Would you feel concerned about this??? Feel scared

[Hohohoo]

Hi

I was speaking to a guy on the next round earlier who I usually speak too if I see him. He was with another guy who ended up asking for my number saying he’d take me out. He seemed nice. I gave him my number and he messaged me asking if I wanted him to come round to my house tonight to watch a film and take away. I didn’t fancy it because I don’t know him but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Kept texting and pestering. I asked him what he was doing and he said ‘outside yours lol’. Not sure if he’s joking but would you be worried ?

He seemed nice at the time but I did feel a bit pressured into giving my number. He asked me if I ever go out round here and I said sometimes and that’s when he said I’ll take you out. The guy I know then said ‘there you go then, you should exchange numbers’ but now I’m wishing I didn’t run into him!

Have you blocked him yet?

Going to block him now. Im out at the moment and he must have noticed I’m out as my cars gone and he’s asking what time I’m home. I’m just hoping I don’t see him around but I most likely will do as he is only down the street

Install HOLLY (?) app on your phone. Let a couple of close friends know what’s happening and have them on speed dial.
Go to the police and show them the creepy messages. Ask if an officer can come home with you.

all of this is not too much. It’s just making sure you are safe.

if at ANY point you feel unsafe, CALL THE POLICE. Don’t hesitate.

This is awful and I'm sorry these men put you in this situation. Intentionally or not.

Being asked for your number when you're in a bar etc is one thing but a neighbour? Who knows where you live? Can see when you're in with the lights on / car parked etc is bad.

Reply that you're seeing someone.

He seems obsessive or desperate as he doesn't actually know you does he?

You said no, he won't accept it and now he's stalking you. Block and ignore him. Go to the Police and make a complaint, it may help, although going on recent cases, it may not.

Best of luck.

What do you mean he is changing some locks? At his place? It’s not you who insisted to go to his, it’s the other way around. Why would he be changing his locks?

What does 'changing some locks' mean?
(Is it some kind of threat?)

He didn't take your 'no' answer ... this is useful information about the kind of man he is.

Be glad that you are not trying to make him understand 'no' when there is no front door in his way.

You need to work at not being polite in situations like this. Your instinct about the phone number was a sound one. You let the urge to be polite overule your better judgement.

Another one confused by the locks comment…what a weird guy.

He is full on. He noticed your car is gone! WTF. How invested in you is he already to know what vehicle you drive and to know it’s not at your house. Damn, I am sorry but as ex-police that is very very creepy.

Do you have a ring doorbell or similar? Or any type of cameras outside?

Not trying to go full alarm over this guy but he is giving me full on creep alert. It’s not asking for your number in itself, he may have seen you around and been crushing on you. It happens. It’s his actions since. His messages last night saying he’s outside and pushing to come in, weird messages Re changing locks, him knowing when your vehicle is gone and asking when you are home!

Hit post too soon. The just rings my stalking/creep alert. Please, tell him to not contact you again and if it’s anything like here, Canada, that any further contact will be met with police intervention. Block and use your cameras to see if he is actually coming by.

So wrong after him only having your number for a day! Maybe if you had been dating and you broke his heart, super wrong then as well, don’t get me wrong. Just more understandable then someone having a number for a day and essentially stalking your house and knowing your car is gone and asking when you will be home!!!

There is a book, Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. Highly recommend as it helps with situational awareness. Just being aware of your surroundings, being alert but still living your life.

What does he mean by changing some locks?
Honestly I'd ignore all future messages, and invest in a ring doorbell if you don't already have one.

The implication is he wants to change your locks OP so he can get in (I'm not saying he will do that- the comment is designed to weird you out though.)

I think I would be phoning the police. I've done it when a bloke sent me a lot of unwanted sexual messages. The police rang him and told him to stop it. Tell him to stop contacting you and if he does again, report it.

Thank you all. I was confused myself what he meant about changing locks.

He did Whatsapp me a few messages asking me if I fancy coming round and then said it’s minus one and he needs somebody to keep him warm. I didn’t reply and he said ‘you don’t seem very interested’.

He then messaged half an hour saying ‘I’ve got something for you that I think you will like it you give me a chance’.

I thought I had made it clear I wasn’t interested in going to his house but he is being very persistent

He's creepy. I'd report him to the police. Sounds like a stalker

‘you don’t seem very interested’.

'I'm not, that's why.'

I thought I had made it clear I wasn’t interested in going to his house but he is being very persistent

It's kind of sexual bullying but you also could spell it out- this would help because then you've made it explicit that you're not interested and could contact the police if he says anything unwanted again.

I probably would actually msg 'I'm not interested and you're giving me the creeps. If you contact me in any way again I'll call the police.'

Oh christ just block him. It doesn’t sound like he’s going to take any notice of anything you say, just plans to keep on pestering until you give in and have sex with him. What a prince.

Tell him in no uncertain terms to piss off.

Then block him and get a ring doorbell.

Sorry OP, I know it's a very short acquaintance so far, but his behaviour ticks all these boxes.

'Unsure if you are a victim of stalking?
Consider the the widely used acronym FOUR that can help identify stalking. Is the beahviour [sic]

Fixated,
Obsessive,
Unwanted &
Repeated?'

www.paladinservice.co.uk/get-support

Please read all of that page for advice on how to manage this situation.

You gave him your number? Why??

At this point I'd alert the police but he'll always know where you live. Not sure what your longer-term options are.

Why haven't you said "I'm not interested" then blocked him yet?

Yeah, if you don't block him, he will keep messaging you and causing upset. Do you know how to block a person? It's easy to research online...

😂😂😂 ⛄️

This happened to me a few years ago. In my twenties. I knew of him & knew all his mates so thought he was decent. He asked me for my number on fb so gave it to him. Absolute worse mistake. He'd bombard me 24/7. He would turn up outside my apartment in the early hours ringing my intercom. (I didn't know he only lived round the corner) text me, ring me. I was so scared. I blocked him on everything but then he would randomly text off another phone or get another number. This was on/off for years. He would send me unwanted dick piks 🤮 he was just horrendous.

I would make sure you tell someone what's happening, block & delete him on everything. Get a ring camera on your door. If possible tell him your giving it another go with a ex so you can't speak anymore.

Also, have you been replying to him? If so, he might not understand that the attention is unwanted. Obviously a sensible person would have worked it out for themselves, but not everyone is sensible.