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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you stand up or sit down?

124 replies

Blessedbethefknfruit · 15/12/2022 05:08

Okay, so this may seem like a bizarre question.
However seeing as I'm awake at 5am listening to my 9 week old squealing with delight in her cot, because for some reason she has gotten herself into the routine that after the 4am bottle and nappy change its playtime... Anyway I'm awake and thinking of random things...

I discovered a few months ago that my partner stands up when "cleaning/wiping" himself after going to the toilet.
I found this so strange, I'd never heard of anyone doing this. I just assumed everyone remained sitting down and it seemed really alien to me.
Somehow the subject came up when we were with his family (we're not pride and perfectly confortable talking about these things) and it turns out they are a family of stand up wipers! They thought this was normal and the usual thing to do.

So for research purposes and because what else is there to do at this time whilst I wait for my little squealer to go back to sleep, let's do a poll.

I'm not being unreasonable : I remain sitting down to wipe my butt.
I'm being unreasonable : I stand up to make sure I get in all the crooks and crannies.

Hopefully by the time anyone responds to this I'll be asleep!

OP posts:
TheBitchOfTheVicar · 15/12/2022 07:26

I'm a stander. I mean, my bum cheeks aren't that big or solid - I'm perfectly able to get the paper where it needs to go!

Era · 15/12/2022 07:36

Poo troll

Riapia · 15/12/2022 07:36

Stand with your back to the toilet roll.
Lean forward and reach between your legs.
Grasp the end of the toilet roll.
Pull through till you come to a clean bit.

CrunchyCarrot · 15/12/2022 07:46

Stand! I use regular loo paper then clean up properly using moist wipes (which I don't put down the loo but into a bin). Never heard of staying seated but then my DP uses that method. Even if I did, I would have to have stopped once I hurt my lower back. No way in hell could I lean forward even a few millimeters.

Original poster
Blessedbethefknfruit · 15/12/2022 08:31

winteriscoming2022 · 15/12/2022 06:06

So a normal conversation with your BF's family is around how they wipe their arses? Right

I wouldn't say it's abnormal for us 😂 it's not something any of us feel particularly ashamed of. Same as farting, if someone farted at the dinner table we'd all laugh not feel disgusted. It's just the relationship we've always had and I have the same with my own family.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blessedbethefknfruit · 15/12/2022 08:38

PayPennies · 15/12/2022 06:48

This. And also the preamble justifying the timing of the post…/

Show quote history

I have posted previously under a different username when I was pregnant and 3 Weeks post partum. I was really struggling with my mental health then and vented a lot, had a lot of really good advice from other parents on here. I just didn't want my previous dark thoughts being connected to my future posts now I'm in a far better mental state. I can send you a voice clip of my lo doing her 5am babble if you like ☺️

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 15/12/2022 08:41

Sitting usually. Standing with one hip raised if it’s a stubborn one !

MandaLynn · 15/12/2022 08:47

Lincslady53 · 15/12/2022 06:44

I worked for a tissue manufacturer in the 80s when they launched a new, softer toilet roll. Part of the sales spiel was the product was made specifically to meet uk needs as in the USA users scrunched the TT before use, wheras in the UK we folded it. So the paper was made to feel like velvet when it was folded. I have wondered fir 40 years whether this was discovered by market research or was just marketing bollocks made up to justify the product that the new mulri million pound machine produced. I suspect the latter.

My mom (American here) worked on the survey for that! Calling up random households asking if they fold or scrunch...was one of her "starving artist" jobs

Namechanger1002 · 15/12/2022 08:49

I’m a stander and a folder. My sister is a sitter and a scrunched! This is the kind of conversations my family and friends have and at work none of us can understand those who do the alternative.
Like toothbrushes - where do you keep them? We all keep them in our bedrooms.

RagingWoke · 15/12/2022 08:57

The scrunch v fold debate started when we potty trained dc1, dh is a fold and sit and but I scrunch and stand how else would you inspect?. It's been a topic many times with friends and family and there's about a 50/50 split.

It's a bit like the inner monologue thing, hard to see the other side when it's something so natural to you.

LadyKenya · 15/12/2022 09:00

I'm a laaadyyyyyyy, I would never discuss such things.

ouch321 · 15/12/2022 09:01

Stand of course.

You can't get properly clean if you remain sitting down as everything is still bunched together so to speak. I even tried it that way once as an experiment after hearing some people on here said they remain sitting down.

