Breastfeeding advice group on Facebook has scared me?!

[elm26]

I thought it would be a good idea to join a private breastfeeding advice/support group as I hopefully will be breastfeeding when baby comes along.

I introduced myself and asked what they recommend me to buy, any tips, any information etc and oh my god, I feel like I've started WW3.

I do not know the first thing about breastfeeding but one lady commented telling me to get some good nipple cream and another replied saying if your nipples are sore it's a latch problem, so you don't need cream. The other lady then replied it's good to have as nipples can get quite sensitive etc and she replied breasts don't need to get used to being fed from so no need for cream, put up with the sensitivity.

Another said don't put baby's mouth to your nipple let them crawl their way up your stomach and find your nipple themselves.

Another said that I shouldn't have put that I'm "hoping" to breastfeed, it should be that I am going to breastfeed as this is what's best for the baby and there is no such thing as can't. I have always truly believed that "fed is best" and I think I'd get hunted down if I replied with that!

They've absolutely terrified me! I feel even more confused and like I'm a failure if for whatever reason I can't breastfeed/struggle with it.

Is it really worth being a part of these groups? Will I get help from the midwife etc? I do plan on going to the breastfeeding class.

I didn't expect all of these responses but I've read every single one and you're all amazing and so helpful.

I think I'm going to buy some nipple cream just in case, get measured at 38 weeks for a couple of nursing bras, some breast pads, get myself a couple of feeding pillows and crack on with it and see what works for us. I will keep in mind that fed is best so that in any case it doesn't work out I don't feel like an awful mother like they made it seem 😂

I've left the group. I also went through my midwife pack and the maternity hub in my area does breastfeeding classes and 1-1 support with it 3 days a week so I will go with that, I go there for my antenatal care anyway so it's familiar to me.

Thanks again everyone!

What a shame, sorry you've had this experience. I'm on a FB breastfeeding group and it's lovely, lots of great advice and nothing judgey. Sounds like bad luck that the one you joined isn't so friendly!!

I've breastfed (am still breast feeding) two children. The way I look at it is, in the beginning it's new to you and it's new to your baby. You both need to learn how to do it really. It's true a good latch makes things easier and comfier but it takes most new mums time and practice to get that good latch consistently. It can be frustrating and it can be painful to begin with, but like any new skill, perseverance is key.

I don't know anyone who didn't find it tricky to start with. You'll likely feel sore, you'll worry about your supply, you'll Google tongue ties and you'll watch a load of YouTube videos about different feeding positions and how to latch and you'll probably feel like giving up at some point too. All very normal and part of the journey. On the up side - once you and your baby have cracked it, it can be beautifully bonding, relaxing and super duper convenient (it's basically magic to stop them crying!).

Congratulations on your pregnancy and best of luck with the breastfeeding!

I had multiple midwives/breastfeeding support people say "hold the baby like a rugby ball" and then position my arms into a position that is absolutely not how you hold a rugby ball. I'm a rugby player - you hold a rugby ball in your hands, about 20cm away from your chest... It irks me every time someone says it, I have to refrain from saying "THAT'S NOT HOW YOU HOLD A RUGBY BALL". And, also, what kind of advice is that when 99% of women don't know how to hold a rugby ball? Might as well say "in labour, breathe like you're playing the French horn" - almost no one would know how to even do that correctly even if the actual professionals weren't talking utter bollocks.

www.tagrugbycoach.com/blog/how-to-hold-a-rugby-ball

Baby groups for bf, baby wearing, baby led weaning and washable nappies are full of nutters. Obviously not all of them but you've had a flavour of it! See also attachment parenting and limited screen time.

I had multiple midwives/breastfeeding support people say "hold the baby like a rugby ball" and then position my arms into a position that is absolutely not how you hold a rugby ball. I'm a rugby player - you hold a rugby ball in your hands, about 20cm away from your chest

Sure looks like a rugby hold though when you are casually watching from the sidelines 😂

Leave that group.

I found LLL local group helpful.

With DD1 bf just never clicked for us and with DD2 it did but it took work. I have a friend who qualified as a lactation consultant between her first and second and it still took her a week to get a good latch with her second child and she is a professional. It takes time for most people to get a good latch. I found watching YouTube videos really helpful. Remember what works for one baby doesn’t work for another.

Why are you watching people breastfeeding from the sidelines? 😂😂

😅 ah ykwim

Love this! 😁

Group sounds like a bunch of loons. Definitely leave. I would ask your midwife if there is a bf group for new mums near you. Don't worry about issues that haven't happened yet. They will show you how to do it in hospital before you leave and make sure you are ok with it. If you follow up with a new mum local group it will hopefully filter out the (frankly unhelpful) die hard pros. You will just be with people starting out, all trying to work it out.

I was told that if you are pale skinned (I am - naturally pink nipples not brown) you are more likely to get sore nipples. It still wasn't that bad with the ointment though. It wasn't a major issue.

I thought I would hate it and was a bit grossed out by the thought of doing it tbh. My nipples were associated with sexual arousal for me. But I surprised myself by really enjoying it in the end, it's a completely different feeling. A lovely closeness.

I would definitely buy a feeding pillow. Will get used all the time.

I disagree, nipple confusion can definitely be a thing. Great for you that you didn't experience it but it's 100% what ruined my breastfeeding journey after have no latch issues whatsoever until I was pressured into topping up with formula by the HV and suddenly had a baby that didn't seem to know what a nipple was after. My biggest regret is listening to the HV full stop and not seeking help for an IBCLC first.

Those groups can be so hit and miss especially depending on which one it is, there's one that is run by professionals, you can only post during certain "open" times but it's basically so questions go through professionals first rather than just a melting pot of random opinions.

There are lots of nutters in the "breast is best" camp. You do whatever is best for you and the baby. The only important thing is to make sure baby is fed adequately and is growing well, whether it's straight from the breast, or pumped or formula.

i think I know that group and I’d dispute the fact it’s run by professionals… there might be some IBLBCs but most are peer supporters, which is great but some of the advice I’ve seen on there… yikes.

just grateful I wasn’t on them when I was struggling with my first

Interesting if they're not as they definitely act like they are. I rarely read into the replies these days tbf, I had to mute it due to struggles and it causing me more stress and guilt seeing other people's issue free journeys.