Me and my wife have been married for 35 years and I have never let her look in the safe. Last week when I went to the market she looked in the safe, and when I got back she said “I have looked in the safe”. I said “ I told you not to look in there”. She said “there is £40,000 in there and three eggs”. She said “what are the eggs for?”. I said “Well I’ll be honest, every time I shagged someone else’s wife I put an egg in the safe”. She said “That’s not bad in 35 years is it?”. I said “No, but when I get a dozen I sell them, and that’s where the money comes from”