Am I a prude?

[liloandtitch]

My little sister and her boyfriend like to touch each other’s bums and grip each other’s knees / thighs. They do this during family get togethers with my parents and other siblings. It makes me super uncomfortable.

Also, since being with him my sister has taken to going bra-less, and / or wears revealing tops that are either low cut or have side cut-aways or are crop tops, and all this flesh on display also makes me uncomfortable.

I realise that it’s great that she’s comfortable in her body of course and I’m glad she and her boyfriend love each other. I am not asking if they are being unreasonable because objectively I know that they are not. I am not going to say anything to them.

But am I unreasonable to feel squeamish about this? Would others feel uncomfortable seeing their sister’s nipples through thin fabric or mind seeing wandering hands on the sofa?

We’re all in our 30s. My sister and I had quite a ‘chaste’ upbringing, so perhaps I am being prudish.

YABU - I am a prude.

YANBU - It is normal to find this uncomfortable.

I think affection is great. My ex never ever displayed any affection towards me in public or private. Not even a hand on the knee or an arm around the shoulders. So I'm fine with that, I would like arse grouping or snogging in public, it would be too much to for me to do or see others do. Small displays of affection are fine, over the top is too much.

I have nothing to say about the no bra thing. even when i wear a bra my nip still poke out but maybe not as obviously if i wasn't wearing a bra.

YANBU. Its exhibitionism and enforced voyeurism. I'd tell them to get a room

Newsflash, there's nothing wrong with nipples. As for the PDA, it's fine to be cringey about it, wrong to censor it

Oh fuck that. Me and my sis are in our 30s and i would tell her to pack that shit in near me 😂.

PS - I am not a prude. My husband would certainly confirm that but for the love of god there’s a time and a place.

The bra thing is on you - nobody has to wear a bra and I assume (hope!) you don't think your sister should wear a bra with enough padding to make her nipples invisible for your comfort. I don't wear anything padded or wires, so I'm quite evangelical about people getting over the visibility of nipples 😂Ditto cleavage, really. It's just skin.

The unnecessary bum grabbing would gross me out, though. Tell her to get a roon.

Touching a bum or knee is hardly sitting on the sofa snogging - I think it’s fine. They’re in love.
Braless - not a good look on big boobs - if she’s an A or B cup it’s fine.

You sound a little jealous of your sister tbh.

I come from a Mediterranean family so have seen relatives even in their 50's and 60's giving their spouses kisses, knee squeezes and an affectionate pat on the bum, I do think it's cultural/upbringing if you find that overtly sexual. As for the nipple issue, again I feel like you're the only one sexualising it op, what if she had a child and breastfed around you? Her sense of style not being to your taste is fine, that's your opinion but I'm not a fan of policing women's bodies.

If you want an example which really IS crossing the line my sister once brought a guy back to a hotel room I was sharing with her (twin single beds) stripped off and started having sex with him. I had to scramble for clothes and go sit outside, contemplating the years of therapy ahead of me... 🤮🤮🤮

Bleh - I think the fact they are family makes the ick factor worse. Nobody wants to think of their family as sexual beings 😖

Sadly ti's the fashion now it seems, maybe not the nips bit. As in most relationships it will die down, maybe she feels the need to do this to rebel and get it out of her system, also is she doing it just for him? Only time will tell but I would certainly ask subtlety about it. X

Braless and touchy feely in the presence of family is really not appropriate.

Only time i dont wear a bra is when i go to bed no im not a prude but its uncomfortable without for me .

I come from Spain, I pat my DH on the butt, kiss him and give him a hug in front of others, and he does the same. It's the way we to demonstrate love to our partners.

People shouldn't take as inappropriate to their values reasonable physical expressions of love, we all have different ways to communicate how we care for each other.

I thought you were going to say she was 17, not in her 30s! Icky though it is, it’s probably a stage that won’t last long.

Lol, ask her if she's smuggling peanuts in front of her other half!

I hate people groping each other in public. Just go home and fuck for Christ's sake. You're not 15 anymore, just grow up.

The bra thing wouldn't bother me. It annoys me that nipples are seen in this way. If a man is topless that's fine, if a woman is it's totally shocking. It just doesn't seem right - it should be one rule for all!

I wouldn't like the bum groping etc.

You are not being a prude. I understand where you're coming from and feel the same way.

Op, is your DH//DW/DP present at these family nipple intruding gatherings?

Personally, the touching the bums thing can make those around them feel awkward, i get that. But equally, that new love/lust is something we have all experienced. It's not like she has her hand down his front trousers. They clearly fancy each other. In another few years they will be in that miserable " rut" stage and the pda will have stopped.

I read an article years ago about a woman who went braless , as it turned her boyfriend on when they were out . If i remember correctly it was a kind unwritten , look what you can you have later and kept him horny all night until , they got home. I remember the article vividly as it resonated with me in the 90's. I used to wear a lot of halter neck tops and spaghetti strap tops ( fashionable in the day), with combats and you could never really wear a bra with them, unless one of those cross over ones where you could still see straps . I remember being so jealous as my boobs have always been large and my nipples never where they should have been. There was a thing called the pencil test as well, which i failed!! I think your sister just really likes him and wants to turn him on. At family gatherings, yes, probably a bra is in order. Would i have a visceral reaction to it??? No. Would i go out braless if i could, knowing it turned my partner on? Hell yeah! Would i do it over xmas dinner, no! Am i jealous they are clearly in the early stages of passion and constant rip your clothes off sex... of course i bloody am!

"Anyone who says 'I'm not a prude, but...' really means 'I am a prude, and..." - John Cleese

I couldn’t get offended by the sight of anyone’s breasts (least of all someone I love) because I don’t see anything offensive about them but you could tell them to tone down the PDA. That’s a bit cringey.

YANBU. It would make me feel uncomfortable too. Maybe I wouldn't mind bra less this much (although I know I couldn't do it personally, but it's just me 🤐), but other stuff, they could leave it for some alone time.

Is the OP's family Spanish? If not, you don't get to tell her what she takes as inappropriate.

Besides, my DH's family are Spanish and they wouldn't dream of carrying on like that in the company of other people.