To think this isn't an acceptable way to talk about a child with sen?

[Hattymealy]

this was written by my sons class teacher for his ehcp annual review- ds is 9 and has adhd combined type and autism.

"Social/emotional/behavioural Development-

Behaviour during lessons - complete refusal if he does not want to be involved, this can lead to him exiting, singing over the top of the adults, starting a very different activity of his own choosing Etc.
He will get up and walk in front of an adult making an input- he has no care for the learning of others. Often, he will decide whether he believes a lesson is worth his time based on the initial input, if not then he leaves. Unless it is Art or something based around line drawing, in which case he is all in. If it is a lesson that he believes is "worth it' then he will focus and engage for a period and contribute but at the expense of others. He has a very inflated sense of worth. "

to me this reads like he's choosing to have the difficulties he does and that he basically just thinks he's better than everyone and above school work, and like she is making completely unfounded assumptions about his motivations. Baring in mind the opinion of professionals that have assessed him is that he has very low self esteem which is a large part of his struggles with engaging. He also cries about school almost every single night because he can't cope with the environment at all and it and it makes him feel stupid. I've asked him why he doesn't go in the class much and his answer was "nerves kick in and I can't" So to see him being described as having an inflated sense of worth is very upsetting that they can misunderstand him so much.

I work with a young lad, couple years older than ops. My heart breaks for him and the many issues and barriers he has to deal with.
I still, after more than 2 years with him, get so frustrated and upset by the things he does and his behaviour only gets worse as time goes on.
Of course it is not his fault, genuinely, and we do everything we can for him but its gotten to a stage where every adult who works with him feels hopeless and defeated before they even start each day.

This poor little lad has a horrible home life too, but our other young people refuse to come to our space now because of his behaviour towards them and staff.

Instead of having 15 children per session we only get 3 or 4 max now.

This poor boy needs MUCH MORE support than we/his school can provide and nobody else knows what to do or will do anything.

A manager, very sadly, proposed asking this lad to leave our services, most of the staff went ape shit and said this was a horrible thing to suggest and I agree, it was.
But the other side is, we've lost at least 10 children and families in order to hang on to this one lad whom we do not have enough support for.

I often cry from frustration at home because we want to help everybody but just cant figure it out.

Poorly written. Lack of knowledge in how to handle a child with SEN. But amongst all that- a human being who is at the end of their tether dealing with a classroom full of kids and in desperate need of support. This report needs to be flagged to head teachers in the first instance.
Someone really should proof read reports before they go out as well- ours are signed by both teacher and head teacher.

I hope you get your child the support they need in a specialist school soon OP. Whilst I have every sympathy for how hard this must be on a day to day basis, it’s not the fault of the other children. My daughter sat in genuine fear for an entire year of a child with SEN who was incredibly unpredictable and would just get up and start beating others with chairs, and sometimes even throw the entire table. Nothing was done to protect my daughter other than I was told to show empathy for a “child with SEN who is crying out to be loved”. I was also crying out for my kid to be safe in school, but we weren’t looked after.
All I’m saying here is that there are always two sides to the story and I was beyond frustrated my daughter didn’t have a right to her education because his needs somehow trumped hers.

But yes, the report needs reporting. Sorry you had to read all of that, it must have been very painful.

Or is she setting out plainly all the issues with having a child with extremely challenging needs in the classroom with no proper support, leaving her in a difficult position

This. It reads as a teacher at the very end of their tether, being held personally accountable for every child’s rapid academic progress in a classroom environment and with a lack if support that makes this very challenging indeed.

When do you think the document was written? My guess would be late in the evening or at a weekend, because when else does such paperwork get done?

I wouldn’t like someone, least of all a teacher I leave my child with 5 days a week, describing my child that way. My son has an EHCP and while I can’t remember the wording of it, I’m fairly sure it didn’t read as though he was an irritant to staff. Even though I’m sure at times he was, even though he didn’t mean to be and it was no way his fault.

She treats him with a huge lack of empathy. I've recently had to ask her to stop physically restraining him every morning as a means of getting him into school.
he was refusing to go in but completely shutting down NOT acting out or running off, just standing still not engaging. After about 1 minute he would be retrained and forced into school.
I know they can't leave him out there all day- I offered to wait with him myself until he felt able to go in.
I was treated like a massive nuisance and like I am the cause of the problem for not wanting him physically restrained without good reason.
it got to the point where he was scared to go in because he was scared of being restrained.

he was refusing to go in but completely shutting down NOT acting out or running off, just standing still not engaging. After about 1 minute he would be retrained and forced into school.
I know they can't leave him out there all day- I offered to wait with him myself until he felt able to go in.
Then that's what you'll have to do each day op. Stand there with him til hes ready. Then nobody will touch him.

Their only other alternative would be to leave him outside alone. Which one will you allow?

Did she mean he has a very inflated sense of self worth, or something else? She doesn't say 'self worth' she says 'sense of worth'. From the context, given what she says just before about doing things if he thinks they're 'worth it', I would give it the benefit of the doubt and assume she means something else.

