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Original poster

DD still believes in Father Christmas

81 replies

FooFighter99 · 14/12/2022 15:16

She's 11 on Friday....

Do I tell her he isn't real, or let her eventually find out on her own?

I'm genuinely shocked no-one at school has burst the Santa bubble yet but I think Covid and no school for a year may be partly to blame

Is she too old? She's quite a young/naïve girl tbh (not baby-ish, but not overly mature either)

OP posts:
SerenaTee · 14/12/2022 15:19

As she’s still at primary school, let her believe for one more year, I know a few kids who still believed in the last year of primary and were told before they started secondary school.

OoooohMatron · 14/12/2022 15:19

I wouldn't burst her bubble, especially this close to Christmas. Definitely tell her before she starts secondary school though.

Newuser82 · 14/12/2022 15:19

Ah leave her be. They are only young once.

Noimaginationforaun · 14/12/2022 15:20

I’ve see a few of these threads. People are usually brutal!

Personally, it’s 10 days until Christmas. Couldn’t she have one last Christmas believing? Would that be so terrible?

Rowthe · 14/12/2022 15:21

You need to tell her before she starts Secondary

Kids can be brutal.

Newnamefor2021 · 14/12/2022 15:21

I never tell them around Christmas. Wait until the summer.

LlynTegid · 14/12/2022 15:22

I think you should talk to her in the new year. Being positive about why you let her believe in Father Christmas for so long, but explaining that it would put her at risk of bullying were you not to have the conversation before starting secondary school.

MolliciousIntent · 14/12/2022 15:23

I highly doubt that she actually genuinely still believes. Surely she's capable of the critical thinking to work it out, and is just playing along because she enjoys the magic of it? I think there's a huge number of kids that age doing similar.

The only child I've ever met who absolutely genuinely believed in Father Christmas at that age was incredibly vulnerable and now retrospectively I suspect SEN. I would suggest it's much more likely that deep down your DD knows it isn't real but it keeping the magic going because she enjoys it. In which case you can just sort of phase it out by talking about it less and making it less central to your Christmas traditions.

Adelaide66 · 14/12/2022 15:26

What a great girlie, well done you. She sounds positive and content. Which we'd all like to be. Change of subject
Have you told her about periods?

Original poster
FooFighter99 · 14/12/2022 15:28

Oh I'm absolutely not going to be telling her this close to Christmas!!! That would just be cruel!

But I am surprised no one in her class at school has said anything, unless they have and she's choosing to ignore them. Her cousin, who is 7, very much still believes (went to see "Him" at the weekend actually) so I do think that's why it's carried on so long

I'll have to tell her before she starts high school - can you imagine if she still believed this time next year, bless her

It's horrible though, isn't it, that we lie to them for years and years and then suddenly the rug gets pulled and they learn it was all fake Xmas Sad

OP posts:
lovemelovemesaythatyouloveme · 14/12/2022 15:30

It's not a lie though is it, Christmas magic takes many forms and Father Christmas is just a child version of this IMO

Original poster
FooFighter99 · 14/12/2022 15:32

Adelaide66 · 14/12/2022 15:26

What a great girlie, well done you. She sounds positive and content. Which we'd all like to be. Change of subject
Have you told her about periods?

Thank you, she is bloody lovely!! (if I do say so myself)

Yes, we've had the period chat, though unfortunately she missed all the puberty sessions school set up as she was poorly. And we have some supplies ready, but I plan to get her some period knickers, because I just know she will hate the feel of pads (she's got sensory issues)

A girl in her class got her period last year (Y5!!!) so it's definitely on her radar, and she's developing up top and has started wearing little bra-lets

OP posts:
Original poster
FooFighter99 · 14/12/2022 15:35

MolliciousIntent · 14/12/2022 15:23

I highly doubt that she actually genuinely still believes. Surely she's capable of the critical thinking to work it out, and is just playing along because she enjoys the magic of it? I think there's a huge number of kids that age doing similar.

The only child I've ever met who absolutely genuinely believed in Father Christmas at that age was incredibly vulnerable and now retrospectively I suspect SEN. I would suggest it's much more likely that deep down your DD knows it isn't real but it keeping the magic going because she enjoys it. In which case you can just sort of phase it out by talking about it less and making it less central to your Christmas traditions.

Yes, you may be right.

I have said things in jest like "I'll tell Father Christmas and he won't bring you anything" when she's given me teenager-like attitude, but she never bites...

OP posts:
washingmachineheart · 14/12/2022 15:40

She may already know and be keeping up appearances to keep that magic going. I don't think I told my parents that I "knew" and Father Christmas was just gradually phased out.

stationroads · 14/12/2022 15:42

My children have never been “told” and they still “believe”.

Christmas list for Santa, with their requests, a letter written to Santa and treats left out every Christmas Eve.

They all lay out their sacks and stockings etc.

They are 15/13 & 11.

Everydaywheniwakeup · 14/12/2022 15:43

Mine still believed at that age. By Christmas of year 7 she no longer did, guess someone at school told her.
The vitriol I got on here for mentioning it once on a thread though!!! I was a shit mum, my kid was clearly a thick twat. Fucking vile, I thought it quite sweet and was not remotely concerned about it.

LBFseBrom · 14/12/2022 15:44

I doubt - very much indeed - that your daughter does believe in Father Christmas at 11. Kids often go along with the myth because parents are upset if they don't.

Hillarious · 14/12/2022 15:45

stationroads · 14/12/2022 15:42

My children have never been “told” and they still “believe”.

Christmas list for Santa, with their requests, a letter written to Santa and treats left out every Christmas Eve.

They all lay out their sacks and stockings etc.

They are 15/13 & 11.

Ditto. And mine are 25, 24 and 22.

SummaLuvin · 14/12/2022 15:47

LBFseBrom · 14/12/2022 15:44

I doubt - very much indeed - that your daughter does believe in Father Christmas at 11. Kids often go along with the myth because parents are upset if they don't.

...or because Santa brings presents and they want to keep getting them! I remember being told as a child not only did I have to be good, but that Santa only brings presents to children who believe.

Bestcatmum · 14/12/2022 15:49

I hate to admit this OP but I always scoffed big time at threads like this, I'd be thinking how can a child that age be so naive etc etc. I myself didn't believe in santa at 4 never mind 11.
The other day I was on the phone to DS who is now 40 and I said to him, how old were you when you stopped believing in santa, he didn't want to admit it at first and said, "longer than its socially acceptable" but eventually he said 11 or 12.
How we laughed. I was gobsmacked, he never ever told me he believed in santa we just played along with it for the fun I just assumed it was a game between us.
He said his grandmother had gone to elaborate lengths at xmas, footprints in flour by the open fireplace that kind of thing which kept the belief going.
He's 40, with a degree and a good career as a professional artist so not daft. He's also a complete atheist.

NameChangePoP · 14/12/2022 15:50

My DS8 still believes - my nephew who is the same age knows the 'truth', thanks to his older brother who is 10. They're coming over on Christmas Day and I've told my sister that the boys under no circumstances are to burst my DS's bubble!
He loves the Christmas magic and I intend to keep that alive for as long as possible.

stationroads · 14/12/2022 15:50

@Hillarious I love it! I think it’s great!

I still do things I did when they were tiny, such as, completely different paper that’s hidden away with other gifts wrapped in different paper and a gift tag with just their initial or a sticker saying “from Santa”.

We track Santa too! They still get involved so enjoy the magic! 😀

pinneddownbytabbies · 14/12/2022 15:50

FooFighter99 · 14/12/2022 15:28

Oh I'm absolutely not going to be telling her this close to Christmas!!! That would just be cruel!

But I am surprised no one in her class at school has said anything, unless they have and she's choosing to ignore them. Her cousin, who is 7, very much still believes (went to see "Him" at the weekend actually) so I do think that's why it's carried on so long

I'll have to tell her before she starts high school - can you imagine if she still believed this time next year, bless her

It's horrible though, isn't it, that we lie to them for years and years and then suddenly the rug gets pulled and they learn it was all fake Xmas Sad

It's not horrible at all. You just explain once she realises, that she too has to keep this special story for the little ones.

Chances are she already suspects and she doesn't want to let on, so she's humouring you. I know I did that to my parents for a couple of years. Xmas Grin

SillySausage81 · 14/12/2022 15:52

I have a cousin who still (genuinely) believed right up until 11. I couldn't believe it because she's an intelligent girl. Like several PPs, I assumed she must be pretending and going along with it for her parents' sake (like me and my sister did for about 4 years after we definitively found out the truth), but nope, she truly believed.

Anyway, her mum told her in the summer before starting secondary school, so she didn't get teased.

nobodygirl2023 · 14/12/2022 15:53

She might not actually believe. There was definitely a couple/few years I pretended I still believed to my parents when I didn't. Not sure why I did that, I guess I didn't want to disappoint them ha! There was never a big reveal, just a gradual acceptance over years that I wasn't a believer anymore.

If she genuinely does believe, I wouldn't tell her - she'll get there eventually - it's probably you're last year in any case.