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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you feel concerned about this??? Feel scared

147 replies

Hohohoo · 10/12/2022 23:18

Hi

I was speaking to a guy on the next round earlier who I usually speak too if I see him. He was with another guy who ended up asking for my number saying he’d take me out. He seemed nice. I gave him my number and he messaged me asking if I wanted him to come round to my house tonight to watch a film and take away. I didn’t fancy it because I don’t know him but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Kept texting and pestering. I asked him what he was doing and he said ‘outside yours lol’. Not sure if he’s joking but would you be worried ?

OP posts:
FOJN · 11/12/2022 08:28

A man who won't take no for an answer is one to avoid.

"I said no, leave me alone, do not contact me again". Then block.

Do not feel you have to be polite, he is the one in the wrong.

Call the police if the situation escalates.

Have nothing further to do with this man, he is bad news.

knittingaddict · 11/12/2022 08:30

How old are you op? I'm assuming very young because most women would have blocked him long ago. Do that next time as it avoids a lot of unnecessary drama.

Also maybe don't give your phone number to complete strangers who know where you live. That tends to avoid unnecessary worry about your safety.

ilikethatname · 11/12/2022 08:33

Block block block - what a tool.

FlimFlam2 · 11/12/2022 08:44

Hi OP,

Men like this deliberately prey on women who are young or not confident. When someone approaches you don't be nice and don't indulge him - he will (correctly) interpret this as a sign of your inexperience and will press you more! Just firmly and loudly say "I'm not interested/leave me alone/I don't have time for this" and move away if you can. I know it's really difficult - I have also previously, under what I felt was intense pressure, given my number to a random man!! Had to change it in the end as the phone rang off the hook.

The more you stand up for yourself, the easier it is to do. No one bothers me these days (the harassment abruptly stops once you're out of your 20s!) and I take great pleasure in telling any adult blokes who bother young women in public to jog on.

misskatamari · 11/12/2022 08:49

Wtaf?! He sounds unhinged. Do not under any circumstances go out with this man. If he turns up at your house call the police. I would probably send a text telling him you won’t be seeing him and not to contact you again, and then block. He doesn’t deserve an explanation text, but his behaviour is so odd, I think I would want to make it clear that I wouldn’t be communicating again as his attention is over the top, and vastly inappropriate.

Crayfishforyou · 11/12/2022 08:51

Urgh
what a nasty oily creature.
text back ‘that’s not funny, that’s creepy’ and block

Whityedaine · 11/12/2022 08:51

100% weirdo. Don't engage with him again OP - no matter how charming he comes across if you see him out again. To be that pushy is a huge red flag.

Backstreets · 11/12/2022 08:52

What a loser! Hope he froze his balls off

Grimchmas · 11/12/2022 08:52

I hope you managed to get some sleep OP.

He is an outrageously creepy fucker.

If you haven't already, one sharp blunt message this morning telling him "Do not contact me again" and block.

Next time you see your nice friend tell him his mate was a creepy harassing knob head to you and ask him for his help to make sure it has ended. If you see the creepy knocker and he speaks to you tell him that his behaviour was unacceptable and to go away and leave you alone. Do not hesitate to shout or scream it if you feel threatened.

Spookysparkles · 11/12/2022 09:29

Ugh I remember these try ons from my single days.
a takeaway and film round his does not constitute a date, it is an opportunity for him to try and get his leg over.
sorry but if he’s not taking you out on a proper date and is already pestering to get you round his- delete and block.
he sounds like a creep.

RottingAutumnApples · 11/12/2022 09:33

SunshineLoving · 11/12/2022 00:00

Don't respond to him. Make sure all doors and windows are locked when you go to bed. If he speaks to you in person, I would tell him that you aren't interested in seeing him. If he persists, tell him you will report him for harassment. And definitely do report him for harassment if he continues.

This.

PuddyR79 · 11/12/2022 09:38

Are you ok this morning OP? I hope you blocked him, in future don't keep responding to messages like that from creeps, very clearly say no and then block if he doesn't respect your no answer.

Parkingmoan1 · 11/12/2022 09:40

Are you sure he was outside and not just saying that? Completely unacceptable, but I've had people piss about before saying they're on their way round when they weren't. It's just an immature way of getting your attention.

rainbowstardrops · 11/12/2022 09:59

He sounds like he's about 15! Hope you're ok though

CambsAlways · 11/12/2022 10:27

You sound very young either that or incredibly naive, I wouldn’t be handing my phone number over to a stranger on the street regardless where he lived, he sounds young and a bit of a melt, if you text back lol you are giving him the impression you are enjoying the text, block the idiot

Bog · 11/12/2022 10:36

As a man myself, that's weird. My wife would have told me to fuck off.

StressedSandwich · 11/12/2022 10:46

He's obviously just after sex and thinks you are going to give in. He sounds very immature and id definitely avoid but I'd still text him asking if he often spends his weekends outside women's houses and if he's on some sort of watch list I need to be made aware of because its creepy as hell. Once he realises you ain't gonna have sex with him he will probably loose interest.

IToldYouAmillionTimesAlready · 11/12/2022 11:08

You gave him your number, so naturally, he thought you were interested. If you're not interested, ignore his messages, and block his number. Of course, he won't hang about outside your house, it's too bloody cold for that. Be careful about giving your number out to random blokes - you'll get the reputation of being a prick-tease.

Fancylike · 11/12/2022 11:10

IToldYouAmillionTimesAlready · 11/12/2022 11:08

You gave him your number, so naturally, he thought you were interested. If you're not interested, ignore his messages, and block his number. Of course, he won't hang about outside your house, it's too bloody cold for that. Be careful about giving your number out to random blokes - you'll get the reputation of being a prick-tease.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Namechangedforthisonetoday · 11/12/2022 11:12

And you’ll get a reputation for being a bit dim writing things like that itoldyouamilliontimesalready

Nomchan · 11/12/2022 11:14

IToldYouAmillionTimesAlready · 11/12/2022 11:08

You gave him your number, so naturally, he thought you were interested. If you're not interested, ignore his messages, and block his number. Of course, he won't hang about outside your house, it's too bloody cold for that. Be careful about giving your number out to random blokes - you'll get the reputation of being a prick-tease.

Are you actually insane???

FOJN · 11/12/2022 11:16

Be careful about giving your number out to random blokes - you'll get the reputation of being a prick-tease.

"Prick-tease"? Giving a man your phone number is an invitation for him to harass you? Don't be a dick.

First two rules of misogyny.

  1. Women are responsible for what men do.
  2. Women saying no to men is a hate crime.
PonyPatter44 · 11/12/2022 11:20

There is literally nothing wrong with giving your number out to a man who seems nice and who you wouldn't mind going on a date with. She is not at fault here the man who turned out to be a creepy twat is 100% at fault!

Using terms like "prick tease" is a dead giveaway that you are also a twat.

Ahsoka2001 · 11/12/2022 11:41

I'm a man and yes, this is very creepy, sounds like something off r/niceguys. I wouldn't be speaking to him again and would be telling his friend who you know aswell.

Hohohoo · 11/12/2022 12:45

Hi everyone. Thank you for your replies. I’m in my early twenties and I would say he is late twenties? I live alone. He has been messaging me again this morning telling me he’s ‘changing some locks lol’. I just have a bad vibe from him

OP posts: