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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you feel concerned about this??? Feel scared

147 replies

Hohohoo · 10/12/2022 23:18

Hi

I was speaking to a guy on the next round earlier who I usually speak too if I see him. He was with another guy who ended up asking for my number saying he’d take me out. He seemed nice. I gave him my number and he messaged me asking if I wanted him to come round to my house tonight to watch a film and take away. I didn’t fancy it because I don’t know him but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Kept texting and pestering. I asked him what he was doing and he said ‘outside yours lol’. Not sure if he’s joking but would you be worried ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Hohohoo · 15/12/2022 22:35

Hi everyone

just wanted to update

I didn’t end up blocking him but I did tell him I wasn’t interested in meeting anybody at the moment. I thought he understood but I got back to my house yesterday to a text saying ‘something on your next step for you’ and there was a bouquet of flowers. He then messaged saying ‘shall I come up now then?’’ I didn’t reply and I got in bed and ten minutes later I had a knock on the door and then another.

He left but text me saying ‘sorry if I’ve over stepped the mark. I just want to show you I’m not like every other guy and I really do like you’

He has also just text me 5 minutes ago saying ‘people are really annoying me tonight, please can I just come and stop at yours, I’ll sleep on the sofa’

Im getting really annoyed about this but I’m worried blocking him will make him angry. Unsure what to do

OP posts:
Original poster
Hohohoo · 15/12/2022 22:35

I’ve just gone down to check my doors are locked. I’m worried he will just turn up again knocking and expect me to let him in.

OP posts:
UseAMuckySock · 15/12/2022 22:38

You should have blocked him when all this started. Since you didn’t, send one more text saying “please don’t contact me again, any further messages from you will be saved, screenshot and shown to the police when I report you for harrassment”.

OldFan · 15/12/2022 22:42

Mucky is right @Hohohoo . Send that and then block on everything, unless you enjoy the drama.

CambsAlways · 15/12/2022 22:46

I don’t quite understand it you said on 11th you were going to block him when you got home, it’s now 15th and still not blocked him, why aren’t you blocking this idiot,

MardyHa · 15/12/2022 22:47

‘Do not contact me again or I will report you for harrassment.’ Do not add any ‘at the moment’ or other additions. I’d get a ring doorbell / camera if you don’t have one too.

RampantIvy · 15/12/2022 22:48

CambsAlways · 15/12/2022 22:46

I don’t quite understand it you said on 11th you were going to block him when you got home, it’s now 15th and still not blocked him, why aren’t you blocking this idiot,

I agree with @CambsAlways. Why haven't you blocked him?

Original poster
Hohohoo · 15/12/2022 22:49

Definitely not enjoying the drama, it’s making me feel uneasy. I will do that and block him, just worried about angering him as something seems very off

OP posts:
MardyHa · 15/12/2022 22:49

Make sure you keep screenshots of all and lock down your social media too. The being nice method isn’t working, so direct with no emotion and mean it.

Original poster
Hohohoo · 15/12/2022 22:50

Just can’t understand why he thinks I would let him into my house to sleep on the sofa when I do not know him

OP posts:
OldFan · 15/12/2022 22:51

He's just trying his luck OP

RampantIvy · 15/12/2022 22:52

By not blocking him you are giving him the opportunity to message you and harrass you. He might get the message that you aren't interested if you do block him.

So do it now

UseAMuckySock · 15/12/2022 22:54

So have you blocked him now? Or are you going to keep this going for a few more days? 🙄

Daisymay2 · 15/12/2022 22:55

You don't need to understand him- other than he thinks you are interested in him.
Send one of the messages above along the lines- Do not contact me again or leave gifts. I will view any further contact as harassment.
If he does contact you, its a Police matter.
You need to close this down

Dulcetto · 15/12/2022 22:55

Why have you not blocked him? Do it NOW and stopping arsing around. Why do you care if he gets angry? You don’t know him and he’s borderline harassing and stalking you.

Marthaandthemuffins · 15/12/2022 22:59

Please be careful.
Have you told friends and family irl so they’re aware what’s been happening?

CambsAlways · 15/12/2022 23:00

Look at this from his side, and god forbid I’m not sticking up for him! He’s saying all sorts of things to you, you are carrying it on in his eyes, he’s seeing it as if you don’t mind him contacting you can you understand that! You are doing nothing to put a stop to his texts, so what happens he carries on and is now knocking on your door at night so getting more bold! You need to block him screenshot everything go to the police .you don’t want this harassment so do something about it , it’s been going on far too long!

ViburnumFarreri · 15/12/2022 23:03

Blokes aren’t mind readers - in fact some of them are thick as mud and very thick skinned to boot. You need to tell him clearly to leave you alone, and if he doesn’t stop it then becomes harassment.

Send him one more message: “I’m not interested, sorry. Your messages are making me really uncomfortable and you need to leave me alone now.”

Then block him. If he keeps trying to contact you/ comes round/ approaches you in the street, keep a log of everything (and all his texts) and go to the police.

MardyHa · 15/12/2022 23:26

I wouldn’t say sorry, or how you’re feeling, just say ‘Stop contacting me or I’ll report you for harassment.’ And mean it.

Ahsoka2001 · 15/12/2022 23:27

Wow, I'd forgotten this thread - this guy has wayyy overstepped the mark based on your latest updates. I agree with PPs, please do block him and threaten with reporting for harassment...because that's what he's doing. What an idiot.

NicLondon1 · 15/12/2022 23:37

You need to be very clear, don't give him any excuses. "I am not interested and this is stalking harassing behaviour. I am going to block you now and if you contact me again in any way I shall I form the police."
Don't worry about feeling embarrassed if you bump into him somewhere, he needs to learn. He should feel embarrassed, not you.

Oysterbabe · 15/12/2022 23:37

Reply with
Stop messaging me. If you come to my house I will call the police.
And then block him.

QS90 · 15/12/2022 23:49

If the OP hasn't responded to any of the messages or spoken to him in real life, yes it's harassment. However, we don't know whether the OP has been responding to his messages or not. If he's getting replies to his messages which aren't "Stop contacting me", the lines are a bit more blurred. As a PP already said, some people might have thick skin and not realise the attention is unwanted in this situation.

CamillasToe · 15/12/2022 23:52

Write one last text saying if he continues to contact you in any form you'll report him to the police for harassment then block him. Don't speak to him if you see him out and about.

Yes it probably feels like an overreaction but after a few day or weeks of this shit you'll wish you'd done it early on.

pursuedbyablackdog · 15/12/2022 23:56

His behaviour is not okay.
You need to be 100% clear "not interested" it's concise, it conveys no emotion and then block. Do NOT mention in anyway he is creeping you out (he'll use it to his full advantage). Do NOT apologise, you have done nothing wrong. Personally I wouldn't let him know I was reporting him to the police, but I would contact 101 and be asking for their advice and logging it.

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