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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you let this comment go?

28 replies

Rolaskatox · 08/12/2022 22:33

I have a much younger sister, she's very tall and a little overweight, but she's lost some weight since going to uni. It's not something I would ever comment on.
Anyway she was recently in the background of a news broadcast as some people were being interviewed.
I showed it to my partner in excitement, saying, "Look, she's on the news!"
Straight away he said, "What's she on for, obesity?"
I was instantly like, what?!
He started saying sorry, sorry I didn't mean that it just came out , I didn't mean it.
I just don't know what to think..

OP posts:
Waiteflower · 08/12/2022 22:33

What an asshole.

Starrystarrylights · 08/12/2022 22:34

It's hard to imagine a nice person saying that.

Goingtogoinsane · 08/12/2022 22:35

What a twat

Original poster
Rolaskatox · 08/12/2022 22:35

It was clearly one of those where he didn't engage his brain and then instantly realised what he'd said. She's only 19, i really hope he didn't mean it.

OP posts:
ShoddyCustomerCare · 08/12/2022 22:37

Disgusting. Get him to fuck. That's your sister he is objectifying negatively.

lalala1234 · 08/12/2022 22:40

It's probably just the sort of joke he would make with his mates but unfortunately it slipped out around you.

Honestly..I would've laughed it my partner said this sort of thing.

lookersnoopy · 08/12/2022 22:42

Rolaskatox · 08/12/2022 22:35

It was clearly one of those where he didn't engage his brain and then instantly realised what he'd said. She's only 19, i really hope he didn't mean it.

Look at you excusing and defending him. Ask yourself why?

Original poster
Rolaskatox · 08/12/2022 22:42

You'd laugh if someone called your family fat?

OP posts:
Dotcheck · 08/12/2022 22:43

He made a very bad joke in poor taste in his own home. He apologised immediately. Tell him it was an awful thing to say, and move on. No real need for divorce.

Xmassprout · 08/12/2022 22:43

Of course he meant it. You don't just blurt out something like that if it wasn't what you're thinking

LizzieSiddal · 08/12/2022 22:44

Is this a one off or does he say awful things a lot?

UglyNameChange · 08/12/2022 22:45

lalala1234 · 08/12/2022 22:40

It's probably just the sort of joke he would make with his mates but unfortunately it slipped out around you.

Honestly..I would've laughed it my partner said this sort of thing.

What was the funny part?

OP, YANBU, that was awful thing to say.
I don’t believe he was joking.
Knowing what men can be about women’s looks, I just don’t think he said it lightly.

EdieLedwell · 08/12/2022 22:48

Dotcheck · 08/12/2022 22:43

He made a very bad joke in poor taste in his own home. He apologised immediately. Tell him it was an awful thing to say, and move on. No real need for divorce.

This. I've been married to an engage mouth before brain man for over 30'years. He's a walking gaff machine and has had to make some apologies to people.

We don't let him off with a single one. He's better now, but ffs he's dropped some clangers over the years.

Scurryfunge12 · 08/12/2022 22:49

He did mean it, that’s why it came out so easily. He’s not a nice person OP

DiamondShape · 08/12/2022 22:50

I'm not sure. I agree he's acknowledged it was wrong and apologised straight away, he didn't say it to her, but I dont think it's the sort of thing a kind person thinks let alone says.

NatalieIsFreezing · 08/12/2022 22:55

I don't understand the joke? Has anyone ever been on the news "for obesity"?

That's not actually a thing that happens, so presumably he was so desperate to make it known that HE THINKS SHE'S FAT! that he had to crowbar it in even though it didn't work in any sense as a joke, in case a better opportunity didn't come up later on.

Clarabe1 · 08/12/2022 22:55

Depends if it is a slip up and out of character for him or he is always horrible? If it’s out of character I would have probably whacked with the tea towel and let it go. You know him, not us. What sort of person is he?

HappyAxolotl · 08/12/2022 22:55

Does he make bad taste jokes about women's appearance normally? Or only about your sister?

Readaboutyourself · 08/12/2022 22:56

What a prick

Eixample · 08/12/2022 22:59

I wonder what you would find out about him if gained weight or your appearance changed.

samqueens · 08/12/2022 23:14

Just not a very nice guy apparently…

“when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time” Maya Angelou

Mariposista · 08/12/2022 23:30

Very poor taste joke but he has apologised without needing to be prompted. Not everyone is complementary about everyone all the time.

lookersnoopy · 08/12/2022 23:33

Mariposista · 08/12/2022 23:30

Very poor taste joke but he has apologised without needing to be prompted. Not everyone is complementary about everyone all the time.

You don't have to be complementary all the time. Quite often you can say nothing. The suggestion that it's ok to say whatever you want as long as you apologise is weird as well.

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 08/12/2022 23:37

There was no joke here he made a nasty comment without thinking but it shows what he thinks and that would probably make me questions other things he has said or done.

JoyfulGirl · 08/12/2022 23:43

He sounds like a prick. Is he usually like this? Does he have some kind of issue with your sister?