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AIBU?

AIBU to rearrange midwife appointment?

87 replies

Tiredallofthetime · 08/12/2022 16:26

Unfortunately, I’ve had to have more time off than anticipated this year. I am pregnant (8 weeks) and was due to see my midwife for the booking in appointment next week. We are supposed to give a form to our managers to sign for planned absence, and this must be done no later than two weeks in advance. Unfortunately I wasn’t in on Monday so have missed the ‘deadline’ as it were.

So quick question - I don’t remember covering anything vital in the first one, although it was during covid and so over the phone. The main concern is delaying the midwife appointment could delay my 12 week scan - does anyone know if this is the case? Sorry for shameless abuse of AIBU.

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Cakecakecheese · 08/12/2022 16:30

Your employer needs to give you time off for maternity appointments, you may end up getting other appointments with less than 2 weeks notice.

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Tiredallofthetime · 08/12/2022 16:33

I know and I think if I’d been given the appointment with less than two weeks notice then that would be different, but I wasn’t.

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NeedMoMoney · 08/12/2022 16:35

Cakecakecheese · 08/12/2022 16:30

Your employer needs to give you time off for maternity appointments, you may end up getting other appointments with less than 2 weeks notice.

Yep! You won't always be able to give more then two weeks notice! I was a high risk pregnancy and some days after a scan they would need to book me in for another scan within a week! They can't deny you any time off for maternity appointments and they would be absolutely fucked as company if they tried!

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Tiredallofthetime · 08/12/2022 16:38

Yes, I know - but with this I DID know. And even if they let me, it does mark your card rather. Perhaps I’m being a bit silly but it is a worry for me at the moment.

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Mommabear20 · 08/12/2022 16:43

Don't tell them that you knew! Tell them it was a last minute cancellation that you got so as not to delay your other appointments.

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DenholmElliot11 · 08/12/2022 16:48

Prioritise your unborn child. You're it's only champion.

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MajesticElephant · 08/12/2022 16:48

I think you need a bit of perspective here. What’s more important, your maternal health and that of your unborn child, or an arbitrary rule of two weeks? They are legally obliged to give you this time off!

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yikesanotherbooboo · 08/12/2022 16:52

At this time of year there are less appointments available with health professionals of all sorts due to bank holidays, annual leave and illness. I would take what I was going Ben I think rather than jeopardising a scan on time.

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Tiredallofthetime · 08/12/2022 17:10

Everyone telling me this - in theory I agree, in practice it is different.

I will return the form and they will refuse. And OK, they are breaking the law, but they aren’t going to care about that, so then, what do I do - seriously?

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Carbaction · 08/12/2022 17:10

Tiredallofthetime · 08/12/2022 16:38

Yes, I know - but with this I DID know. And even if they let me, it does mark your card rather. Perhaps I’m being a bit silly but it is a worry for me at the moment.

You are being incredibly silly.

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Tiredallofthetime · 08/12/2022 17:11

Thanks, @Carbaction , that was very helpful Hmm

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Blondlashes · 08/12/2022 17:12

Your legal rights www.acas.org.uk/your-maternity-leave-pay-and-other-rights/time-off-for-pregnancy-appointments
quote: By law, you have the right to reasonable time off with full pay for pregnancy-related ('antenatal') appointments and care before you have your baby. You have this right: from your first day of employment if you're an employee. whether you work full time or part time.
Id imagine their policy is neither here nor there. What you are asking for isn’t unreasonable

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Tiredallofthetime · 08/12/2022 17:16

I realise that @Blondlashes and thank you. I think the devil in the detail here is ‘reasonable.’ I work three days a week and they will argue that I should rearrange the appointment so that it falls in one of my days off and that since I did not give the required notice and follow the correct procedure my request for time off will be denied.

So given that, I do really need to know what happens if you can’t or don’t make your booking in appointment with the midwife. I do know that this was done over telephone last time and I don’t remember anything too viral being covered but what I don’t want is for it to impede upon the next scan and so on.

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Whattodo182 · 08/12/2022 17:20

My midwife appointments could only ever be on a Thursday as that's the only day she was at my GP clinic. If my work had refused a day off for a midwife appointment I'd have taken their asses to court. Yes you will absolutely delay your future appointments by delaying your booking in. Go to the appointment and hopefully grow a voice before your next child arrives.

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spare123 · 08/12/2022 17:22

There's a cutoff date for Down's screening - I think it's 13+6 but not 100% sure. sometimes they can't see well on the first scan and have to reschedule. cancelling risks delaying the process. If down's screening doesn't matter to you then it's less important.

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Tiredallofthetime · 08/12/2022 17:23

I have the same problem @Whattodo182 but saying you would take their asses to court and actually being able to do so, are unfortunately not the same thing.

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1FootInTheRave · 08/12/2022 17:23

At my trust this is face to face where we do the full booking notes, bloods and refer you for your first scan.

I really would attend. There may be a delay in the next available appointment and then potentially you have missed the window for screening etc.

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MRSDoos · 08/12/2022 17:23

OP I think you need to go to your midwife appointment and put yourself and little baby before your job.
It isn’t your fault that the midwife has booked you in for a date that you are working and legally you’re allowed to go to them.
Forget the “2 week notice period” it doesn’t really apply when you need midwife appointments and scans.
I’m not sure if it would delay your 12 week scan, I think that’s something you should ask the midwife on the phone if you do choose to re-arrange.

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Tiredallofthetime · 08/12/2022 17:23

I’m planning on having the Harmony test @spare123 , given my age, but the first scan is obviously important. What I’m asking is if delaying the booking in appointment with midwife delays the first scan.

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MRSDoos · 08/12/2022 17:24

OP have you actually told work that you need the day off for this appointment? Maybe you are over worrying over something that they’ll say “Yes all OK” too?

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MRSDoos · 08/12/2022 17:26

You might be over worrying for no reason, just tell them you need the time off for an important appointment. They might say Yes and all of the worrying or rebooking is for nothing

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Tiredallofthetime · 08/12/2022 17:26

Hope so but past experience is that this isn’t the case! Plus, because I’ve been off, they’ll want to make life as awkward as possible.

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Shutthegatepeter · 08/12/2022 17:27

If they’re going to be funny about it, phone in sick and go to your appointment.

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spare123 · 08/12/2022 17:27

Tiredallofthetime · 08/12/2022 17:23

I’m planning on having the Harmony test @spare123 , given my age, but the first scan is obviously important. What I’m asking is if delaying the booking in appointment with midwife delays the first scan.

very possibly yes as the scans will be booked sequentially from the booking appt.

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Tiredallofthetime · 08/12/2022 17:28

Thanks - will have to argue my case, then.

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