AIBU to be annoyed he thinks my food is disgusting?

[WontEatMyFood]

Would you be offended if someone consistently didn't like your food?

For context, we have a 15 year old Spanish boy staying with us and each night pretty much his whole dinner goes in the bin. He also doesn't appear to eat any vegetables as he'll always pointedly pick them out and push them to the side of his plate.

He's with us three months now and it's actually making me dislike him!

I wouldn't mind but I really enjoy cooking and I actively have an interest in it so I know my meals are generally pretty tasty and they're also very varied (not modest I know!). Typical meals I'd make are; spag bol, roasts with all the trimmings, thai food, indian curries, pork casserole with apple, chicken florentine, pasta linguine, bean and sausage casseroles amongst many other things!

The only meals he appears to have liked are burgers and steak which he wolfed down like a savage.

Oh and he never says thank you for a meal.

He's giving me the rage! But I need to get a grip don't I?

I've tried lamb chops, they went in the bin. As did the pork chops with mash, and the spanish beans recipe. Even the paella I made with saffron, and I followed an authentic recipe!

Oh and it's not pasta linguine, I meant to say prawn linguine. He doesn't seems to like prawns either. They also got unceremoniously chucked.

His English is absolutely atrocious by the way, I tried to talk to him last night about the parmigiana I made and he hadn't a clue what I was saying. I promise I have tried!

You’re essentially starving him.

Starving people aren't going to push food to the side of their plate, come off it 😂

To be fair not much hassle shoving pizza and oven chips in a couple of times a week.
You say he has to eat what you're eating but he's not he's wasting it. Not great for you or him.

And yes I have really good quality olive oil in and we always have bread.

I hate to break it to you but it’s not 1990. Plenty of Spanish teens are very fussy eaters with a strong preference for burgers and pizza.

The whole point of travelling is to eat different food. It sounds like the OP cooks a good variety of food. Spanish food isn’t always terribly exciting so I don’t think the OP’s food being basic is especially the issue.

I agree it would be nice if the OP made an effort with a Spanish dish every couple weeks, but she isn’t running a hotel - he needs to eat what the family eats, or but his own food when he’s out. She also may not want him filling up on bread, if she doesn’t want her kids copying that habit.

Funny isn’t it how attitudes change.
mom 46, 30 years ago it would’ve been considered the height of rudeness not to eat what someone put in front of you as a guest in their house.

now people say ‘oh if he doesn’t like it that’s fine’

I’m sorry, I’m old fashioned. YANBU. He’s being rude, but sadly it appears these days that basic manners have vanished and there’s always an excuse for someone being rude.

I can guarantee that if a British guest abroad followed their own 'cultural norms' and put themseolves at odds with the hosts they would be considered rude!

I stayed with foster familys... I HATE other peoples cooking mostly, everyone 'thinks' they are great cooks but usually theres a bloody good reason why they are profesional chefs.

I rarely use to eat what I was served unless I was so starving I had to, honestly most of the time it was fucking awful. I would just sit awkwardly pretending to eat it because actually eating it litally made me gag sometimes.

I survived on tea, bread and butter for a long time to avoid overly blanched brussel spouts and wierd brown stuff that was indecernable as to what it even was.

I would rather have a pot noodle than some of the stuff well meaning but utterly in denial about their skills people have served me before.

I think you think you are much better than you are OP, in many ways. Poor kid.

Im not making myself sick to passify your need for praise... I'm not a martyr and don't exist for your ego.

When does he actually eat? Does he have money to buy food somewhere else? Sorry OP but I couldn't imagine having a young guest in my house for whatever reason that they were there and not feed them what they wanted to eat.

Hopefully you're not being paid to have him stay with you.

Poor kid, this must be very stressful for him.

Presumably you're getting paid to host him?

I would do pizza or burgers once a week. Could you adapt your cooking a bit so food are separate rather than lots of 'saucy' one pot stuff?
Can you serve things to the table and let everyone serve themselves rather than plating up?

