes · 17/12/2022 18:21

Its the lack of joy !

OP posts:
Wayk · 17/12/2022 18:23

I love Xmas so appreciate how he acts must be awful for you. Hope you do have a lovely Xmas. Treat yourself, go for hot chocolate and enjoy yourself. Happy Xmas.

Original poster
Busytimes · 17/12/2022 18:23

Our dd is being her b friend for cmas

him . I dint want aniother son .
dd has told him someone who enjoys c mas is comming .. enjoy it .
he wont be grump in company i bet .

OP posts:
Itwasntevenblackpudding · 17/12/2022 18:25

Anapana · 17/12/2022 18:19

this

Show quote history

It's not rude.

Calling people cows is

There is no need to quote the OP (especially in the first reply)

What else would you be replying to?

5128gap · 17/12/2022 18:25

I think you need to have a conversation. Tell him you know he doesn't like it but you do, and that his comments are spoiling it for you. Tell him if he's nothing positive to say about things say nothing, as it's not fair to put a damper in it for everyone else. Maybe offer a compromise where afterwards, or next year, you do something of his choosing.

knittingaddict · 17/12/2022 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

They are right though.

crazycadetmum · 17/12/2022 18:27

Mine is the same..upon suggesting we tell the adult children to not spend much on us as they are all affected by rising costs.. his response was great..now we can cut down on what we get them..I've said no they need some fun and treats..we are able to afford them hes just stingy and miserable!

TheChosenTwo · 17/12/2022 18:30

Dying at the snippy response 😂😂
anyway op, I’m sorry to tell you that you are living with the grinch. I’d be sad if my dh was as miserable as this about Christmas.
I love Christmas (at the seasonally appropriate time however, I don’t think about buying anything until December, decs are up for about 10 days) and he gets excited about putting the lights up and all the festive cooking etc, he’s asked me to put things on the shop because of what he’s planning to cook.
He doesn’t get so involved in the shopping for presents or the wrapping but he does all the cooking - we really look forward to Christmas and I’d be a bit sad if he was a grinch.

tiggergoesbounce · 17/12/2022 18:30

I think its ridiculous that it "maddens" people how others post and they feel the need to get all uppity and rude about it, just move on past 🤣🤣

Anyway, OP has your DH always been like this about Christmas. My DH is far from excitable when it comes to Christmas, but he's not a downer on it, this would annoy me, alot.

Mariposista · 17/12/2022 18:31

YANBU at all OP. I would be livid with him.

tiggergoesbounce · 17/12/2022 18:31

@been and done it. Just ignore it and you do you !!

Theunamedcat · 17/12/2022 18:35

Don't give him a gift make him wait then "find" a piece of coal for him

Stingy arse

Original poster
Busytimes · 17/12/2022 18:36

I dont know why ammso cross. Why maripisista wiuld you be livid .. 8 cant quite get to grips with it .. ie why i am so cross .

OP posts: