Husband has emails from Match.com

[CluelesslyCurious]

Hi all, have name changed for this one as quite frankly it’s embarrassing! For the sake of this thread I will refer to husband as “DH” although he’s far from that.

Was getting the DC ready for school yesterday when DD handed me DH’s phone. I was reaching to put it on the bedside table and happened to glance down at the screen and see that he had an email from Match.com. Just for context I’ve never looked through his phone or felt the need to. Immediately my heart began to race for reasons that are obvious!

I waited until he had come back from dropping the kids off and confronted him about it. He acted confused and said “I don’t know why would I be on match.com? It’s a spam email.” I told him to pass me his phone so I could see if it was just spam as I feel I was entitled to look to see if what he was saying was true. I typed in “Match.com” in the search bar of his emails so I could scroll through.

There were lots of emails, most of them unopened but they all mentioned him by NAME! For example, Hi , you have two profile views. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I clicked on the link and it did in fact take me to the match.com login page. I told him to login and he claimed there’s nothing for him to login to. I continued to scroll through the emails in an attempt to find a potential email that would show if he had signed up but couldn’t find anything.

May I add whilst I was doing this he was berating me calling me “insecure” and “crazy” although I hadn’t gone fishing for anything nor suspected him of such a thing up until I happened to see the email. I feel I had the right to look as his wife because if I had emails from a dating website I am pretty sure he would have something to say. I felt like I was being gaslighted. As I had somewhere to be I left it at that and as for now he thinks I believe his version of events but I have a horrible feeling in my gut that there is so much more to uncover.

Wise users of Mumsnet please give me some advice! Am I crazy?

I had match emails for years after I had stopped using it. I think they make it really hard to fully remove your profile so it looks like they have more users.

This.

I still get them. Also get emails from LinkedIn telling me I've had profile views despite having deleted profile.

The main oddity is if he's claiming never to have signed up. I guess it's possible they got his email from a marketing database.

Go onto the POF website and attempt to create an account with DH name.

A lot of websites will pop up with ‘email already in use’ if there’s an account.

Good tip but equally so a lot of websites will say ‘IF’ we already have your email address a password reset will be sent to you, to prevent this sort of thing

why is he calling her crazy if he hasnt done anything though

id just say its spam or someones pretending to be me i wo9ldnt call my oh crazy

It might depend on if op is always suspicious remember we only get one side of the story

He looked confused and did say that it was spam but then OP said

“I told him to pass me his phone so I could see if it was just spam as I feel I was entitled to look to see if what he was saying was true. There were lots of emails, most of them unopened but they all mentioned him by NAME! For example, Hi , you have two profile views. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I clicked on the link and it did in fact take me to the match.com login page. I told him to login and he claimed there’s nothing for him to login to. I continued to scroll through the emails in an attempt to find a potential email that would show if he had signed up but couldn’t find anything.“

It while she was basically calling him a liar and telling him to login that he said she was crazy and insecure.

Sign up and search for people of his age group and within your area to see if you find him

I met my other half on match, I only got e-mails whilst signed up and if it refers to a profile then he had a profile. Sorry.

Zombie thread, OP hasn’t been on since December 🧟‍♀️

You’ve acted in haste here. You should have not mentioned it to him, created a fake profile and searched for him on there based on location, then confronted him. Slowly slowly catchy Twat.

I didn't read all of the thread, but there is a small chance that they could be scam emails pretending to be from Match. I get something similar in my hotmail account. I get emails that look as if they are from Match but when you click on the name of the sender then it becomes apparent that it is some kind of a phishing scam as there is a foreign name there in the email address line, but you won't realise that unless you properly click on the name of the sender (but initial appearances are it's from Match or another dating site, or sometimes pretending to be from Hotmail or Apple, etc.)

Hi OP think of this how old is his email address that match are sending mails too?
I have a match account I made in the last year I think I may have deleted it can’t remember I still don’t get random emails . And match is def something people still use I think it depends what kind of “dating “ you are looking for . ?
Maybe he’s on more maybe he’s looking around ?
Also my ex was up to all sorts I doesn’t know what’s was true and what wasn’t . He had his phone on do not disturb . He wouldn’t let me access it. He would get angry too. I could write a massive list . He too gaslight me even now a year on I can’t believe the muddle I was in being lied to.

My though process now is leave at the first sniff as it’s just the start . No respect or he wouldn’t be doing it . He lying don’t be fooled . If you can’t access his emails or profile then ask for his phone and try on that if he won’t give you his phone that says it all , although you have given him time to cover his tracks now .

Probably just junk, and if your email has your full name in it may be where thr name comes from.