Agree and if she does, crikey. Really hoping she is not one of those teachers who thinks asd, adhd, and other ND conditions are just a “lack of discipline”.

My son has had several and nothing like this. It was a mix of his strengths, weaknesses, what support they felt he needed and goals until next time.

That is what I did do, and will do every time he needs me to. but they have a problem with that because he was going in 5 minutes late (even though all the retraining and resisting made him far more than 5 minutes late) but now after a couple of weeks and that he feels safe that he won't be restrained he goes in fine most of the time. I'm happy to do that, I'm not happy to be made out to be a nuisance because I dont want my child traumatised

He needs to be in a specialist school.
Clearly he cannot manage mainstream school.

As a parent of a DD with school based anxiety forcing them in is definitely not the way forward OP, you are absolutely right. It has to be done on his terms.

In the meeting she said she thinks it's" a hierarchy thing with ds that he believes other children have to do work and he doesn't" so I'm quite sure that's what was meant unfortunatelt

I see - well in that case there’s obviously long running issues behind all this. Did you not feel able to advocate and refuse him being restrained? If you were happy to wait with him and wanted to do so why didn’t you say ‘excuse me, please leave us, I will wait alone until Jacob is ready to go in. I understand that you need to teach your class so I’ll wait with him here.’

If you are able I’d look at withdrawing him from his three days school until his specialist provision becomes available, because this report seems like the latest in a run of problems for you.

^He needs to be in a specialist school.
Clearly he cannot manage mainstream school^

The trouble is, in most cases it's "what specialist school?" Especially if they have reasonable academic ability. The places just don't exist. Schools have been asked to accommodate everyone together but don't have the training, understanding, time or money to do so. A lot of parents give up with school altogether and home educate.

There is an extraordinary mismatch between the number if children who need specialist schooling and the number of places available. The process of getting such a placement can take years - even once it is agreed that that is the correct type of school, there are now sometimes years of waiting for a place to come up.

Which is why the current arrangements beed to be very carefully reviewed. It sounds as if there us no 1:1 funded as part if the EHCP, and this should be the first priority. Can the alternative placement up their hours so he is effectively full time there?

I think it all sounds fine, and familiar of how I approached learning with the "decides if a lesson is worth it" bits.

Except for "He has a very inflated sense of worth" which is bitchy af. If she'd said even "importance" it's be better but self worth is a good thing. And something people tend to not have enough of.

Although some of the language used isn’t great I honestly don’t know how teachers are managing to teach any students when they are dealing with things like this. Can you move him to a sen school?

He needs to be in a specialist school.
Clearly he cannot manage mainstream school.

My thoughts exactly. The language used is not great at all but if your son is singing over adults and being, what sounds like, incredibly disruptive to the point where the learning of the 29 other children comes to a halt - he should not be in mainstream school.

His teacher is not a specialist teacher and has the learning of the 29 other children to consider - that is where their frustration is coming from.

Although it could have been phrased differently, you admit too that your DC doesn't cope in the school environment in your post and his needs sound challenging. Without proper support you must appreciate that she must be extremely frustrated as she is also responsible for the education of the rest of his class.

If I were you I'd be assisting in class if possible until he gets transferred to the specialist school to provide the 1:1 support he needs and help guide him through the day and practice coping strategies. The teacher cannot manage him and teach a class at the same time.... she is in an impossible situation.

Ooh sometimes it's better to be honest

Perhaps it could have been phrased better

@Hattymealy if he is already in a special Ed school I take it he has an ehcp and support for the time he is not? What are they doing when he is singing and disrupting the class?

Also, and I mean this kindly, as the mum of two boys with sen needs and who both attended sen schools, try and grow a thicker skin.

Wow! Unprofessional at best!

He's not 'deciding not to', he CANNOT join certain activities etc. because of his disability.

My dds are asd and adhd and if a teacher wrote that about either of them I would be very worried about how the teacher is dealing with them in class if they think this is an acceptable way to talk about them in a professional capacity.

Whether the school is the 'appropriate' place for him or not is irrelevant. Not sure why other people have decided they know that when they are just reading this. We don't know what provisions are available and how school are making reasonable adjustments to enable him to participate in school at an appropriate level. He needs an advocate in school for him, and that should be his teacher.

I hope you get where you need with this OP. Good luck.

Devils advocate - Based that your trying to move him to an sen school us there any chance that his teacher has made it harsh as evidence of how unsuitable his mainstream placement is?

I am really sympathetic that the teacher has a difficult time trying to support this child without having the infrastructure in place to support them to do so.

The annual review is the place to evidence what support is needed and ask for funds to support that.

Its hard to understand why the language is ableist if you arent familiar with how some SEN present but it really should have been a time to evidence what was working and what wasnt it without sounding irritated by the child.

She doesn't have enough knowledge of children with SEN from what you are saying . I don't think you can lay that at their door. Perhaps use this to explain how and why his behaviour escalates and how to help him cope. We have children working under the table if that's their safe space for a bit. Children should never be restrained just to get them into school. I think the teacher sounds out of her depth.