To not find this "joke" funny

[RampantIvy]

Me and my wife have been married for 35 years and I have never let her look in the safe. Last week when I went to the market she looked in the safe, and when I got back she said “I have looked in the safe”. I said “ I told you not to look in there”. She said “there is £40,000 in there and three eggs”. She said “what are the eggs for?”. I said “Well I’ll be honest, every time I shagged someone else’s wife I put an egg in the safe”. She said “That’s not bad in 35 years is it?”. I said “No, but when I get a dozen I sell them, and that’s where the money comes from”

Another which needs to be heard rather than read.
During Bob-a-Job week Fred knocked at a door and asked the homeowner if there were any jobs he could do to earn money. The man said The porch round the back needs painting, brushes and paint are on the shed, I'm going for my morning walk.
When he returned home later Fred came to the door to collect his money, DId you manage it OK? Yes Mister but the tyres look funny painted green.

(Porch, Porsche)

Love the Astor and Churchill exchanges!

Nancy Astor to Church Sir, I do believe you're drunk!
Churchill to Nancy Madam, I do believe you're ugly. Tomorrow I'll be sober..........

It's not funny, no, but it IS an excellent 11+ maths question

Or Margot Asquith, when (we are told) she was introduced by Lady Harlow, who wrongly pronounced the T in her first name.

Asquith replied "The T is silent, as in Harlow".

This is such a boring joke!

It seems a bit clunky and illogical. I mean, he would have to buy the eggs to put them in the safe and then sell them, I'm guessing for a profit to reach 40k...

That reminds me of the other (rather sick) one - where a driver calls the police and tells them he's run over a 'deer' (only works aurally), who is moaning in pain. The call handler asks if he has something heavy in the car and tells him to put the deer out of its misery, which he does; and then he asks "Now, what should I do with her shopping trolley?"

😂😂😂

Many jokes are illogical if you dig in. Many

I saw Jethro deliver this joke and it was hilarious.

Depends on the delivery OP. We roared when the best man told it at my friend's wedding in 1980, only it was golf balls rather than eggs. I guess as part of some tongue-in-cheek advice on marital bliss it had an extra element of humour.

Who keeps eggs in the safe? We keep ours in the fridge.

Not to mention, shouldn't the 40,000 cash be earning interest in a bank?

Very puzzling story.

There's no need to refrigerate eggs - they're self-sealed. Waste of fridge space.

You lost me at 'wouldn't let her look in the safe'

It's the kind of joke that makes you say "lol" rather than laugh.

Eggs are refrigerated in the store... advice on this side of the pond is to keep eggs refrigerated.

www.healthline.com/nutrition/should-you-refrigerate-eggs#united-states

But I don't want to totally derail the thread... or get into an egg-saving competition.

Besides, we have a lot of space in the fridge.

They are not refrigited in shops in uk. You don't need to refrigiate unwashed eggs. Only washed ones.

Us sells mainly washed ones afaik

I don't find it remotely funny either, just an eye roll here.

@Pothoswithasparkle I guess you notice bad logic more when a joke is dire. There is no way that this joke could make me laugh, no matter the delivery.

What a waste of my time....

No. People just dig into jokes they don't like to make their point across.
Again, talking animals😁

If you found this funny, I feel sorry for you.

@RampantIvy The things I love about Cryer's comic genius was that his jokes were always well-observed, never any need for misogyny or smuttiness and always raised a belly laugh by any audience with no offence taken.

What I can't crack a smile over is the overwhelming supply of jokes that are at women's expense - like everything else in society, women being the butt of everyone's jokes just adds yet another excuse to add everyday sexism into the common psyche. I've become a lot more conscious of it since being on MN 👍