That people shouldn't start threads they can't deal with?

[toffeeapple77]

Just that really - too many threads that people have to have moved / deleted because they don't care for the replies! Happens too often and makes posting replies a waste of time !

I am guilty of this 🫣

I very rarely start threads - or even reply tbh. I have extremely thin skin. I'd never dare post in AIBU!!!

Usually when I post it's because my mental health and self esteem is at rock bottom and I need a handhold. I say this in the OP.

There are some lovely replies. But also some tough love ones too. And whilst I try to challenge myself and grow thicker skin, I focus on those harsher replies. They're all true, and I do appreciate the honesty. But I will obsess over those replies and revisit the thread and read them over and over... to the point I just want the thread to disappear.

I'm glad the option is there. I'm glad I can no longer go back and read those replies, weeks, months, years afterwards. I know I could just hide the thread and ignore it. But that's not how my condition works. As long as it is there somewhere I will continue to obsess. Its better to go poof 🌟

Sorry I didn't mean for this to be long!!

I agree to an extent. There seems to be an upsurge in threads lately where even the most innocuous criticism is met with “Oh wow - you lot are harsh! I came here for support, and instead I get slated/berated/torn to pieces/insert other OTT description of even the slightest negative response!” Either that, or an OP who has done something really awful then cries “You're all being so mean! Telling me I’m a terrible person!! Whatever happened to #bekind?!”

That said, there have been some ridiculous responses lately too. On one thread I’m on, the OP describes her friend as “rude and ignorant”. While I disagree with her, the number of people dissecting her use of the word “ignorant” was ridiculous. Who cares?

However, by far the worst one is the thread about a MIL seeing the invite list for her son’s wedding. Someone has actually tried to imply her husband is a paedophile because he wants his grandchildren there.

I expect at least a few OPs to be cowardly and leave without a reply. The annoying ones are those who selectively reply, ie. ignore frequently asked questions because the answer might be inconvenient.

Your mental health would only suffer if you didn’t have the self control not to keep going back to it

Knowing it’s there is enough, and worrying about what more people might have said. When your mental health is bad, self control can be in short supply! As can rational thinking.

This. AIBU is not generally a forum for support.

This happened to me years ago. Taught me a lesson.

Had my arse handed to me.

I had a reply deleted the other day. Reason given was 'OP has requested that this reply is deleted'.

I hadn't broken any rules or said anything mean/ sarky, OP just didn't like it so MN deleted it.

Pathetic!

I think you just need to stop caring about it so much. It’s not really worth it at the end of the day. Sometimes threads are genuine, more often thank not it’s a wind-up thread populated with fantastic arseholes.

Perhaps it was one of the traffic-boosting threads that was put up by MNHQ.

Why isn’t your vote on? Couldn’t handle it?

I’ve had a lot of kindness in gardening and exercise - perhaps not so much in AIBU.

The other day someone posted in Health that her blood pressure was too high. A bunch of people came on to say that yes, her blood pressure was incredibly high and she should go to A&E with a lot of !!!s. It wasn’t that high but that probably didn’t do get any good.

Couldn't see where you do this? (On phone?)

I'll try and stop caring about it so much and dial down my apoplectic rage at the issue. (/not sure where you got that from?? It's a thread like any other making idle conversation?)

I think the initial post sets the tone… so if someone normal responds it’s generally ok for rest of thread. the keyboard warriors are bloody fast though and I’m surprised how bloody nasty some people can be

you shouldn't ask an opinion if you can only deal with one type of response that is positive and reinforces your own world view!

This.

Worse, are the OPs who receive 100 replies saying the same thing that the OP doesn’t like, and one reply the OP does like. The OP replies to that one affirming reply with “thank goodness you understand me!”. As though the first 100 posters are all thick and lacking in mental capability 🙄. Nothing whatsoever with the OP being batshit crazy, or totally unreasonable, or not giving the whole picture, or expressing themselves poorly. No. Everyone else is in the wrong.

It must take so much mental energy to block out dissenters. Surely it’s easier to let every opinion in on an equal basis and reach a conclusion?

I have posted with poor MH in the past, asked for handheld. Posted in health but after an hour and bump nothing. So posted in Chat and got responses. Would not use AIBU for that. I can understand vulnerable people wanting threads taken down. Even knowing it’s there hidden would be hard.

This.

Most of the answers are arsehole ones and are of benefit to the OP. It fucks me off more than people having threads deleted or not coming back when they are being annihilated.

*no benefit

Hang on! How can an employer see you're a member of Mumsnet by typing in your email?

What?

Ye gods- my new bosses might find out that not only do I listen to The Archers but I post about it on Mumsnet! Oh the shame 😱

Ironically, I think it’s feeling vulnerable that makes some people do unwise things.

Anonymous forums can be dangerous and bring out the worst in people; people say stuff on here that they wouldn’t dare say to others in real life.

Yanbu

Data leaks?

A lot of vulnerable people post in AIBU because this particular board has the most traffic.

IMHO, the people who start threads that they can't deal with are the ones who know they a BVU yet still argue anyway.