Maybe have bread and butter, cold meat, fruit or salad available as well on the side.

@TheHateIsNotGood I know I sound exasperated, but I really do wonder how he's not starving? I've honestly offered him other food etc and he says he's fine. They are a lot of Pringles tubes in his bin however...

i do pizza once a week

Que in English is “what”

Saying “Que” is the equivalent of saying Yes? In Spanish.

@phoenixrosehere yes I know that, so I told him we use 'yes?' rather than what

YANBU. He sounds spoilt and rude. 15 is old enough to know how to be polite. It sounds like you are providing a good range of dishes. I'm a language teacher and have taken many students on exchanges (and went on one myself when I was 14). Part of the adventure and the learning curve is beinvg able to try new things and adapt in your host family's home.

Expecting to be fed on pizza and burgers all the time for 3 months is ridiculous and unreasonable unless you have a diagnosed reason for extreme food fussiness (which presumably the school would have informed you about if he did).

Well if he’s not being given good he’ll eat, what do you expect the boy to do? 😬

food

This must be a reverse, how can anyone take on a host student, see their food preferences, then decide they don’t want to cook that kind of food so instead serve them what they normally cook.

If you had no intentions of feeding them the food the school outlined why did you take them on? I really hope you aren’t being paid if this is real, poor kid. Can you tell them it’s not working out and have him moved to somewhere he can eat the food?

A growing teenage boy can’t live on Pringles.

As others have said, those are common British dishes but I'm sure they are very different to what he eats at home with his family. I moved to the UK as a grown adult and it took me a long time to get used to the food. There's still quite a lot of British "staples" that I don't like. You may think these are tasty basic dishes but for someone not raised on them they are gross foreign foods. It's all what you are used to.

He has been with you for 3 months...that is a long time to be eating so little! Does he have money to buy his own meals and are you sure that he is getting enough to eat throughout the day if he isn't having dinner?

I understand you don't want to throw a pizza in every night, but why not try to understand what he eats at home? Can you ask him about his favourite Spanish dishes? Maybe you can ask him to help you plan and prepare some healthy Spanish meals for your whole family? Surely cultural exchange can go in both directions and Spanish food is delicious! He may be more willing to try your own foods if he sees you are making an effort to connect with him through his own cuisine.

Why did you take him into your home? It sounds like some sort of foreign exchange programme? This is a basic cultural difference that can be used as an opportunity for connection, understanding, and growth for both him and your own children. You are missing out on this opportunity if you just choose to feed him your standard staples every night and ignore the fact that he clearly isn't enjoying them without asking him about his own culture. 😕

It isn't the OP's job to teach him the manners that she deems appropriate. He's here to learn English. If he hears the OP's children (has she got any?) saying please and thank you, he'll pick it up.
Poor lad, I'm sure he'll be glad to get home.

YANBU. He sounds spoilt and rude.
Where are you getting spoiled from @Fairislefandango?
And the only rudeness even someone who has admitted disliking him can accuse him of is not saying "thank you" after meals (that he hates & doesn't eat).

Expecting to be fed on pizza and burgers all the time for 3 months is ridiculous and unreasonable
You're right, that WOULD be ridiculous & unreasonable.
It's got nothing to do with this thread though, because the boy has never expected that.
He hasn't even been ASKED what he would like, let alone TELL anyone what he 'expects'. OP is basing her assumptions on something his school said. She has no idea what he might have eaten over the past 3 months, had she bothered to communicate with him about it.

I'd try doing things like chicken, sausages or fish + rice, pasta or potatoes + veg or salad. Sauce or gravy served separately and let everyone help themselves.
Bread on the side and fruit and yoghurt available for pudding.

Easier for him to see exactly what the food is and what to expect, less food waste as he can only take what he wants to eat.

@Candlemas every evening my own children say 'thank you for the dinner, may I leave the table' so he's heard that many many times and yet he will just get up, put the food into the bin and leave the room without saying anything!

And my own DDs will say when they think something is particularly delicious.