To ask if you agree with this: 'You must always look your best for your man'

[whatfreshhellisthis4]

I'm intrigued to know what Mumsnetters think of this one!

My best friend and I ended up having a chat with her brothers girlfriend who we don't know all that well and got to talking about relationships. We both mentioned that we have been together so long with our partners and know each other so well that they see us in all kinds of states, and if it's just us and our partner in the home (no kids yet) we are generally in practical comfy clothes, no makeup and looking like a shit half the time 😅 obviously if we go out or have guests etc we wouldn't do it.

She was genuinely horrified and her view was that you needed to look your best for your man at all times and he should never see you looking like that. Almost like if you don't they'll cheat on you or have wondering eyes.

Am I in the wrong to think this is ridiculous? I'm genuinely wondering which side of the spectrum people fall on here - are my friends and I lazy and not making any effort or is she being extremely shallow and talking out of her arse?

Come on, you know how this will go. You’re going to get an overwhelming number of sensible posts reassuring you that this woman is batshit.

Hahahahaa. Nope to that.

No your friends and you sound more normal! Sat here in my onesie with bed hair waiting for him to make me a coffee, pre DC FYI… I can’t imagine always feeling as if I had to look my best. How do you relax that way?

This is an odd post.

Each to their own but I could not be arsed with that. I like to be comfy at home and could not be bothered to always make an effort. Does she also think he should always look his best for her? Or does she think it’s only women that should live by that stupid rule?

Is she one of those people who wakes up an hour before her partner so he doesn't see her without make up?

No I look like shit most of the time but it gives me that wow factor when I make an effort 😂

I wonder whether she ever thinks men should always look their best at all times for their women or if it's just another woman's job to add to the list?

I am too lazy to reply so will leave it to other 99% who will say what I think

Op are you really genuinely asking?

I always go out looking best for me. I don't have a man and I don't want one.

How could you live with someone and look your best all the time? What if you're ill? Or asleep?! Or its just Sunday morning and you're lounging hungover on the sofa with birds nest hair, old leggings and a sweatshirt on (and no make up, except what you missed taking off last night). This may be me right now... If it causes DH to go off and have an affair so be it, tho I'm not sure it'll be that easy for him to pull in his current get up of pyjama bottoms and a jumper with a massive hole in the sleeve.

I don't do this, but on reflection I think it's probably not a bad idea... (For both partners to continue making effort for each other).

Your friend is absolutely right. I creep into bed after DH and leap up long before him so he never catches sight of my un-made up face in daylight, and I race home from work daily so I can greet him at the door in a filmy negligee and a bouncy blowdry.

Or, you know, not.

The right man will be happy to see you even at your "worst".

Does she have children? If not she's in for a shock if she thinks she could maintain this look at all times, especially at the birth.

I think that if she puts her looks before actually being there for her man she may well find him feeling unsupported and looking elsewhere and if a man expects his DP/DW to spend so much time and effort on her looks that she can’t do the other things that matter to her, he shouldn’t be surprised to find her getting bored!

are my friends and I lazy and not making any effort or is she being extremely shallow and talking out of her arse?

Oh come on, you know the answer here.

I look my best all the time. Especially when I’m make up free, greasy haired, covered in baby sick. That’s what my husband tells me anyway!

Is she nee to this relationship? Young and hadn’t had a long term relationship yet? Not living together?
Someone should tell her what happens in childbirth 😂
it sounds exhausting being her

Yeah, I will do that when DH does the same, which is never.

I wash and brush my hair, if he wants any more then he is with the wrong person

He does the same

Oh we both wear deodorant, Not sure what other effort is needed

Not always, but it's wise to make an effort every so often - as should your husband.

It's good to give each other reminders as to why you chose to marry one another.

I look how I look. DH can either take it or leave it.

I don't actually. Hence why I posted.

Who’s telling her this?
her boyfriend? His mother , her own mother?

I’ll mention the ‘c’ word… is it a cultural thing for her ( or her ‘advisors’ ) ?

Me currently sat here with me hair scraped up in a bun and clothes I’ve just pulled on. No make up.
Likewise he’s just sat in a pair of joggers and a t-shirt.
surely it works both ways.