to think some men are complete idiots

[gjkufbb]

I must have had this conversation upwards of a hundred times with my DP since we started living together 2 years ago.

If you open the bread, close it so it doesn't go stale. If you get food out of the freezer, put it back so it doesn't defrost. Close the dog food. You need to wrap cheese up you can't just put it in the fridge open.. this list goes on.

Whilst I'm dying from the flu, fair enough he's been bringing me some food. I go downstairs tho and the bread is wide open. Freezer food on the side from last night all defrosted. Dog treat bag wide open ...

What do I need to do to get him to pick up after himself?! It's like living with a teenager. Do I need to start grounding him? Or taking away things he likes?? Im at my wits end.

This is why I live alone, I was dangerously close to murdering my last husband as he slept and felt it would be safer for him if we got divorced.
The mess, the chaos, the debt.
I no longer feel angry all the time.

No. You're unwell. You didn't HAVE to do any of that.

I'm not too well today and my husband has just got on with things leaving me to snooze on the settee because I'm unwell

Don't be a martyr. No one dies if the vacuuming isn't done or the beds aren't changed.

I agree, I'm a bit like this in our household 🤦‍♀️

So as I lay here dying from the flu I've just had to scrub the bathroom, hoover and change all the beds and it's floored me.

Why?

So as I lay here dying from the flu I've just had to scrub the bathroom, hoover and change all the beds and it's floored me.

Why?

Maybe a stray dog got into the house with extraordinarily dusty paws, shat in every bed and then threw up on the bathroom floor. The OPs partner refused to deal with it and so the OP simply had no other option than to clean despite being on death’s door.
Otherwise it makes no sense to me either.

Get him to read this:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sinkbb_9055288/amp

He's just lazy

Strategic incompetence.
He knows how to do it, but why should he when you will do it for him.
A man who will watch you clean up after him when you’re ill and pregnant is not a good man.
It’ll get worse.

This...I feel so much more content after divorce...

I really disagree with this sentiment. I know you said some men, but the gist of it is that you’re attributing his incompetences to him being a man.
It’s not because he’s a man that he’s not tidying up after himself and allowing food to ruin.

Gosh, I’ve just read the whole thread.

So as I lay here dying from the flu I've just had to scrub the bathroom, hoover and change all the beds and it's floored me. I appreciate it's not all men but boy am I fed up

Why did you decide having a baby with a man who does nothing around the house was a good idea?

My husband is much more fastidious than I am 🤷‍♀️

I simply wouldn't tolerate that at home. If I can do it, so can he. Hence why some exes are exes and DH is a DH. I can't abide by useless people in general so certainly wouldn't have one at home

These men don't have special brain which prevents them to put stuff back in a freezer. What they do have are enabling partners who tolerate it. If they wouldn't have the latter, they would absolutely put it all back.

Oh dear, I'm the one getting told off for leaving the bread open

You don't need to leave relationship just when someone is cheating or violent.
Useless is and should be well accepted.

If women keep tolerating this and doing everything, there is no reason for men to change. Why would you stay with someone who is driving you crazy by refusing to engage brain (because they don't have to, no repercussions) so you have to sort everything including closing an open bread package?
It will just escalate to the other half doing absolute nothing. Like fuck would I be cleaning if I were really sick because he doesn't want to.

Though with kids in play (why...) It's a different game now.

So he's treated you like a skivvy for two years and now you're pregnant.

Good luck.

Some people are idiots,it's not just men. My partner once said to me thst he could not be walking around clearing up.after me all the time🙈 I told him I hadn't asked him.to. he was in my house my rules🤣

So as I lay here dying from the flu I've just had to scrub the bathroom, hoover and change all the beds and it's floored me. I appreciate it's not all men but boy am I fed up

Sorry WHAT ???

What was his response when you asked him to do these chores?

And what is your plan going forward?

I give you my ex-wife: in ye olden days of landlines: she answers the (cordless) phone, briefly speaks to someone, then puts the phone down on the shelf, next to the charging/docking station, and walks away.

What do I need to do to get him to pick up after himself?! It's like living with a teenager. Do I need to start grounding him? Or taking away things he likes?? Im at my wits end.

If someone is an idiot, get rid of them now. Not 25 years later when they've caused you decades of misery. (Bitter voice of experience.)

I was thinking this thread was going to have a lighthearted element to it until you wrote this...

So as I lay here dying from the flu I've just had to scrub the bathroom, hoover and change all the beds and it's floored me. I appreciate it's not all men but boy am I fed up

Only a nasty bastard would stand by while his sick pregnant wife did all that.

That's truly nasty behaviour towards someone he presumably says he loves.

The real idiots are the women who put up with men like this. If your partner isn't satisfactory to you then you're free to part ways and try to find a more suitable one.

How can he be lovely in any way??? We need to raise our bars...

Does LTB mean leave the bastard?

While someone follows him around correcting his mistakes for him, he'll never learn. You need to let him see that actions have consequences.

Next time that he leaves bread out, don't put it away for him. Wait until it goes stale and make him a sandwich. He'll soon learn.