So my dad doesn't like DH. DH isn't a fan of my dad either. Me and DH went through a rocky patch which made things worse between Dh and my dad.
They've never fallen out. They've never even argued. They just don't speak however I'm not overly close to my dad. My dad has also caused me a lot of trauma and pain from my childhood and also he had an affair which ended his marriage to my mum.
Despite this, he's my dad and he's in my life. I'm not as close to him as I'd like to be but he is always there for me.
Dad took me and my sister out for lunch the other day and said he would like us to have a family holiday abroad next year - he's paying for it. My sister doesn't have a partner or DCs. I have 3 dcs. My sister is really up for it.
Spoken to Dh about it and he's not happy and says I shouldn't go. Youngest ds is 4 and has never been on a plane before. Dh says he wants to be there when DS experiences this for this first time.
He's told me to go - but is in a mood and says 'don't worry about me'
He then said it was out of order and unfair on him. He's told me to tell my dad I can't go because I don't think it's fair Dh misses out on ds first holiday abroad.
I can see why he's upset about this. I really can. I've suggested that maybe he could try contact my dad and reconnect and maybe he could also join us.I think my dad would respect this a lot. DH didn't really say much when I suggested this.
I'm absolutely stuck in the middle. If I tell my dad no then I'm letting him down and my sister and the kids! If I go then I'll just feel shit the whole time and I know DH just won't be happy.
All this being said - regardless of the dh/dad dilemma, im not overly comfortable with going anyway. If it were up to me I'd rather not. I've just finished therapy where I've realised how abusive my dad was as a kid. A very clever man and has a way of making us feel so unimportant. However this is him making an effort so I don't want to let him down either.
It won't be a holiday I'm particularly looking forward to either way.
Advice?