to be so narked about the vile child at toddler group

[IndigoMoon]

I go to a toddler group on a friday, I go with a friend and it is a lovely group. It gets me out, i get a cup of coffee and a biscuit and ds tires himself out.

there is one child who is 2 years plus and he is the most awful kid! he kicks, punches and generally runs riot with no supervision from his mom.

we were sitting in a circle today just before the end doing the singing bit and ds was crawling to me. this child ran up to him and kicked him in the face!!!!

i went ballistic, stood up with screaming ds (14 months) and shouted at this mom that her son had just kicked my son.

the boy had run to her and she just shrugged. she then bought her son over to play again and asked if ds was ok. i said yes but said that it was particulary nasty, no accident. she said "ah he is a child" at which i said yes but it was vicious. the boy then went on to try to kick another child, punched a child and generally again was allowed to get away with it.

i spoke to one of the leaders and they did have a word with her but a few moms came and asked if i was alright and commented on how awful this child is.

i am more than likely going next week i am tempted to go and tell this mom that if her son lays another finger on my son that i am making an official complaint.

i dont think he should be made to leave but surely the group have the powers to tell her to watch him more closely!!!!!

there are ways of doing it , though, without either embarassing the mother or humiliating the child

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If someone actually sympathised with that mother and said 'It can be so hard at this age cant it when mine did that I used to do *' then maybe she could start dealing with it.

Nooooooooo, Hunker, I wouldnt be that daft, arent they just dogs? With less fur?

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yanbu

he sounds a real pain. a mum came up to me yesterday about my ds, just turned 3, saying he had 3 times hit her ds. My ds knew it was naughty and if he had done it last week when he was 2 he would have known. Kids need to be told. At a very young age - 12 months or so - they understand when you say a sharp "NO" to touching something, so at 2/3 they can and should be corrected.

"Nooooooooo, Hunker, I wouldnt be that daft, arent they just dogs? With less fur?"

Excellent point Ladyvictoriansqualor.

They are much like dogs.

Strong discipline and a clear hierachal divide.

Hunkermunker - I am sorry for the misunderstanding, I did not think you were being rude, my vulgarity comment was tongue in cheek.

Glad it's not just me Effie- this is a fab wind-up by Fenella, hats off

She didnt ignore it, she didnt see it and when the OP went 'ballistic' at her she asked if OP's child was ok, and said 'Ah he is just a child'.
If my child kicked someone and their mother proceeded to stand up and go ballistic at me and shout I'd tell her that at least my son was a toddler using aggressive language and behaviour ratehr than an adult.

LadyV, completely agree.

don;t think anyone is advocating ignoring the behaviour at all, doodle, just doing things that do not embarass or humiliate either the mother or the child

A fine???
RELEASE THE ASBO POLICE!

hmm i think i was at this toddler group

Perhaps the mother of the 2 year old just saw the children as vaguely the same age and all part of normal toddler shoving around. People vary wildy on how they interpret this sort of stuff.

Agree with LVS.

By charmkin on Fri 01-Feb-08 16:43:39
hmm i think i was at this toddler group

Perfect! You could be an eyewitness.

PMSL

pmsfl at telling the police! I have a crazy image of a 2 year old, sat under a spot light, being interogated by the police!
The op, did only say the childs behaviour was vile, not the child.
I thought the best way to deal with an aggressive toddler, was to completely cuddle and pay attention to the child that was hurt. My ds used to bite, and shout at my friends ds a lot. I found this to be the best way to deal wih it, and it hasnt done it for 18 months.

Fenella, could you organise a line-up, possibly? With a very short height chart behind them?

Agree with Lulu

Oh god i'd much rather be the mother of the child who was hit than the hitter himself and have to bear all of that hatred from other mothers

'Vile' and 'awful'

Blimey...he's a little boy who is going though a difficult patch...just be glad yours isn't...and cut her some slack or even better, give her a hand with him.

we need charmkin's statement now.