It's like people have seen it on TV and think that this is the way to do it in real life and it's like no, they just do that so the actor doesn't have to put their bits on display if they did it the normal way. If they're filming and actor wears a long jumper then there will be no nudity.

Original poster
Blessedbethefknfruit · 15/12/2022 09:07

Namechanger1002 · 15/12/2022 08:49

I’m a stander and a folder. My sister is a sitter and a scrunched! This is the kind of conversations my family and friends have and at work none of us can understand those who do the alternative.
Like toothbrushes - where do you keep them? We all keep them in our bedrooms.

We also keep our tooth brushes in our bedroom. Who wants toilet water partials on their tooth brush?

OP posts:
Kalasbyxor · 15/12/2022 09:10

Sitting.
Shimmying forward, sticking bum out and twisting to the right (right handed) to wipe.
Front to back.
Wipe with folded paper until apparently clean.
Penultimate wipe with folded paper moistened by tap water.
Final wipe with dry folded paper.
Squeaky clean every time.

If I was standing, I can't see how I could splay my cheeks wide enough to get clean without having to either squat or raise a leg onto the bathtub or similar.

Also, if you wipe sitting, the poopy loo roll doesn't have to 'travel' outside of the bowl to get from bum to bowl with actual poo on it, pooifying the atmosphere in the bathroom. If you wipe sitting, the paper is just dropped neatly into the bowl and doesn't spread poop vibes into the air.

Whataretheodds · 15/12/2022 09:12

Nowstrong · 15/12/2022 06:46

I don't use toilet paper, very yuck for me. Have a water spray, so its spray wash while still sitting, then pat dry with washable coton wipes. I have an enormous stock of WC paper, for visitors' use. I have very pretty wrapped rolls from "Who gives a Crap". Hilarious conversations sometimes concerning my toiletry habits.

Do you have a shattaf?

Original poster
Blessedbethefknfruit · 15/12/2022 09:22

Also, I'm not sure if other standers do this but dp has one leg resting on the toilet seat I assume to "spread the cheeks"

OP posts:
fdgdfgdfgdfg · 15/12/2022 09:31

Blessedbethefknfruit · 15/12/2022 09:22

Also, I'm not sure if other standers do this but dp has one leg resting on the toilet seat I assume to "spread the cheeks"

Stander here, and yes, a leg on the loo seat is very much a part of the position.

KillingLoneliness · 15/12/2022 09:33

I stand, I also rarely have anything there to actually wipe away so it’s a quick wipe and go but I find it’s easier to be sure everything is 100% clean by standing, I’ve tried sitting but it’s just to awkward!

rainbowandglitter · 15/12/2022 09:36

KillingLoneliness · 15/12/2022 09:33

I stand, I also rarely have anything there to actually wipe away so it’s a quick wipe and go but I find it’s easier to be sure everything is 100% clean by standing, I’ve tried sitting but it’s just to awkward!

I was going to say this. There's never anything on the paper anyway. I always thought this was normal but DH says not. I sit down and wipe.

TheProblemIsMe · 15/12/2022 09:36

I use the bum gun.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 15/12/2022 09:37

Nowstrong · 15/12/2022 07:14

When I say spray, it is a specific one attached to main water pipe, quite strong, have very clean bum thank you and never any bits of paper or anything else gets stuck...Same method as used in most of Asia. Also very good for any pile sufferers.

Yes I think the majority of people know what they are! You talk as if it's some new discovery 😂
But when I went to Penang every toilet was absolutely soaking. No I don't want to sit in a drenched toilet seat thanks very much or get my clothes wet just walking into the room

Ackity · 15/12/2022 09:38

Sit.

I use Andrew washlets, paper just smears shit everywhere.

KillingLoneliness · 15/12/2022 09:42

rainbowandglitter · 15/12/2022 09:36

I was going to say this. There's never anything on the paper anyway. I always thought this was normal but DH says not. I sit down and wipe.

Show quote history

My DH was surprised when I said this, I can’t even remember how we ended up talking about it but he always has something leftover. I’m quite happy that I don’t have to deal with that to be honest 😂

KimberleyClark · 15/12/2022 09:48

Sitter. Wipe until paper comes away clean. Later I will shower and wash bum as part of morning routine.

Robyn847 · 15/12/2022 09:57

Hang on......the standers who put a foot on the seat to enable spreadage....does that mean you have to take a foot out of your trousers? So your trousers are touching the floor? Ewww to that in public toilets. 🤮 Unless I'm not understanding something 🤷🏻‍♀️