To ask if you stand up or sit down?

[Blessedbethefknfruit]

Okay, so this may seem like a bizarre question.
However seeing as I'm awake at 5am listening to my 9 week old squealing with delight in her cot, because for some reason she has gotten herself into the routine that after the 4am bottle and nappy change its playtime... Anyway I'm awake and thinking of random things...

I discovered a few months ago that my partner stands up when "cleaning/wiping" himself after going to the toilet.
I found this so strange, I'd never heard of anyone doing this. I just assumed everyone remained sitting down and it seemed really alien to me.
Somehow the subject came up when we were with his family (we're not pride and perfectly confortable talking about these things) and it turns out they are a family of stand up wipers! They thought this was normal and the usual thing to do.

So for research purposes and because what else is there to do at this time whilst I wait for my little squealer to go back to sleep, let's do a poll.

I'm not being unreasonable : I remain sitting down to wipe my butt.
I'm being unreasonable : I stand up to make sure I get in all the crooks and crannies.

Hopefully by the time anyone responds to this I'll be asleep!

Of course he does.

It will be something to chat about over Christmas Dinner.

None of you do a headstand when wiping then? Wow. Can't believe that.

Why are all these 'different' threads started by first time posters?

Sit, if you stand your bum cheeks stick together and you can't clean properly. I can attest to this as my daughter is a stander 🙃

I’m almost 60. Can say I’ve never had a conversation with anyone, ever, about their or my preference for arse wiping positions.

I went to some airport toilets abroad once and they only had the water spray as an option so I used that and then realised there was nothing to dry myself with so had to pull my knickers up and walk around with a wet bum.

I'm not a first time poster, please see previous post above ☺️
It's a shame some people are so sinical. Literally just my 5am musings, sorry if I offended you 😂

As a PP has said, if you're a stander how do you raise one leg on the loo seat or whatever if you've got trousers on??

Clearly a sitter here 😂

Have always sat down but after reading this thread, I'm thinking about how my household has a problem with toilet seats becoming loose on one side. We are all right handed so I wonder if it's something to do with us twisting to wipe or twisting to get loo paper and whether we would be better off standing up to wipe and whether it would make the toilet seats last longer!!

Yes
Just found how to reply.... live and learn...

It would be quite awkward to do this while wearing knickers too!

You flush before you pull up your pants?

Hmmm interesting...

Only on Mumsnet eh?

I do love this forum. It cheeers me up no end

I do. Absolutely game changer for us. Can't imagine what I did without it and think they should be standard fit for bathrooms.

Yes mine too!! I twist to the right and mine are loose that side!
I want to ask DP now but I don't want him thinking I'm a dirty mare is we do it differently 😂

I can't believe I clicked on this thread 😂
I noticed my DH stands and it seemed alien to me.
I can only wipe sitting because I've got good flexibility. I once was ill with flu and really struggled to reach round.
I am now slowly going through what I do because it's second nature and I don't analyse it ever. There's a definite lean forward. Weird I'm even thinking this.

The hose thing makes sense but I'd be wanting to dab at the end. I don't like the idea of drips 😖that was meant to be a perplexed face but looks more like a thrusting emoji and it won't delete as I'm on mobile phone.

Its its poo, I clean whilst I'm sitting down in a kind of twisted position to reach round. If its pee, then I wipe whilst half standing up (like semi squat position) just so I get in between my legs better.

I am looking to reno my bathroom and thinking of a bidet but there is always a concern people would be put off if I go to sell

I've seen the sitting vs standing debate before. Still can't get my head around it tbh. But never have I heard of a stander putting their foot up on the seat. WTAF? This just
Seems so awkward and a lot of unnecessary shimmying around. Also creeps me out knowing that peoples dirty shoes from outside may have been stood on the office toilet seats.

FWIW I'm a sitter. I can't understand how someone could spread their ass cheeks wide enough to properly clean while standing. Do you all put your feet up to do this? I'm baffled. This is madness to me. 🤯

You do a pat with one sheet to dry or use a dedicated arse towel. Cuts bog roll use down to almost zero.

Surely sitting gives you better access?

I crouch down with my hands flat on the ground, and then slowly raise myself into a handstand. From there, I slowlytilt backwards until my arse crack reaches the curtain, and I vigorously jiggle up and down until I'm clean.

Toilet paper is bad for the environment. You should all be ashamed.

@Namechanger1002

In your bedroom? What? Why?

why would you not keep them in the bathroom where you clean your teeth? Or are you now going to tell me you clean your teeth in the bedroom??

@Blessedbethefknfruit

a bit TMI, but you did ask?!?!

I low carb, really low carb and poop is perfect (like a hen laying an egg, but not hard), easy clean wipe. Sitting down.

when I throw myself off the wagon & eat regular food, lots of carbs, it's a much much softer & my sphincter muscle doesn't seem to do a brilliant job if I sit & wipe it seems endless, I need to stand to really activate the muscle then I can easily wipe & finish with a wet wipe (that goes in the bin).

i always just assumed everyone wiped while sitting, it's so much easier & more convenient.

what you never knew you never knew!!

got to love this place!!!

I think in general men stand and women sit. I say in general as the only people o have known yo stand have been men.

Just how many men (and women) have you observed wiping their arses? Are you a research scientist for Andrex?!

I recall a thread from some time back, where it was established as 'A Thing' that some people take ALL of their clothes off every time before they have a poo. Nowt so strange as folk.

How on earth did they get away with that name for the Shattaf, though?! Or is it an innocent foreign-language word that just means 'cleanse' or something - and not a Glaswegian marketing director with an earthy sense of humour?

@blobby10
@OrlandointheWilderness

the loo seat drives me mad!! So much so I now keep an Allen Key in the bathroom to tighten it.

im 53, never had this problem in any other house. It's a cook & Lewis toilet from 2014.