to think some men are complete idiots

[gjkufbb]

I must have had this conversation upwards of a hundred times with my DP since we started living together 2 years ago.

If you open the bread, close it so it doesn't go stale. If you get food out of the freezer, put it back so it doesn't defrost. Close the dog food. You need to wrap cheese up you can't just put it in the fridge open.. this list goes on.

Whilst I'm dying from the flu, fair enough he's been bringing me some food. I go downstairs tho and the bread is wide open. Freezer food on the side from last night all defrosted. Dog treat bag wide open ...

What do I need to do to get him to pick up after himself?! It's like living with a teenager. Do I need to start grounding him? Or taking away things he likes?? Im at my wits end.

LTB

I only needed to read the title to
agree :😂

My husband doesn’t do any of that. Actually he tidied up after me constantly, because I’m one of those annoying people who leaves things open.
the problem isn’t men, it’s your specific man.
so you decide whether this is a dealbreaker for you or not.

Problem is your OH. My husband is able to be a proper adult and tidy up after himself...

Not all men. My DH is very particular about closing things and putting stuff away.

LTB

Or just scoff all the cheese 'to stop it going off'. 😉

As it happens, I pretty much had those one-way conversations all the time with my wife for the first 10 years we were together. I figured persistence (or "nagging", if you fancy a less charitable word) would win in the end.

It's not "men". It's just "some people".

No, most men aren’t complete idiots. Your DP hasn’t learned this and he hasn’t bothered listening to you as it’s not his problem. Let me guess, you buy the food and are in charge of noticing if you need more bread for sarnies next day - if he buys stuff it’s because youve planned ahead and asked him to get something.

It's just lazy isn't it. I have no idea why it's mainly men who seem to act like this.

What does he do for a job? I bet he can remember simple instructions there. So why can't he exercise some common sense at home?

My husband isn't half as bad as yours (sorry) but he does ask some stupid questions sometimes, he can cope with very complex information at work, yet struggles with simple stuff at home.

Learned helplessness? Must be very frustrating, especially seeing frozen stuff just left out to ruin.

Men are no more complete idiots than women are (and I know a fair few female idiots). Your man might be. Or maybe he's very clever and knows that you will clear up after him so he doesn't need to.

Guess my two daughters must be men, as they do this all the time.

You set your bar too low, but that seems to be a Mumsnet thing.

So is mine .... and so are my 3 adult sons...

I feel sorry for my lads. With these attitudes

Apologies. This particular man is a complete idiot! Lovely in every other way but a complete fucking slob

YABU unless this is some kind of forced arrangement. If you choose to be in a relationship with a big baby that’s on you. Not all men are like this at all.
It’s about as fair as asking ‘are women idiots’ because they are for some reason attracted pathetic slobs. Well no, most women have more self respect than that. You’re one of the few idiots. So is your DP.

My 10 year old and 8 year old know that my sewing scissors are sacresant and that you don't leave water bottles on my beautiful antique hall table.

Yesterday I discovered DH has used the scissors for wrapping paper and sellotape and this morning a huge watermark on the table.

Then he gets aggy with me when I tell him off

My partner doesn’t do any of that. He’s just a lazy git / has unmanaged ADHD / is a selfish child / a sexist knob who thinks it’s your job to clean up after him / whatever. Anyway it has nothing to do with him having a dick.

Have you tried getting angry and telling him that you wonder what him treating you like a housemaid says about his feelings about you? I would.

You are the idiot op

You chose him.

No; only the moron you’ve saddled yourself with.

Leaving frozen food out to defrost would drive me insane. It’s so wasteful.

Leave him to it.

FusionChefGeoff, you can remove water marks from wood surfaces by rubbing with white vinegar, then olive oil. I’ve used the method successfully on an antique mahogany dressing table.

I’m a very messy person, leave things open all the time.

My mind just doesn’t work quite right - I’m dyspraxic (confirmed) with possible inattentive ADHD (suspected) and unfortunately this kind of messiness is a symptom.

So we have strategies to deal with the problem, partly let’s be honest my DH tidies up after me a lot. But also I have checklists I can work through to see if I’ve done the household stuff I need to do, alarms on my phone to remind me to go check whether anything needs tidying etc.

So in your shoes, I’d suggest talking to him about it - explain it’s frustrating, see if you can find solutions that work for you both. Bear in mind that everybody’s minds work differently (whether there’s a diagnosed issue or not) and this may not be pure laziness.

Having said that, it’s also entirely possible he’s just a lazy man child who assumes you’ll tidy up! But that will become clear if he won’t try any strategies to improve.

My DH is the same.

The latest being: if you see the Tesco delivery van, open the door and receive the weeks shopping.

Thing is I’m a naturally messy person - but I don’t have someone going round tidying up after me so I learned. Let it go wrong.